


The Great Mistake

by MrMeh



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: B.O.B is best boy, Blackmail, F/F, F/M, Genji has a cat, Get in the saddle and let's ride, Ghosts welcome, Good times, Group chat, I'm sorry about this, M/M, McCree tries his best, Mei is planning genocide, Memes, Overwatch backstory, Reviews Welcome, Title is WIP, a lot of gayness, bad times, genji is salty about dying, requests welcome, sassy zenyatta
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2020-10-14 20:44:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 35,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20607041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrMeh/pseuds/MrMeh
Summary: Jack decides to reopen the Old Overwatch Communications Chat....The greatest mistake of his life.(Will continue after lock down!)





	1. Jack makes mistakes and gets bullied (alot)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack reopens a chat room after years.  
Things take a turn for the worst.  
Meet a few of the 'special' cast.
> 
> (Read end notes for more info)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! If you read this and enjoy it, please check out the end notes to help me make a more enjoyable story for you :D

**[JACK MORRISON] HAS REOPENED [OVERWATCH BRIEFING CHAT]**

**[JACK MORRISON] HAS CHANGED [OVERWATCH BRIEFING CHAT] TO [OVERWATCH CHAT 2.0]**

**[JACK MORRISON] ADDED [LENA OXTON], [ANA AMARI], [HANA SONG], [WINSTON] AND SEVERAL OTHERS TO [OVERWATCH CHAT 2.0]**

**Jack : **Alright team, it's been 15 years now, I trust that you're all mature enough to ensure this chat room is used CORRECTLY.

**Hana : **lol you're so old. I was legit a foetus back then.

**Winston : **19 - 15 is 4. You were not a foetus.

**Hana** **: **Try me Harambe, I can be anything I want if I put my mind to it ;)

**Winston : **Already with the harambe jokes? They're not even funny.

**Hana : **but you're like the same person

**Winston : **ok first off that's racist

**Winston : **Second off

**Winston : **WHY DOES EVERYONE COMPARE ME TO THAT GUY?! HE'S A DICK!

**[Lúcio has entered the chat]**

**Lúcio : **Awww yeah, the chat's back! I missed my meme haven!

**Winston : **Hello Lúcio, how have you been?

**Lúcio : **Things have been pretty good! How about u Harambe?

**[Winston has left the chat]**

**Ana :** I've been in this chat since its release and I'm pretty sure that's a new record.

**Lúcio : **Glad to be of service ;)

**Fareeha : **That's a big fat lie, mom. I remember a looong ass period you weren't in this chat.

**Ana : **Oh ffs

**Ana : **Will you ever let that go?

**Ana : **It's not even that big a deal

**Fareeha : **YEARS, MOM

**Fareeha** **: **YEARS OF MY LIFE THINKING YOU WERE DEAD ISN'T A BIG DEAL?!

**Ana :** Come now, I'm not dead now! That's nice, isn't it?

**Fareeha : **At this point, that's a difficult question to answer.

**Ana : **Fuck youuuu

**Angela : **Ana, please.

**Angela : **That's my job ;)

**Angela : **Leave such matters to a trained professional. Thank you. :)

**Lena : **OH SNAP SHE'S GOT YA THERE LUV

<strike></strike>**Lena : **TEA FUCKING SPILLED 

**[Ana has left the chat]**

**Fareeha : **There she goes again

**Fareeha : **Leaving the chat as quickly as she left my life

**Jack : **This is EXACTLY what I didn't want to happen.

**Jack : **Is there anyone else here that is actually gonna use this chat for its intended purpose?

**Zarya : **Hello, Jack. I would be honoured to use this chat to assist you in helping our people.

**Bastion : **01001101 01100101 00100001 00100000 :D

**Zarya : **ew is that an omnic

**Bastion : **01000110 01110101 01101011 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110010 01100001 01100011 01101001 01110011 01110100 01110011 

**[Zarya has left the chat]**

**Mei : **Sorry about that, Bastion! I keep telling her to chill out with that casual racism

**Bastion :** :p

**Mei : **The only people I condone bullying the shit out of is the old Overwatch gang

**Jack : **You're in THE Overwatch chat. If you hate us, why are you here?

**Mei : **To murder a certain someone I know who's name begins with the letter J

**Lena : **Aww, but Junkrat did nothing wrong!

**Lena : **Besides steal

**Lena : **And kill a few people

**Lena : **No, a lot of people

**Lena : **Actually, what hasn't he done wrong?

**Lena : **Like have you seen his bounty holy crumpets

**Mei : **Wasn't talking about him but I feel like I need to apologise. Jamie's a great guy :D

**Lena : **But he's not even in this chat???

**Hana : **Trust me, he'll know

**Hana : **One time I was talking to my friend about gamergold in my own house

**Hana :** and no joke

**Hana : **he came out of the fuckING FLOORBOARDS 

**Hana : **and asked me where the gold was super casually

**Lena : **How the blimey did he get down there 0_o

**Lúcio : **ey trace can you say 'ah yes please continue' in a British accent in chat please

**Lena : **How does one type an accent 

**Lúcio :** aww shit didn't think about that :(

**Hana :** Anyways

**Hana : **I told him it was on the payload

**Hana : **first and last time I've seen him on the damn thing

**Hana : **That was also the last time I saw that friend. 

**Lena : **well damn I wonder why

**Hana : **I miss him but he was cramping my style so gg to him

**Jack : **What does this story have to do with someone in this chat wanting to kill the leader of Overwatch?

**Hana : **Shut it daddy-o it doesn't always have to be about you

**Fareeha : **Why do I have the odd feeling that you're not the only one who calls him daddy?

**Jack : **What is with you people?

**Jack** **: **So one of the world's most wanted criminals is a good guy, but I'm Satan for some reason?

**Mei : **Anyone is a saint compared to you to be fair

**Jack : **I haven't done anything to you. Why do you hate me?

**Mei : **YOU LET MY ENTIRE TEAM TURN INTO BONELESS POPSICLES BUT WITH THE BONES

**Mei : **CAPTAIN OPARA WAS MY BUTT BUDDY

**Mei : **YOU COULD HAVE SENT OUT A SEARCH PARTY

**Mei : **but noooooOOoo

**Mei : **you had to whine like a lil bitch about your problems instead

**Mei : **So yeah Jack I'm a little pissed off

**Lena : **fukin hell gramps why in the good name of Harambe would you do that

**Hana : **Damnnn, did not see this coming

**Mei : **Just like when Jack won't see me coming until AFTER I shove an icicle up his wide ass

**Angela : **I've known Jack for a very long time, long enough to know he'd probably be in that

**Jack : **THAT KIND OF INFORMATION WILL NOT BE SHARED IN THIS CHAT

**Reinhardt : **HE DIDN'T DENY IT THOUGH

**Reinhardt : **CLASSIC JACK

**Lena : **Oh blimey how long has he been here

**Reinhardt : **FAR TOO LONG, MY SMALL BRITISH FRIEND

**Lúcio : **my poor virgin eyes what's with the caps lock

**Reinhardt : **AH YES

**Reinhardt : **I BROKE IT

**Reinhardt : **I PRESSED THE TINY BUTTON AND IT BROKE LIKE JACK'S SELF ESTEEM

**Hana : **So it's never coming back then

**Reinhardt : **PRECISELY

**Reinhardt : **THAT'S WHY GERMANS ARE THE BEST

**Reinhardt : **THEIR RAW POWER IS UNMATCHED

**Angela : **Ah yes, I remember the power of the Germans well. The world wars are a great example.

**Torbjörn : **SHE'S GOT YA THERE!

**Lena : **I can hear them screaming in my head and it scares me

**Angela : **Are you alright, Lena?

**Lena : **no

**Angela : **I'm coming over there and giving you heals weather you like it or not

**Lena : **Aww, thanks doc! :)

**Angela :** :)

**Genji :** OH COME ON

**Genji :** I ask for heals all the time

**Genji :** But when the lesbian doesn't even ask you're like take my heals bitch

**Angela : **Oh screw you Genji enjoy no one likes you

**Genji : **But they do thoughhh 

**Angela : **Your family told your brother to kill you they hated you so much

**Fareeha : **not to mention that mvp actually went through with it

**Genji : **ok screw you guys for bringing that up so soon

**Genji :** Oh would you look at the time

**Genji : **I have ninja stuff to do

**[Genji has left the chat]**

**Hana : **gg ez what a noob

**Lúcio : **Never talk like that again Hana

**Torbjörn : **NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST SAID BUT GOOD RIDDANCE!

**Angela : **Please don't say you're gonna be talking in caps lock too

**Torbjörn : **KINDA? IT'S DIFFICULT WRITING WITH HALF A HAND!

**Lúcio : **Half? That ain't right 0_o

**Torbjörn :** IT'S BRIGITTE'S DAMN CATS! ONE ATTACKED ME FOR NO REASON!

**Brigitte : **Well, papa, that's what you get for sitting on Sénor Floofy IV's spot!

**Torbjörn : **BUT YOU HAVE SO MANY

**T****orbjörn : **EVERYWHERE IS THE CAT'S SPOT

**Brigitte :** :)

**Torbjörn : **IT'S SO HARD TO TYPE

**Torbjörn : **THANK GOD FOR AUTO CORRECT

**Torbjörn : **NO PROBLEMS WITH IT AT ALE

**Torbjörn : ***ALE

**Torbjörn : ***ALL

**Torbjörn : **FUCK

**Jack : **Torbjörn, Rein, you're both old and wise. So I assume you're gonna be using this chat correctly?

**Reinhardt : **NO

**Torbjörn ****: **NO

**Reinhardt : **THINK OF ALL THE OPPORTUNITIES I'LL HAVE TO BULLY MY SMALL DWARF BUDDY

**Torbjörn : **FOR THE LAST TIME YOU IMBICILE

**Torbjörn : **I'M. NOT. A. DWARF

**Reinhardt : **WHATEVER YOU SAY :D

**J****ack** **: **I swear to whatever God is out there 

**Fareeha : **Angela <3

**Jack : **um

**Jack : **ok then I swear to Angela

**Angela : **Don't you fucking swear at me old man if you know what's good for you

**Jack : **I'M GONNA START SUSPENDING PEOPLE SOON IF YOU DON'T CHANGE YOUR TONE

**Jack : **For starters

**[Mei has received a 2 hour ban]**

**NotMei : Y̧̡̛̞͋̽͢͠o͖͡u̱͕̐͛͆͢ ̡͇̥̌̎c̠̠͔̄͋̿͡ͅa̭̺͕̿̀̍͟͡n̻̆'̭̺͉͕͒̇͒̕t̡̙̒̈́ s̛̟͕͓̭̀̕͡t̮̣͊͘ó̦̯͊͋͢p ̧̫͍̠͌́̀m̢̩͇͈͐͒͐͐̆͢e̢͍̐͠,̛̙ J̢̎Ḁ͕̳͖͒̑͗͝C̛̲̞͎̪͒͐̔K̦̿͒͟**

**Jack : **Oh So I'm probably still getting murdered by the ice queen

**Jack : **fucking fantastic

**Zenyatta : **My friend, I cannot help but notice you seem quite tense.

**Jack : **no shit 

**Zenyatta : **Regardless, I think talking about the problem helps. Tell me your thoughts, my friend.

**Jack : **I wish these guys would stop messing around so we could use this chat to actually move the damn payload

**Hana : **Bro the point of this chat is to communicate and that's what were doing

**Hana : **What more do you want from us :(

**Zenyatta : **I believe a break is in order.

**Lúcio :** lol it's been 5 minutes and he already needs a break

**Zenyatta : **I can be a substitute host in your absence.

**Jack : **You'd do that for me? :')

**Jack : **alright I trust you

**Jack : **you just gotta make sure no one exposes overwatch secrets etc, easy stuff

**Zenyatta : ** I can do that. Go and have your break.

**Jack : **Thanks Zen :')

**[Jack has left the chat]**

**Zenyatta : **Ok who has the goods

**Lúcio : **He really fell for that? Damn I overestimated him

**Lena : **You're the best, Zen!

**Zenyatta : **Thank you :)

**Brigitte : **Here comes the goods!

**Brigitte :** *cat pic*

**Brigitte :** *cat pic*

**Brigitte : ***cat pic*

**Zenyatta : **Nice.

**Lena : **Aww, they're adorable!

**Torbjörn : **THAT'S THE BASTARD WHO ATTACKED ME!

**Brigitte : **FFS DAD DON'T RUIN THE MOMENT

**Lena : **Soo, we can put whatever in this chat? Nice!

**[Genji has joined the chat]**

**Genji : **ow fuck I stubbed my toee

**Genji : **angela pls

**[Genji has received a 2 hour ban]**

**Angela : **I like this guy already :)


	2. Edgelords, Dogs, and Cowgirls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad guys have entered the chat.  
They hate it here already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! If you enjoy what you see here (or just wanna leave a comment idk you man) check out the end notes to help me make a more enjoyable story for you :)

**Hana : **Hey guyssss, I kinda lost a bet.

**Brigitte : **Doesn't have anything to do with my cats, does it?

**Hana :** ...

**Brigitte : **I swear to god I will steal your prized collection and burn it down in front of your face if you do anything to them

**Hana : **I said it in a joking way and she took it seriously!

**Brigitte : **WHY WOULD YOU JOKE ABOUT MY BABIES LIKE THAT?!

**Hana : **I'M SORRY D:

**Brigitte : **WTF HANA

**Torbjörn : **COME ON, LOSING A CAT ISN'T THAT BAD

**Brigitte : **Come on, losing a dad isn't that bad :)

**[Torbjörn has left the chat]**

**Genji : **Bets on him whopping your ass

**Genji : **I'm not the only one who is gonna need a visit from Angela

**Angela : **Stfu Genji it's my day off

**Lena : **Um, isn't it a Tuesday?

**Angela : **It is.

**Angela : **But Fareeha is sick.

**Fareeha : **lol yeah

**Fareeha : **But can you stop treating me like a child, you're not my mom.

**Angela : **I'm better then your mom ;)

**Fareeha : **True that

**Fareeha : **:)

**Angela : **:)

**[Ana has left the chat]**

**Jesse : **Woah, that quick, huh? I missed alot.

**Genji : **No one cares jesse

**Jesse : **What's wrong with you? Woke up on the wrong side of the software this morning?

**Genji : **that

**Genji : **that doesn't even make sense

**Jesse : **it was an omnic joke lol

**Genji : **wtf is a software

**Genji : **and I'm pretty sure that's racist

**Jesse : **it make sense ;)

**Hanzo : **No it doesn't.

**Jesse : **no it doesn't :(

**Brigitte : **Can we please get onto the real issue here?

**Genji : **Your dad kicking your ass?

**Zenyatta : **Genji.

**Genji : **Yes, master?

**Zenyatta : **Shut up.

**Genji : **Yes, master :(

**Zenyatta : **Now Hana, what is this bet you lost?

**Brigitte : **Yeah Hana

**Brigitte : **Explain

**Hana : **Brigitte I may have broke the agreement but my fame was on the line

**Jesse : **Agreement?

**Hana : **Before we started dating she made me look at this 20 page agreement

**Hana : **If I break anything in the agreement she has permission to break up with me

**Hana : **But she fit af so I went through with it

**Brigitte : **Wasn't it only 5 pages?

**Brigitte : **Oh wait

**Brigitte : **that was Yuna's

**Hana : **SHE ONLY GOT 5?!

**Brigitte : **She's less of a maniac then you are

**Brigitte : **This incident proves it

**Jesse : **What kind of things were in this agreement?

**Hana : **Mostly cat stuff

**Jesse : **Yikes.

**Jesse : **Do we need an agreement, Hanzo?

**Hanzo : **What would you want in an agreement? 

**Jesse : **Stop disappearing every Sunday

**Jesse : **and tell me how cool my poncho is. :D

**Hanzo : **Ok, never mind.

**Jesse : **:(

**Angela : **What about us, Fareeha? <3

**Fareeha : **Stop treating me like a child and we're all good. <3

**Angela : **Yeah it's not gonna work out for us either

**Hana : **I wrote it down lemme copy n paste

**Hana : **So I was at the arcade, getting high scores cause I'm awesome and this woman runs up to me. She said she could beat me at the game I was playing. So that's where I joked about betting on my gf's cats and she won. Now she want to meet you and have one of your cats cause I promised. She says if I don't she'll expose me soooo :p

**Jesse : **lol you messed up good

**Angela : **Where is this woman?

**Hana : **Oh

**Hana : **She's standing right next to me

**Genji : **So you've been typing away at your phone for the last 5 minutes

**Genji : **And she's just standing there?

**Hana : **pretty much yeah

**Hana : **brb gotta go talk with her

**Hanzo : **What does 'Brb' mean?

**Jesse : **Big roasted boobs, I think

**Lena : **Jesse where the blimey did you hear that o_0

**Jesse : **America

**Genji : **You'll have to bear with him, he's not the smartest.

**Jesse : **Try me Genji, I'll prove I'm smart

**Genji : **What's 12 - 14?

**Jesse : **2

**Hanzo : **It's -2, Jesse.

**Jesse : **Hey no you said that the other way round

**Genji : **This is a chat room

**Jesse : **fuck

**Jesse : **moving on

**Jesse : **about the girl

**Jesse : **She seems mighty determined for a free cat

**Jesse : **Can't we just give the damn thing to her?

**Brigitte : **It's almost like he wants me to kill him

**Hana : **alright I'm back

**Hana : **She says she likes this group

**Genji : **How???

**Hana : **She said

**Hana : **if we let her in she'll consider the debt paid

**Angela : **Shouldn't we check their background first?

**Brigitte : **You've let criminals join Overwatch before now stfu and let her in

**Hanzo : **What does 'stfu' mean?

**Angela : **Shut the fuck up.

**Hanzo : **Rude. I only asked.

**Hanzo : **Oh wait.

**Hanzo : **Thank you.

**Angela : **Anytime :)

**Hana : **Ok Zen gimme admin before she changes her mind

**Zenyatta : **If you're sure.

**[HANA SONG] ADDED [SOMBRA] TO [OVERWATCH CHAT 2.0]**

**Sombra : **Hola :)

**Brigitte : **Alright troglodyte

**Brigitte : **WHY are you trying So hard so hard to take my babies away from me

**Angela : **No need to be so rude!

**Jesse : **weren't yah the one who broke Genji's nose for a loaf of bread?

**Angela : **no

**Genji : **YES

**Angela :** ok but it wasn't that broken

**Genji :** On a scale of broken to broken

**Genji :** It was pretty broken.

**Jesse : **Not like you need to worry bout that now lol 

**Genji : **Shut up Jesse

**Genji : **We all know that you only play banker so you can slip yourself money

**Genji : **And you still manage to lose

**Jesse : **:(

**Sombra : **Never trust a cowboy :)

**Hana : **yeah we all hate him here tbf 

**Hanzo : **I know this is getting repetitive, but what does 'tbf' mean?

**Jesse : **the booty floppin

**Hana : **can you stop

**Jesse :** wait

**Jesse :** How did @Sombra know I was a cowboy?

**Sombra : **um

**Sombra : **Didn't you say something about ponchos earlier?

**Brigitte : **LOOK WHO GIVES A CAT ABOUT PONCHOS WHAT DID YOU WANT WITH MY BABIES

**Sombra : **What can I say, I like cats :)

**Brigitte : **omg that's awesome

**Brigitte : **which ones are your favourite

**Sombra : **The white ones?

**Brigitte : **SAME 

**Brigitte : **I trust you with my life now

**Brigitte : **Have you ever wanted to be in a relationship with 3 other people for no reason in particular

**Jesse : **Woah there 0_o

**Jesse :** this took a mighty fast turn

**Sombra : **No, but I do have some friends who would love to join the convo :)

**Brigitte : **:o

**Brigitte :** Yeah ok bestie do what you want

**Hana : **Yeah I see nothing going wrong with this plan

**Brigitte : **Ignore her she's a cat thief just do it

**Hana : **I said I was sorry :(

**Angela : **Brigitte will probably forget about it after her nap so just hang in there

**Sombra : **Inviting them now :)

**[SOMBRA] Has sent out an invite.**

**[SOMBRA] Has sent out an invite.**

**[SOMBRA] Has sent out an invite.**

**[SOMBRA] Has sent out an invite.**

**[SOMBRA] Has sent out an invite.**

**Jesse : **WOAHHH THERE 0_o

**Jesse : **Too much social interaction for me

**[REAPER] Has joined the chat.**

**[WIDOWMAKER] Has joined the chat.**

**Widowmaker : **This better not be a waste of my time.

**Sombra : **;)

**Reaper : **Knowing Sombra, you're probably gonna be disappointed.

**Angela : **Do I know you? I feel like I do.

**Reaper : **No?

**Reaper : **Wait, is this OVERWATCH?

**Sombra : **Si ;)

**Reaper : **Ohhh, I got it 

**Reaper : **So when do we tell them?

**Jesse : **Excuse me mr Reaper I have a question

**Reaper : **Oh god it's you

**Reaper : **What?

**Jesse : **Are you a bad guy?

**Widowmaker : **What makes you think that?

**Jesse :** I mean, your names for one, 'Widowmaker', 'Reaper'

**Widowmaker : **Fair point. I'll let Reaper explain.

**Reaper : **???

**Reaper : **Why me?

**Widowmaker : **Because.

**Widowmaker : **I am too tired to care.

**Reaper : **Well you see 

**Reaper : **Um

**Sombra : **They're emos. Those are their emo names :)

**Widowmaker : **Yes, that.

**Widowmaker : **Whatever that means.

**Jesse : **Nice.

**Jesse : **Have any cool emo backstories? Genji does even though he won't admit it

**Genji : **I Do not!

**Jesse :** Exactly.

**Jesse : **your names just scream ' I hate everyone' and 'I killed my husband' and now you're both super edgy and form up to become bad guys and kill everyone you don`t like

**[Widowmaker has left the chat]**

**Reaper : **Yikes.

**Sombra : **Looks like it's just the two of us now, ey Reaps ;)

**Reaper : **Fun.

**Hana : **Full offence but you're bringing the mood of the chat super down

**Sombra : **Do not fear sombra is here

**Jesse : **LMAO that's stupid

**Reaper : **You have something in common, then.

**Jesse : **Stop bullyin me :(

**[JUNKRAT] Has joined the chat.**

**[ROADHOG] Has joined the chat.**

**Junkrat : **I'VE BEEN TOLD

**Junkrat : **ABOUT THE GOLD

**Junkrat : **WHERE'S IT AT

**Junkrat : **YOU CAN TELL JUNKRAT :D

**Jesse : **lol what 

**Angela : **Please don't tell me you've actually been waiting to use that

**Junkrat : **Hana said if I'm nicer to people they'd like me more!

**Genji : **This is coming from the man who stole my lunch YESTERDAY 

**Junkrat : **Anythin left on the counter is fair game!

**Genji : **Not if it belongs to a man who has nothing else :(

**Angela : **I offered you cookies.

**Angela : **But you had to whine like a bitch cause they were made with swiss chocolate

**Angela : **Have some left over if you care so much

**Roadhog : ***had

**Angela : **Mein gott

**Angela** : you ate the whole tray?!

**Roadhog : **ye

**Junkrat : **hey you let us on your base we're entitled to your food

**Angela** **:** No, we didnt.

**Junkrat** **:** Oh.

**Junkrat** **:** Well then, how did we get here?

**Roadhog** **:** Bike.

**Junkrat :** Oh yeah! :D

**Hanzo : **What has this room become?

**Hanzo : **Is anyone allowed in this chat now?

**Junkrat** : Yea!

**Junkrat : **We need more bad people!

**Junkrat : **You guys are too sane

**Reaper** : Debatable.

**Hanzo : **Well then, give me a moment.

**Hanzo : **And admin.

**Zenyatta : **I suppose it doesn`t matter at this point. Have fun.

**Junkrat : **we getting more psychos in chat?

**Hanzo : **Yes.

**[Hanzo has left the chat]**

**Junkrat : **:o

**Junkrat : **yay! :D

**Hana : **aww he`s like an excited puppy

**Hana :** can we keep him pleeeease?

**Roadhog : **Please.

**Angela : **But you`ll have to feed him.

**Angela : **And get him his own room.

**Junkrat : **I can live in the walls!

**Hana : **See? He can live in the walls.

**Angela : **Fineee.

**Angela : **But you`ll have to tell Jack.

**Hana : **YES :D

**Junkrat : **Can we go out for a walk?

**Hana : **God you`re so demanding

**Junkrat : **Pleeeeease?

**Hana : **Fine.

**Junkrat : **Yay :D

**[Junkrat has left the chat]**

**[Hana has left the chat]**

**Jesse : **Wait a sec

**Jesse : **Hanzo has friends?

**Lena : **He`s been gone for 2 mins and you`re only asking that now?

**Genji : **Forgive him, he`s slow

**Jesse : **Yeah

**Jesse : **Wait no

**Angela : **Isn`t he your boyfriend?

**Jesse : **well

**[HANZO] Has joined the chat.**

**[ASHE] Has joined the chat.**

**Ashe : **Howdy there cowboys and cowgirls

**Hanzo : **I`m back.

**Jesse : **WHAT THE FUCK HANZO

**Ashe : **WHAT THE HOWDY HOW HANZO

**Ashe : **YOU SAID HE WASN`T HERE

**Hanzo : **I lied.

**Hanzo : **=)

**Jesse : **BEGONE THOT

**Ashe : **THIS WASN`T PART OF THE DEAL

**Lena : **Can you please stop screaming

**Angela : **Lena we`ve been over this

**Angela : **It`s ok

**Lena : **no it`s not

**Ashe : **That was literally my only condition

**Ashe : **"As long as there`s no Billy the kid rip offs I`m game"

**Jesse : **I thought you loved me bro :(

**Jesse : **How you gonna do me like this

**Hanzo : **You both dress up like cowboys everywhere you go.

**Hanzo : **I thought you might be friends or something.

**Jesse : **I`ve already told you I hate this crazy bitch

**Ashe : **You`re more of a bitch then I`ll ever be

**Hanzo : **Actually,

**Hanzo : **You`ve only ever called her "that cray b" and never used her real name.

**Angela : **Jesse 

**Jesse : **Yee?

**Angela : **You`re an idiot.

**Jesse : **Yee :(

**Angela : **Hello Ashe, it`s been a while.

**Ashe : **Wussup beautiful ;)

**Angela : **@Fareeha you better come see this

**Fareeha : **What chu want homie

**Fareeha : **OH MY GOD

**Fareeha : **My fave cowperson

**Jesse : **wtf

**Ashe : **Howdy kid

**Fareeha : **NOT YOU TOO

**Fareeha : **I`m not a kid anymore D:

**Jesse : **C`mon fareeha you know you like me more

**Fareeha : **good one

**Ashe : **I missed you guys

**Ashe : **Except Jesse of course

**Jesse : **Yeah but I bet they didn`t miss you

**Angela : **I did.

**Fareeha : **I did.

**Genji : **I did.

**Sombra : **Moira says she missed you

**Ashe : **ew moira

**Ashe : **At least she`s not here

**Sombra : **lol yeah about that

**Angela : **Wait

**Angela : **You didn`t.

**Sombra : **Yeah I did ;)

**Genji : **Why would you invite HER?

**Sombra : **Drama :)

**Angela : **Yeah but

**Angela : **Moira

**Sombra : **Exactly 

**Ashe : **It`s been 15 years,

**Ashe : **Is Genji still depressed?

**Genji : **Yes?

**Ashe : **Who would have guessed

**Jesse : **Pretty sure I`ve never seen him smile

**Genji : **Really?

**Jesse : **Yeah, you should try it.

**Jesse : **Makes you happier

**Genji : **Yeah but Jesse

**Genji : **I`M A CYBORG

**Jesse : **Wait

**Jesse : **oh yeah

**Ashe : **LMAO

**Ashe : **Still hasn`t gotten any smarter I see

**Angela : **Lol yea

**Jesse : **:(

**Brigitte ****: **@ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA GET OVER HERE NOW

**Angela : **JESUS 

**Brigitte : **DAD`S HERE

**Brigitte : **AND HE LOOKS PISSED

**Genji : **LMAO I CALLED IT

**Ashe : **F

**Jesse : **F

**Ashe : **Don`t you copy me pigboy

**Jesse : **Don`t YOU copy ME

**Ashe : **I SAID IT FIRST

**Jesse : **NO U DIDN`T

**Hanzo : **She`s right, to be fair.

**Jesse : **LET`S TAKE THIS OUTSIDE ALBINO

**Ashe : **OH IT`S ON

**[Jesse has left the chat]**

**[Ashe has left the chat]**

**Hanzo : **Oh.

**Brigitte : **@ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA @ANGELA HURRY TF UP

**Angela : **OK FINE

**Angela : **BUT IF FAREEHA DIES, IT`S ON YOU

**Fareeha : **It`s only a cold chill

**Brigitte : **HE`S GONNA GET IN

**Genji : **I totally called this

**[Angela has left the chat]**

**[Brigitte has left the chat]**

**Genji : **Someone owes me money

**Fareeha : **But we didn`t bet on it

**Genji : **Kuso :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, if you liked this chapter and want to leave a critique, don't be shy! :D
> 
> Also, REQUESTS ARE WELCOME. Encouraged, really.  
This can range from :  
ANY ship you want included in the story (we need more!)  
A certain character you'd like to see more of/added into the chat  
(Keep in mind that all playable characters will be added soon)  
Anything specific that you want (so, anything, really.)
> 
> Also! I wanna change the title! If you have any title suggestions, PLEASE let me know :)
> 
> I`m getting used to using this site, so if you see anything weird, let me know.
> 
> Have a good day :D


	3. Furry Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the title suggests, a cat shows up at some point.  
As if there wasn`t enough of them last time.
> 
> This chapter is a little more on the fluff side then the humor side, depending on how you look at it.
> 
> I wanted to get a chapter out for the start of the Halloween event, here`s praying Ashe + Bob get a good skin. Happy early Halloween, I guess :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! If you enjoy what you see here (or just wanna leave a comment idk you man) check out the end notes to help me make a more enjoyable story for you :)
> 
> I know these beginning chapters may suck, cause y`know, I never write anything, but I hope to improve as chapters progress, bare with me :D

**Genji : **@Brigitte you good?

**Angela : **Dude

**Angela : **It`s 4am

**Angela : **Why tf are you up

**Genji : **I`m a cyborg duh don`t need no sleep

**Genji : **And why are you up?

**Angela : **Coffee is a wonderful tool :)

**Sombra : **Why are you guys up at 4am?

**Genji : **Need Brigitte

**Genji : **Wait shit she didn`t respond

**Genji : **She dead?

**Reaper : **I hope so.

**Sombra : **ew edgy

**Reaper : **ew Sombra.

**Genji : **guys

**Genji : **Brigitte might be dead and you`re arguing

**Lena : **Or she could be sleeping, like a normal human being!

**Genji : **Then why are YOU up?

**Lena : **none of us are normal

**Angela : **Lena...

**Lena : **need coffee

**Angela : **come over to my office, I have plenty :)

**Lena : **Thanks doc 

**Angela : **:)

**Lena : **:)

**Genji : **guys please

**Genji : **Someone check on Brigitte

**Sombra : **Why don`t you just ping her alot?

**Sombra : **If she doesn`t respond, she`s dead. :)

**Reaper : **That`s a bit dramatic.

**Genji : **Oh that`s a good idea

**Genji : **@Brigitte @Brigitte you alive?

**Genji : **@Brigitte???

**Sombra : **Nah, way more then that

**Genji : **why don`t you do it then?

**Sombra : **Sleepy Brigitte is scary Brigitte

**Angela : **GENJI PLEASE

**Angela : **Don`t awaken the beast

**Genji : **@Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte @Brigitte YOU GOOD FAM?!

**Genji : **wait what did you say Angela

**Brigitte : **EXCUSE ME

**Brigitte : **I`M TRYING TO HAVE A GOD DAMN NAP

**Brigitte : **YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE, YOU WALKING TOASTER

**Angela : **uh oh

**Genji : **Can you come collect your fluffball?

**Angela : **Zen, you might need to visit Genji soon :p

**Brigitte : **you`re telling me

**Brigitte : **you`re waking me up at 3am

**Brigitte : **to pick up a cat.

**Sombra : **It`s actually 4am, jengibre :)

**Brigitte : **don`t even start bestie I`m not in the mood

**Genji : **Yes.

**Brigitte : **...

**Genji : **Is that a yes? 

**Brigitte : **@Angela

**Angela : **Getting the rez ready as we speak :)

**Genji : **wait no

**Lena : **Can I watch?

**Reaper : **You should stream it. I`ll watch.

**Genji : **Brigitte

**Genji : **I was just concerned for your cat.

**Genji : **It looks like it`s freezing and I don`t have a coat

**Genji : **Because I don`t need one, obviously.

**Brigitte : **Where are you

**Brigitte : **So I can kill you

**Brigitte : **and help the cat

**Brigitte : **but mostly to kill you

**Angela : **You`ve made her sleep angry.

**Lena : **Is that bad?

**Angela : **Very bad.

**Genji : **How did it even get up here?

**Brigitte : **One more time

**Brigitte : **WHERE ARE YOU

**Genji : **I`m at my meditation spot.

**Brigitte : **How could it escape me?

**Brigitte : **I mean

**Brigitte : **Why is it there?

**Reaper : **The only thing that wants to be close to Genji is a cat.

**Reaper : **Cute.

**Brigitte : **Send me a pic of the cat?

**Genji : ***Photo*

**Brigitte : **<3

**Brigitte : **ok brb

**Lena : **I have a question!

**Reaper : **Never a good thing.

**Lena : **Who meditates in the middle of the night?

**Sombra : **Good question

**Reaper : **Actaully, yeah.

**Reaper : **Wtf Genji?

**Genji : **Me, obviously.

**Lena : **I mean

**Lena : **fair

**Angela : **Better yet,

**Angela : **Who brings a phone to a meditation session?

**Sombra : **Don`t you meditate to clear your mind or something? Why the phone?

**Zenyatta : **I taught you better then this, Genji.

**Zenyatta : **I am quite disappointed.

**Genji : **:(

**Lena : **Maybe he was carrying it in his pockets! For an emergency or something!

**Genji : **I don`t wear clothes.

**Lena : **Oh yeah :p

**Lena : **Need more coffee

**Angela : **Omg Lena

**Angela : **That`s my cup

**Angela : **Make your own 

**Lena : **I CRAVE THE COFFEE

**Lena : **I CAN`T WAIT

**Angela : **WHAT ARE YOU DOING

**Sombra : **Explain???

**Angela : **Bitch stole my life force

**Angela : **Gotta go fix Lena, back in a sec

**Lena : **wait no

**Genji : **omg it`s vibrating 

**Genji : **someone fix it 

**Reaper : **It`s called "purring".

**Reaper : **You`re an idiot.

**Genji : **No I`m not.

**Zenyatta : **Yes, you are.

**Genji : **Yes, I am :(

**Brigitte : **ALRIGHT LISTEN UP BEFORE I PASS OUT

**Brigitte : **I`ve looked at all my cats that this cat looks like.

**Brigitte : **Brigitte Jr, Snuffle butt, Pumpkin, Tina, Rhitta, Mr Fluff, Sleepy, Bob, Lilith, Mini Rein, Angel, Bubblegum, Catyatta, Catniss, Kitty Poppins, Ali, Catball, Jeff, Shorty, Tiger, Crumpet, Star, Melon, Roland, Jack, Mr Sandman, Orange, Catman, Catman JR, Catman SR, Pixar, Papa, Jeff, Princess and Reginald are all accounted for.

**Reaper : **What.

**Reaper : **You have that many cats?

**Sombra : **No.

**Sombra : **Those are only the ginger ones.

**Reaper : **Huh.

**Reaper : **Thought these people couldn`t get any weirder.

**Genji : **What does that even mean?

**Brigitte : **It means, broken calculator,

**Brigitte : **It`s not one of mine.

**Genji : **Wait, really?

**Lena : **DUN DUN DUNNNNN

**Reaper : **I don`t even know this girl and that`s oddly shocking.

**Reaper : **Oh hi, coffee girl.

**Lena : **eyyyy

**Lena : **m stuck

**Sombra : **???

**Angela : **I manage to tie her up

**Angela : **She may be fast but I`m a girl on a mission

**Angela : **and on a coffee rush

**Reaper : **And why did you tie her up?

**Angela : **She just wouldn`t stop

**Angela : **Stealing my life force

**Angela : **atleast she can still type

**Angela : **She stays until she passes out or something

**Lena : **woooo

**Lena : **m happy :D

**Genji : **ew it`s vibrating against me again

**Lena : **not an expert but

**Lena : **I think it`s supposed to do that

**Genji : **What does it mean?

**Lena : **I think it likes you!

**Genji : **Oh.

**Genji : **=3

**Genji : **I like it too.

**Lena : **yeah thats right folks

**Lena : **i may not be an expert on cats

**Lena : **but I am an expert on POUSSY

**Sombra : **ew

**Sombra : **no

**Angela : **Lena, what did we talk about?

**Lena : **um

**Lena : **no bad stuff in the chat 

**Angela : **Exactly.

**Angela : **Now shut up, doctor`s orders.

**Lena : **fiiiiiiiine

**Brigitte : **@Genji 

**Genji : **Hey.

**Genji : **That`s me :)

**Brigitte : **no shit

**Brigitte : **there`s so many cliffs out here

**Brigitte : **which one you at?

**Genji : **I`ll summon my huge glowy ass dragon

**Genji : **So you can see me

**Genji : **Will that help?

**Lena : **noooo

**Genji :** ??

**Lena : **youll scare the pretty fluffy

**Genji : **Good point.

**Genji : **You`re on your own, sorry.

**Brigitte : **Jesus why can`t we just scrap him @Angela

**Angela : **I kinda owe him

**Sombra : **For what?

**Angela : **You don`t wanna know

**Lena : **i dooo

**Sombra : **eh, sure we`ll find out in the distant future

**Brigitte : **OMG

**Brigitte : **WHO CARES

**Brigitte : **I`M FREEZING

**Brigitte : **WHERE TF ARE YOU

**Lena : **wait wait wait wait genj

**Genji : **Yes?

**Lena : **you could get up and wave your hands like this

**Lena : **see

**Lena : **m waving

**Lena : **do that

**Angela : **We can`t see you.

**Lena : **omg are you blind

**Lena : **i know how to fix that

**Lena : **your eyes

**Lena ****: **open em

**Angela : **I think coffee was a bad idea.

**Reaper : **I think coffee was a GREAT idea.

**Sombra : **she does have a point though, chatarra. Why not just wave?

**Genji : **Oh.

**Genji : **Forgot I could do that

**Zenyatta : **Why.

**Genji : **You forget alot while you`re meditating.

**Sombra : **And yet, you still remembered to bring your phone?

**Genji : **Shut up

**Genji : **I`m coming brig

**Genji : **wait

**Genji : **OMG IT`S SITTING ON MY LAP NOW

**Lena : **pics or it didn`t happen

**Genji : ***Photo*

**Angela : **omg he`s adorable

**Angela : **The cyborg`s alright, too.

**Genji : **THAT`S THE NICEST THING YOU`VE EVER SAID TO ME, ANGELA

**Angela : **I take it back.

**Genji : **It`s so floofy

**Brigitte : **Genji

**Brigitte : **Where are you

**Genji : **On a cliff

**Brigitte : **my god

**Genji : **are you still trying to kill me or are you in it for the cat? 

**Brigitte : **bit of both really

**Brigitte : **but i wanna see the cat

**Brigitte : **killing you would be a bonus

**Genji : **And what do you plan on doing with the cat?

**Brigitte : **Well I`m planning to come over there and adopt it :)

**Genji : **Yeah, about that.

**Brigitte : **?

**Reaper : **??

**Angela : **???

**Lena : **??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

**Genji : **I like it, and I think it likes me.

**Genji : **I wanna keep it.

**Lena : **gasp

**Lena : **genji gets a kitty

**Lena : **can i name it

**Genji : **sure

**Angela : **DON`T 

**Angela : **she sucks with names

**Lena : **It`s not my fault I have emotional attachment to inanimate objects

**Lena : **i miss fries sometimes :(

**Genji : **Ok I see it now 

**Angela : **But,

**Angela : **Do you even know how to look after a cat?

**Genji : **I can learn.

**Genji : **I like this one :)

**Zenyatta : **I gave him a field of flowers to look after once, to test his patience.

**Zenyatta : **They all died.

**Lena : **yikess

**Genji : **But master, a cat is different.

**Zenyatta : **It`s harder.

**Zenyatta : **And it only took you 3 days to kill the flowers.

**Genji : **But it`s cuteee, flowers aren`t cute

**Lena : **hes got a fair point there

**Zenyatta : **@Angela, please keep an eye on this cat.

**Angela : **What

**Angela : **Why me?

**Zenyatta : **I trust you.

**Angela : **Yeah but

**Angela : **Genji

**Zenyatta : **We all have to do things we don`t want to, now is your time.

**Genji : **oi

**Genji : **@Brigitte? You ok with this?

**Genji : **@Brigitte?

**Genji : **Did she die again?

**Angela : **Look just

**Angela : **Bring the cat inside, and look out for brigitte

**Lena : **she gonna kill youu

**Angela : **I didn`t mean it like that but yes, she might.

**Reaper : **Can I watch?

**Angela : **But we don`t even know who you are

**Angela : **Or Sombra.

**Sombra : **We`re just fans :)

**Angela : **Of who??

**Reaper : **Everyone that isn`t Jack or Jesse.

**Lena : **eyy like the rest of us

**Lena : **screw them

**Lena : **but not really cause that`s too straight for me

**Sombra : **Is she ok?

**Angela : **I don`t think she ever is, to be honest.

**Angela : **How someone like her got a girlfriend before I did, I`ll never know.

**Genji : **@Angela I found Brig

**Genji : **She passed out in the snow

**Sombra : **Out of tiredness, anger, or shock?

**Lena : **knowing her probably all three

**Genji : **She`ll be fine, heading inside.

**Angela : **You`re just going to leave her?

**Genji : **Well, go and be my guest and wake her up

**Angela : **Point taken.

**Lena : **@angela @angela @angela @angela @angela @angela @angela @angela @angela @angela can i go see the fluffy before I pass out

**Angela : **You seem calmer

**Angela : **Like a happy drunk

**Lena : **yeye im happy :D

**Angela : **I don`t see why not

**Lena : **k thanks

**Genji : **OMg loook it`s chilling on the sofa

**Genji : ***Photo*

**Lena : **oma goddd that`s awesome

**Lena : **I`m coming

**Angela : **she 

**Angela : **she just blinked out of the rope

**Lena : **yeye

**Angela : **why didn`t you just do that to begin with??

**Lena : **cause then id have to go outside to see the floof

**Reaper : **I don`t think that makes sense.

**Lena : **yeyah it does

**Genji : **LOOK AT IT IT`S ROLLING LIKE A LIL SONIC

**Reaper : **What`s a sonic?

**Genji : **God you`re old

**Sombra : **Why don`t you call it sonic then?

**Genji : **Oh yeahh I forgot they need names

**Sombra : **You forget alot of things apparently

**Lena : **that aren`t your phone

**Genji : **Can you stop?

**Angela : **What if it`s a girl?

**Genji : **Well then we`ll call her girl sonic

**Angela : **I feel bad for the poor thing already.

**Genji : **How do we find out its gender anyways?

**Lena : **YOU GOTTA LOOK FOR THE DICK

**Angela : **NO

**Reaper : **Yes.

**Angela : **But you don`t just turn it over and look at its d

**Angela : **That`s rude.

**Reaper : **But its a cat.

**Angela : **Put it this way

**Angela : **Would you like it if I turned you over and looked at your d?

**Reaper : **Yes.

**Sombra : **No :(

**Angela : **ew

**Genji : **I don`t see it.

**Lena : **gimme

**Lena : **i have more experience around them then you n im a lesbian

**Lena : **aww it`s so fluffy

**Reaper : **Jesus.

**Reaper : **Can`t we just turn it into a rug or something?

**Lena : **rugs can`t purr you fool

**Lena : **therefore cats are better then rugs

**Genji : **Find anything

**Lena : **lol nah

**Lena : **tbf has anyone here actually seen a cat dick

**Angela : **Fair point.

**Genji : **Maybe it doesn`t have one then?

**Angela : **That means it`s a girl :)

**Genji : **Oh.

**Genji : **Is having huge ass nips a side effect of being a girl?

**Lena : **nahhh 

**Lena : **i mean have you seen roadhog

**Lena : **holy crumpets

**Lena : **his are bigger then pharmercys combined

**Angela : **Pharmercy???

**Lena : **is a ship name

**Lena : **for you boo

**Angela : **Ship???

**Angela : **Like the things that float?

**Angela : **I don`t own a boat.

**Lena : **god youre so oooooold

**Lena : **oh hey

**Lena : **he wasn`t kidding these are some huge ass nips

**Genji : **How do we solve this nip problem?

**Lena : **dunt worry i have experience with huge ass nips

**Lena : **lemme see

**Angela : **This chat has been open for a few days and i`ve already lost the will to live

**Lena : **ok yeah it`s a girl

**Genji : **Girl sonic it is then.

**Angela : **NO

**Genji : **DON`T DENY ME ANGELA

**Angela : **YOU`RE NOT CALLING YOUR CAT GIRL SONIC

**Genji : **WELL WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST THEN

**Lena : **can you stop yelling

**Angela : **Damnit Lena we`ve been over this

**Lena : **wait wait i got an idea

**Lena : **@jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse @jesse can you be not asleep please

**Angela : **THAT BLOWS UP ALL OUR PHONES LENA STFU 

**Lena : **:(

**Lena : **can yall not use caps lock it hurts my poor ears

**Reaper : **What? You can`t hear caps lock??

**Lena : **m special ok?

**Jesse : **Howdy

**Jesse : **Someone needs me for something??

**Reaper : **That was quick.

**Reaper : **Were you asleep?

**Jesse : **Justice never sleeps

**Jesse : **SO NEITHER DO I :D

**Angela : **I don`t think that`s healthy,

**Angela : **and weren`t you in a gang once?

**Angela : **That`s like to opposite of justice

**Jesse : **I just got here cause someone wanted me and you`re already questioning my entire life

**Jesse : **wooooooooow

**Lena : **is ok jesse ily

**Jesse : **:O

**Jesse : **really?????

**Lena : **yea but m coffee high so it doesn`t really matter

**Lena : **i`ll probably hate you come morning

**Jesse : **I swear to god

**Jesse : **should I just leave???

**Reaper : **No, don`t

**Reaper : **I haven`t had a chance to bully you yet.

**Jesse : **I`M LEAVING

**Lena : **wait wait wait we need you though

**Jesse : **Really?

**Lena : **lmao no

**Genji : **Why did you invite him them???

**Lena : **he`s a nerd

**Lena : **he might have some good ideas

**Jesse : **hey now, I`m not that bad

**Sombra : **nah you totally are

**Sombra : **you cosplay as a cowboy 24/7

**Jesse : **It`s not a cosplay!

**Sombra : **Exactly.

**Sombra : **You`ve become so engrossed in your cosplay that it`s become your actual life

**Jesse : **BRUH

**Jesse : **Can I not be judged for 2 minutes

**Sombra : **Sure, clock`s ticking ;)

**Jesse : **ok what do yall want?

**Genji : **You`re nerdy, give us some names

**Jesse : **for what???

**Lena : **a fluffy

**Angela : **(a cat)

**Jesse : **but we have so many of those already D:

**Genji : **One more isn`t going to kill anyone.

**Jesse : **It might.

**Jesse : **Remember when Fareeha stood on one by accident?

**Genji : **Fair point.

**Jesse : **Call it Bob

**Jesse : **I miss the big fella :(

**Angela : **A) It`s a girl,

**Angela : **B) If you miss him so much, go and visit him

**Jesse : **A) Irrelevant 

**Jesse : **B) Can`t, i`ll have to see cray b irl again

**Genji : **@angela you didn`t tell him?

**Genji : **lmao

**Jesse : **????

**Angela : **Me, Fareeha and Genji all miss Ashe, so she`s coming to visit us on base at the weekend.

**Jesse : **SHE WHAT

**Genji : **Don`t worry,

**Genji : **Bob`s coming too

**Jesse : **But he`s never gonna leave her side!

**Angela : **You can go hide in the closet if you want

**Reaper : **Not like he hasn`t done that before.

**Jesse : **fiiiiine

**Jesse : **but go send bob my way

**Genji : **So, we`re calling my cat Bob?

**Jesse : **Yes.

**Angela : **NO

**Jesse : **Why not?

**Lena : **yee haw boy are you gonna be useful or not

**Jesse : **I am

**Lena : **lmao

**Jesse : **what about

**Jesse : **hm

**Jesse : **Princess Daisy

**Jesse : **she my mario kart main :D

**Genji : **Too long.

**Jesse : **You know what else is too long? ;)

**Lena : **the cats nips

**Jesse : **what

**Genji : **What??

**Reaper : **What.

**Lena : **ey you seen those things

**Lena : **they droopin

**Lena : **not my fault

**Jesse : **um

**Jesse : **Alyx??

**Genji : **Who tf spells alex like that??

**Genji : **Plus, we already have an alex.

**Genji : **And she kinda wants to kill me sooo

**Lena : **alot of people wanna kill you robro

**Lena : **be more specific

**Jesse : **We have an alyx?

**Angela : **we do??

**Genji : **Aleksandra 

**Angela : **Who`s Aleksandra???

**Genji : **The racist??

**Jesse : **Zarya?

**Genji : **yeah

**Jesse : **Ok but tbf who here actually knew that was her name

**Lena : **lol we suck

**Lena : **we don`t even know our agents names

**Angela : **Zarya works for us??????

**Lena : **ye

**Lena : **and that just proves my point more

**Jesse : **Yeah, we suck.

**Lena : **aww yeah jesse "sucks"

**Jesse : **oi I thought you weren`t allowed to bully me :(

**Sombra : **It`s already been 2 minutes :)

**Lena : **yayyy

**Jesse : **aww :(

**Jesse : **um

**Genji : **Know any nerdy cat names?

**Jesse : **ALRIGHT DON`T RUSH ME

**Jesse : **Kitty

**Jesse : **Angel

**Jesse : **Frumpkin

**Jesse : **Hana

**Jesse : **Cloud

**Jesse : **ok m dry

**Angela : **Ok so we can all agree that we`re not naming it Hana

**Genji : **???

**Genji : **Why not?

**Angela : **Hana??

**Jesse : **Yeah, but Hana`s small and cute.

**Jesse : **Like a cat.

**Angela : **But

**Angela : **How would Brigitte react if you named a cat after her gf?

**Genji : **Why don`t we find out?

**Genji : **I`m calling it Hana.

**Angela : **Genji, no :(

**Genji : **whatttt???

**Angela : **@brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte @brigitte READ THE CHAT

**Jesse : **Oh damn

**Brigitte : **BITCH

**Brigitte : **TAKE IT BACK GENJI

**Brigitte : **AND WHO LEFT ME OUTSIDE IN THE SNOW??????

**Angela : **Genji.

**Brigitte : **BITCH

**Brigitte : **REPENT FOR YOUR SINS 

**Genji : **M SORRY

**Genji : **PLEASE DON`T HURT ME

**Lena : **help

**Reaper : **What does any of this have to do with the cat??

**Brigitte : **Oh yeahh

**Brigitte : **What did you name it?

**Angela : **We don`t know yet.

**Brigitte : **But it takes like 2 seconds to name a cat

**Brigitte : **It`s not that hard just pick one

**Genji : **But it`s hard

**Brigitte : **JUST PICK ONE 

**Genji : **AH

**Genji : **FRUMPKIN

**Genji : **WHAT EVEN IS A FRUMPKIN

**Brigitte : **There, that wasn`t so hard :)

**Jesse :** It`s from Critical Role.

**Genji :** Sounds nerdy

**Reaper :** Sounds dumb.

**Angela : **It is dumb.

**Jesse : **OI

**Jesse : **You can insult me all you want

**Jesse : **but not my religion

**Angela :** It`s a nerdy thing.

**Angela :** Ashe got him into it.

**Reaper :** Wait, so they`re both nerds?

**Lena :** yea

**Reaper :** Yikes.

**Jesse :** She showed this one oneshot they did with Hale in it,

**Jesse :** Think she had a crush or something not gonna lie

**Lena :** ey you can`t talk

**Jesse :** Yeah, I ain`t gonna lie

**Jesse** **: **The dm is THICC

**Jesse :** Would smash

**Genji :** Please don`t tell me Frumpkin`s the dm.

**Jesse :** LMAO

**Jesse :** nah you good bro

**Genji : **So, I have a cat now.

**Genji : **That`s a thing.

**Lena : **yeye 

**Lena : **gnight

**Genji : **um

**Genji : **Night?

**Genji : **WAIT NOT THERE

**Angela : **????

**Genji : **She passed out on the couch

**Genji : **with the cat

**Jesse : ***Frumpkin

**Genji : **yeah that

**Genji : ***Photo*

**Jesse : **What do we do now???

**Jesse : **Do we move her?

**Genji : **Which one?

**Jesse : **Tracer.

**Angela : **That sounds like a very bad idea

**Reaper : **Exactly.

**Reaper : **Do it.

**Angela : **NO

**Genji : **BUT I WANNA PET THE CAT

**Jesse : **YEAH DOC WE JUST WANNA PET FRUMPKIN

**Jesse : **WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO SELFISH

**Angela : **The cat is part of Lena now.

**Angela : **Just leave them alone.

**Genji : **aww now the cat`s fallen asleep

**Jesse : **I ship it

**Genji : **ew.

**Genji : **you`re a nerd AND a furry?

**Jesse : **wait no

**Angela : **Again, what`s a ship??

**[Doomfist has entered the chat]**

**Doomfist : **Sombra.

**Doomfist : **I told you to stop inviting me to stuff, I`m busy.

**Reaper : **Yeah but,

**Reaper : **Look at the chat.

**Doomfist : **You too??

**Doomfist : **I thought you were "too cool" to hang out with Sombra.

**Sombra : **REAPER

**Sombra : **YOU SAID THAT ABOUT ME?

**Doomfist : **Yes.

**Reaper : **I told you that in confidence!

**Reaper : **You said you wouldn`t say anything to her.

**Sombra : **wooooow

**Sombra : **Here i am, at 4am, trying to make tacos

**Sombra : **And I was gonna come and give you one 

**Sombra : **BUT NOOOOOO

**Doomfist : **It was pretty rude of you.

**Sombra : **Widow`s down here

**Sombra : **She called you a bitch

**Sombra : **Now she`s having your taco, suck it

**Reaper : **Damn.

**Doomfist : **Anyways,

**Doomfist : **Did I walk in on something?

**Jesse : **nah bruh you good

**Doomfist : **??

**Doomfist : **New recruit?

**Jesse : **fer what

**Reaper : **Akande

**Reaper : **Look at the chat name

**Doomfist : **Overwatch????

**Jesse : **lol yeah that`s me

**Angela : **Welcome, "Doomfist" :D

**Doomfist : **They don`t know???

**Sombra : **Yeah :)

**Doomfist : **Um, ok?

**Reaper : **They`re pretty dumb.

**Jesse : **ey ey I ain`t dumb

**Genji : **you are pretty dumb tbf

**Brigitte : **The one person stupider then Genji

**Genji : **OI

**Jesse : **hey now >:(

**Doomfist : **Sooo,

**Doomfist : **Hi, Overwatch.

**Jesse : **What kind of a name is Doomfist anyway?

**Doomfist : **A cool one.

**Jesse : **lmao no

**Jesse : **Reaper is unoriginal, but atleast it doesn`t suck

**Reaper : **Thanks.

**Doomfist : **Listen here you little shit.

**Doomfist : **Doomfist is a cool name.

**Doomfist : **Anyone who says otherwise is getting seismic slammed

**Jesse : **LMAO

**Jesse : **YOU NAME YOUR ATTACKS TOO

**Jesse : **What a loser.

**Doomfist : **...

**Sombra : **Oh snap

**Doomfist : **Sombra, send Widowmaker up to my office, I have a mission for her.

**Reaper : **RIP cowboy

**Jesse : **???

**Sombra : **But it`s 4am

**Sombra : **She`s getting pretty intimate with a taco atm

**Doomfist : **It`s important.

**[Jack has entered the chat]**

**Jack : **Hey Zen, I`m back.

**Zenyatta : **Greetings.

**Sombra : **Hola, Jack :)

**Doomfist : **Ah yes, Jack.

**Doomfist : **We meet again

**Jack : **...

**Jack : **WHAT THE FUCK.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never said the cat was for Brigitte ;)


	4. Widowmaker has friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So as it turns out, some people actually like Widow.  
And everyone hates Reaper.  
Plus, Jack has to learn to play nice with his new friends.  
By exposing one them! :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, can`t put accents in names anymore (Torbjorn, Lucio) so that`s a thing.  
I don`t think that`s gonna trigger anyone, but might as well mention it.

**Reaper : **Hey.

**Reaper : **Does anyone know who this random person walking around our base is?

**Hana : **Does some random person walking around your base worry you?

**Reaper : **Kind of, yes.

**Hana : **It shouldn`t,

**Hana : **I found this giant robot in my closet this weekend

**Hana : **Said his name was Bob and he was looking for Jesse

**Jesse : **So that`s where he went 

**Jesse : **How did he mix up downstairs with upstairs?

**Ashe : **HAY

**Ashe : **Don`t you even dare slightly insult Bob

**Jesse : **I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI TO HIM ASHE

**Jesse : **IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK

**Ashe : **YEAH IT IS

**Jesse : **FUCK YOU

**Ashe : **DO IT COWARD YOU WON`T

**Lena : **@Angela They`re doing it again :(

**Angela : **I think this Lena might be broken.

**Angela : **Can we get a new one?

**Lena : **Brb gotta go fix myself

**Hana : **With what?

**Lena : **Coffee

**[Lena has left the chat]**

**Angela : **oh

**Angela : **hell no.

**Angela : **I`ll be right back.

**[Angela has left the chat]**

**Reaper : **What does this have to do with this stranger walking around base?

**Jesse : **That`s none of your business what they`re doing around your base

**Jesse : **Don`t worry about it

**Reaper : **What if they`re a spy or something?

**Hana : **What if they`re not?

**Reaper : **But what if they are ?

**Hana : **But what if they`re notttttttt?

**Jesse : **Don`t just assume they`re a spy

**Jesse : **That`s pretty rude >:(

**Reaper : **But what if they are??

**Ashe : **BUT WHAT IF THEY`RE NOT, EDGELORD

**Ashe : **EVER CONSIDER THAT

**Ashe : **DON`T BE SO DIDDLY DARN RUDE

**[Angela has entered the chat]**

**Angela : **I fixed Lena again

**[Lena has entered the chat]**

**Lena : **Yep! :D

**Jesse : **um

**Jesse : **what did you do to her??

**Angela : **I like to call it "the nice version of brainwashing"

**Hana : **Can I have some?

**Lena : **She gave me a pill! :D

**Hana : **ok nvm she`s just high

**Reaper : **Anyone want to help with the stranger problem?

**Ana : **Well, how are we supposed to know what this person knows like?

**Ana : **Send us a picture.

**Reaper : **Um.

**Reaper : **I don`t know how.

**Ana : **Wow.

**Ana : **Even I know how to do that.

**Ana : ***Photo*

**Lucio : **Is that your elbow?

**Ana : **I thought I was taking a picture of my face.

**Fareeha : **Damn mom

**Fareeha : **You`ve changed

**Fareeha : **New haircut? :)

**Ana : **I have, actually.

**Ana : **Wait.

**Ana : **>:(

**Lucio ****: **Here`s a good looking photo!

**Lucio : ***Photo*

**Angela : **Is that your merch?

**Lucio : **Why yes it is!

**Lucio : **Thanks for noticing :D

**Lucio : **Available for just a small fee on my website! 

**Ashe : **I DIDN`T JOIN THIS CHAT FOR ADS, CITY BOY

**Ashe : **PRETTY SURE I GOT AIDS, THOUGH

**Ashe : **CLOSE ENOUGH

**Jesse : **Sure that ain`t just from one of the many people you`ve screwed?

**Ashe : **Well atleast I get some

**Hanzo : **I`m right here.

**Ashe : **my b Hanzo

**Ashe : **Screw the cowboy if you really wanna

**Ashe : **Just don`t remind me

**Reaper : **Guys.

**Reaper : **Random person in base.

**Reaper : **Help.

**Hanzo : **Have you tried talking with them?

**Hanzo : **That is what most people would do.

**Reaper : **Yeah, no.

**Reaper : **Talking to people in real life isn`t my strong suit.

**Reaper : **Besides, they might be a spy.

**Jesse : **What did we say about assuming people are spies >:(

**Reaper : **WELL WHAT DO I DO??

**Sombra : **About what??

**Reaper : **About the stranger walking around our base

**Sombra : **Ohhh

**Sombra : **Yeah, I talked to her

**Sombra : **We had tacos

**Sombra : **Because she isn`t TOO COOL TO HANG OUT WITH ME

**Reaper : **I said I was sorry.

**Sombra : **Doesn`t matter 

**Sombra : **I thought we were besties :(

**Reaper : **Sooo

**Reaper : **You know who she is?

**Sombra : **Why should I tell you traitor >:(

**Reaper : **They could be evil?

**Sombra : **We`re evil

**Sombra : **The hell you talking about

**Reaper : **Fine

**Reaper : **I don`t need your help

**Jesse : **Describe em maybe?

**Jesse : **Then we might have some idea who yer talking about

**Ashe : ***yer*

**Jesse : **YERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

**Ashe : **YERRRRRRRRRRRRRR CRAZY

**Hana : **Can YER NOT 

**Reaper : **Can we please just talk about the spy?

**Jesse : **Stop ASSUMING

**Reaper : **The stranger then.

**Sombra : **My new bestie

**Brigitte : **:O

**Brigitte : **But I though WE were besties D:

**Sombra : **I`ve moved on

**Brigitte : **gasp

**Brigitte : **=(

**Brigitte : **Gonna go sad nap now

**[Brigitte has left the chat]**

**Hana : **Damnit Sombra

**Hana : **I`m legally obligated as her gf to check up on her

**Jesse : **Part of the agreement?

**Hana : **lol yeah

**[Hana has left the chat]**

**Reaper : **Moving on

**Reaper : **For starters, she`s blue

**Sombra : **So, Widow?

**Jesse : **Problem solved!

**Jesse : **That was easy

**Sombra : **Nah that ain`t widow

**Lena : **Maybe it`s a clone!

**Reaper : **@Moira? Have you been cloning people?

**Jesse : **NO

**Moira : **No, I would remember making another blue person.

**Angela : **AH

**Genji : **NO

**Ashe : **EWWWWWW

**Moira : **Hm?

**Ashe : **WHY IN THE DIDDLY DARN YOU WOULD INVITE MOIRA

**Moira : **What`s wrong with me?

**Angela : **What isn`t?

**Angela : **You`ve tortured poor people "in the name of science"

**Angela : **You`ve betrayed overwatch

**Jesse : **Not to mention yer just annoying

**Genji : **Agreed.

**Moira : **It`s been 15 years!

**Moira : **I`ve changed!

**Ashe : **How??????

**Moira : **For one, I`ve adopted a son 

**Doomfist : **Ignore the fact he`s older then her.

**Reaper : **How long has you been here?

**Doomfist : **I like to observe.

**Doomfist : **I also want to know about this blue person on our base.

**Ashe : **Yee but

**Ashe : **Moira

**Moira : **His name is Sigma and he`ll kick your ass

**Angela : **Have you improved in any other way?

**Genji : **Are you any less of a weeb?

**Jesse : **Yer one to talk Genji

**Genji : **Shut up Jesse

**Ashe : **yeah shut up jesse

**Moira : **Yes Jesse, shut up

**Ashe : **EW YOU JUST RUINED IT

**Genji : **Yeah shut up Moira

**Moira : **???????

**Ashe : **ALL IN FAVOR OF CONTINUING TO DISOWN MOIRA SAY I

**Ashe : **I

**Jesse : **I 

**Genji : **I

**Angela : **I

**Lena : **I

**Lucio : **I

**Hanzo : **I.

**Reaper : **I 

**Moira : **Fine!

**Moira : **I don`t need you guys anyway

**Moira : **I have Sombra :)

**Sombra : **I

**Moira : **WTF?! 

**Reaper : **So, where did the blue lady come from?

**Angela : **Well,

**Angela : **When a mummy and daddy love eachother...

**Angela : **:)

**Ashe : **They FUCK

**Jesse : **ew

**Sombra : **She`s not even blue :p

**Sombra : **She`s WEARING blue

**Sombra : **lmao

**Doomfist :** Reaper. Really?

**Reaper :** Hey, it`s hard to see with a mask on.

**[Jack has entered the chat]**

**Jack :** I have an announcement to make.

**Reaper : **Heyyy, Jack.

**Jack : **@Zenyatta?

**Zenyatta : **Greetings.

**Jack : **I gave you one rule.

**Jack : **And you managed to not notice the enemy enter the chat?

**Zenyatta : **You said:

**Zenyatta : **"Make sure Overwatch secrets are not exposed"

**Zenyatta : **You never said anything about adding the enemy into the chat.

**Jack : **I thought that was obvious enough that I wouldn`t have to point it out.

**Zenyatta : **No secrets have been exposed.

**Zenyatta : **Checkmate, Bitch.

**Zenyatta : **I mean

**Zenyatta : **Peace be upon you.

**Sombra : **Yeah!

**Sombra : **If I wanted your secrets, I could just

**Sombra : **Get them

**Doomfist : **You can do that?

**Sombra : **Si :)

**Doomfist : **Well, do that then?

**Sombra : **hmmm

**Sombra : **Maybe later

**Sombra : **It`s fun this way

**Ashe : **YEE NAW YOU GUYS ARE GETTING BORING

**Genji : **Agreed.

**Genji : **Let`s talk about fun stuff :D

**Genji : ***Photo*

**Genji : **Frumpkin has become the pride of my life :D

**Jesse : **It`s been 5 days.

**Ashe : **And yet it`s only taken me 5 SECONDS to fall in love with it

**Ashe : **Nice to see you finally happy pal

**Genji : **Thank you.

**[Hana has entered the chat]**

**Hana : **Brigitte passed out so I`m back here

**Hana : **hey

**Angela : **Hello :)

**Reaper : **Boring

**Reaper : **We could spend the time wisely

**Reaper : **By bullying Jack

**Jack : **I SAID, Zen,

**Jack : **They can stay

**Jack : **Only if I don`t have to put up with Gabe`s bs

**Jesse : **Who`s Gabe?

**Jesse : **I knew a Gabe

**Jesse : **He trained me, even though he was a dick I liked him

**Jesse : **He was like a dad to me

**Jesse : **I miss him ;-;

**Ashe : **ew emotions

**Jesse : **ew Ashe

**Jack : **Wait, you don`t know??

**Jesse : **bout what

**Jack : **Reaper and Gabe?

**Jesse : **no

**Jesse : **Were they friends?

**Jack : **Reaper?

**Reaper : **Listen Jack

**Reaper : **I`ve been a dick

**Reaper : **but that`s too far

**Jack : **I`M GONNA DO IT

**Reaper : **JACK DON`T YOU FUCKING DARE

**Jack : **@JESSE

**Ashe : **This is getting intense

**Hana : **I`m streaming this

**Jack : **REAPER

**Jack : **IS

**Jesse : **Gay?

**Ashe : **Your long lost brother?

**Lena : **BRITISH?!

**Lena : **I need more british friends

**Lena : **here`s praying

**Jack : **GABRIEL REYES

**Lena : **Damnit

**Ashe : **well gee howdy

**Hana : **top 10 anime plot twists

**Ashe : **That joke is SO overused

**Hana : **no u

**Ashe : **no U

**Hana : **NO U

**Ashe : **UNO

**Hana : **:o

**Angela : **Can you not.

**Jesse : **OMG DAD

**Jesse : **WE HAVE SO MUCH TO CATCH UP ON

**Jesse : **I DRESS LIKE A COWBOY 

**Jesse : **WELL MORE THEN I USED TO ANYWAYS

**Jesse : **I`M SO HAPPY 

**[Jesse has been kicked from the chat]**

**Reaper : **JACK WHY

**Jack : **Because fuck you that`s why

**Ashe : **Who kicked him??

**Hanzo : **I did.

**Hanzo : **i`m going to check on him, make sure he`s ok.

**Ashe : **damn you ain`t my boyfriend but you sure are a good one

**Ashe : **even if it`s for jesse

**Hanzo : **Thank you. :)

**[Hanzo has left the chat]**

**Reaper : **I think she saw me

**Angela : **Who??

**Reaper : **The spy.

**Ashe : **WHAT DID WE SAY BOUT ASSUMING SOMEONE`S SPY STATUS DAD MCCREE

**Reaper : **Don`t ever call me that.

**Jack : **Aww, Dadcree is getting angry!

**Reaper : **DON`T

**Moira : **I like Dadcree :)

**Genji : **C`mon Moira you just ruined Dadcree for me

**Genji : **Good job

**Moira : **???????????????????????????

**Moira : **I swear you guys just hate it because I say it

**Angela : **Yes!

**Ashe : **Basically

**Genji : **No point in hiding it

**Moira : **aonfabdoufanoboabvnabvuoboasjufbasjofdfuckkanfoafnoabdf

**Reaper : **I think she wants to talk to me?

**Doomfist : **I doubt it.

**Doomfist : **No one ever wants to talk to you, Reaper.

**Reaper : **Aww, Doomfist

**Reaper : **I needed to hear that.

**Jack : **Guys.

**Jack : **I still have an announcement to make, so be quiet.

**Lucio : **How can we be quiet?

**Lucio : **It`s not like you can hear words

**Lena : **Speak for yourself! :D

**Lucio : **Ok what

**Jack : **Just 

**Jack : **Stop typing

**Angela : **You have about a 5 second window before they start spewing nonsense again 

**Jack : **One of our agents hasn`t reported in today.

**Jack : **I need someone to find out where they are.

**Ashe : **HOLY SHIT

**Ashe : **I think I just killed one of my guys

**Angela : **aaaand it`s gone

**Ashe : ***Photo*

**Lena : **Woah!

**Lena : **That isn`t very PG family friendly of you!

**Reaper : **Yep. He`s dead.

**Angela : **Why did you kill him??

**Ashe : **He`s the one who gets our post n shit

**Ashe : **And he messed up mine and Bob`s matching Halloween costumes

**Ashe : **Then Bob got super sad

**Hana : **And HOW did you kill him?

**[Widowmaker has entered the chat]**

**Ashe : **I`d call it

**Ashe : **Giving him a little nudge

**Widowmaker : **Nudge?

**Widowmaker : **Tell me more.

**Ashe : **with a name like that i`d let you nudge me any day ;)

**Widowmaker : **Hm.

**Widowmaker : **American?

**Ashe : **Ye?

**Widowmaker : **Thought so.

**Reaper : **Widow.

**Reaper : **Do you know who this random person on base is?

**Widowmaker : **I can`t see through walls, be more specific.

**Sombra : **You kinda can.

**Widowmaker : **Shut up Sombra.

**Sombra : **:(

**Reaper : **Tall, dark, wearing blue?

**Widowmaker : **Sounds like my +1.

**Reaper : **What`s that?

**Sombra : **Widow, you weren`t supposed to say anything!

**Widowmaker : **Oops.

**Sombra : **Everyone on base gets to invite 1 friend onto base

**Sombra : **except you

**Sombra : **Doomfist was scared you`d bring in another edgelord

**Doomfist : **It`s true.

**Sombra : **I literally had Brigitte on base yesterday and you didn`t bat an eye

**Reaper : **WHAT

**Reaper : **THAT`S NOT FAIRRR

**Hana : **aww dadcree is having a fit

**Reaper : **No I`m not

**Reaper : **Shut up

**Doomfist : **Don`t be so rude.

**Doomfist : **Go to your room.

**Reaper : **BUT DOOOOOOM

**Doomfist : **No buts

**Reaper : **D:<

**Sombra : **But more importantly,

**Sombra : **Widow has friends?

**Widowmaker : **Kind of.

**Widowmaker : **She is my girlfriend, Satya, and she wanted to see where I work.

**Sombra : **WHAT

**Sombra : **The girl who can`t feel things getting more action then me :(

**Doomfist : **Wasn`t expecting that

**Jack : **Isn`t that the missing agent?

**Angela : **Seriously Jack why do all these randoms suddenly work with overwatch

**Jack : **idfk

**Jack : **They just show up on our doorstep

**Moira : **But,

**Moira : **You can`t feel emotions??

**Widowmaker : **Yes.

**Widowmaker : **It turns out you can`t do anything right, Moira.

**Widowmaker : **I can still feel hatred towards you.

**Genji : **Don`t we all?

**Angela : **Welcome to the Moira hate club

**Moira : **I can fix you if you want.

**Ashe : **Don`t listen to her she`ll fuck you up even more.

**Widowmaker : **I`m good.

**Moira : **Are you sure?

**Ashe : **YES

**Ashe : **JUST LET HER FEEL THE LOVE, MAN

**Moira : **fiiiiiiine

**Moira : **But can you guys stop bullying me?

**Ashe : **No

**Genji : **No

**Widowmaker : **Never.

**[Moira has left the chat]**

**Ashe :** WE DID IT BOYS

**Ashe : **MOIRA IS NO MORE

**[Jesse has entered the chat]**

**Ashe : **god damnit

**[Hanzo has entered the chat]**

**Hanzo : **I think he`s calmed down.

**Jesse : **Howdy

**Reaper : **Good.

**Jesse : **hanzo i changed my mind

**Hanzo : **Please don`t.

**Jesse : **DAD I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU

**Reaper : **NO

**Reaper : **YOU`LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE

**[Reaper has left the chat]**

**Jesse : **DAD NO D:

**Genji : **Don`t worry Jesse, have a Frumpkin.

**Genji : ***Photo*

**Jesse : **NOT IN THE MOOD FOR FLUFFY

**Ashe : **YOU DARE SAY THAT TO FRUMPKIN

**Ashe : **I DON`T CARE WHO YOU ARE

**Ashe : **YOU LOOK AT THAT FLUFFY AND DIGEST IT 

**Jesse : **FUCK THE FLUFFY

**Genji : **Please don`t.

**Genji : **Anyone who wants to touch the cat needs to speak to her cyborg bestie first

**Ashe : **Genji gimme permission to beat up Jesse for your cat`s honor

**Genji : **Granted :)

**Ashe : **LET`S GO, COUNTRY BOY

**[Ashe has left the chat]**

**Jesse : **darn

**Jesse : **Hanzo help

**Hanzo : **I don`t know.

**Hanzo : **I think I want to see this.

**[Hanzo has left the chat]**

**Jesse : **Well shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, does anyone have any idea what Town Of Salem is? I want to make a chapter where a bunch of them play a game, and I thought Salem might be cool :p. But if you have any other games you wanna see, let me know.
> 
> Also, I'm not sure if this is because I'm the author (but I have tried it while not logged in and got the same result) but I don't think the story comes up as recently updated? As in, not many people will see it. If anyone could confirm or deny this that would be awesome :)


	5. 20XX : 15 Years Ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Reyes have another argument.  
And we get to see what Amelie was like before she came a heartless sniper! :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the name (20XX) is from [Overchat Result : Failure] cause I`m unoriginal so thanks to them :D
> 
> This chat will usually consist of:  
Ana, Reyes, Jack, Amelie (Widowmaker but less widow-y), Angela and sometimes other minor characters  
Also: Check out the new Mercy lore, Valkyrie if you haven't already  
It's a good read :)

**[Overwatch Missions Chat]**

**Reyes : **We need to take a vote.

**Reyes : **Jack`s being irrational.

**Ana : **When isn`t Jack being irrational?

**Jack : **Hey!

**Jack : **I just think your idea is stupid

**Reyes : **Can you come up with a better one?

**Jack : **um

**Amelie : **Atleast he`s smart enough to be able to come up with an idea! =)

**Jack : **??

**Jack : **Why is there a civilian in our missions room?

**Amelie : **Rude 

**Amelie : **No need to bring up the civilian card baby

**Reyes : **She`s still a valued member of this team even if she`s a civilian.

**Reyes : **More respected then you anyways

**Amelie : **Thanks boo

**Amelie : **Now what`s this vote we need to take?

**Reyes : **Overwatch needs a theme song.

**Amelie : **Well obviously 

**Jack : **No it doesn`t 

**Ana : **YES IT DOES

**Ana : **Picture us walking into battle

**Ana : **And then from behind you hear

**Amelie : **IF YOU WERE GAY

**Amelie : **THAT`D BE OKAY

**Amelie : **BECAUSE HEY

**Amelie : **I LIKE YOU ANYWAY 

**Amelie : **God I love that song

**Ana : **Not what I was gonna say.

**Angela : **But you have to admit, 

**Angela : **It works just as well

**Jack : **Yeah but Reyes` idea scares me 

**Reyes : **You should be scared.

**Reyes : **That`s the point of the song

**Angela : **So it`s already working.

**Angela : **Damn it Reyes you`re a genus!

**Reyes : **Thank you.

**Jack : **Suck up.

**Angela : **You`re a suck up >:(

**Angela : **Vincent told me

**Jack : **:o

**Jack : **I see how it is Vincent

**Jack : **Someone tell him the netflix and chill session tonight is off

**Reyes : **Ew

**Angela : **Ew

**Jack : **Yeah that`s right I have a love life 

**Jack : **More then any of you can say for yourselves >:)

**Amelie : **yellow

**Amelie : **I`m right here 

**Jack : **You don`t count 

**Amelie : **:o

**Amelie : **That is RUDE

**Ana : **@Jack Vincent said the picnic`s off

**Jack : **aww :(

**Jack : **Was looking forward to that

**Reyes : **Well I`m looking forward to having a MO FUCKIGN THEME SONG

**Jack : **We are NOT having a theme song

**Amelie : **But why nottt?

**Jack : **Why do you care? You don`t even work for us

**Amelie : **I wanna know what song is gonna get stuck in my head

**Amelie : **Better be banging

**Jack : **You haven`t even heard Reyes` suggestion yet

**Amelie : **I`m listening

**Reyes : **Okay.

**Angela : **If it`s not I`m a barbie girl I`m rioting

**Ana : **I`ll get the spare pitchforks

**Angela : **Thanks :)

**Reyes : **Wake me up inside

**Jack : **See?

**Jack : **He`s crazy

**Amelie : **My god

**Reyes : **Is that a good my god

**Amelie : **Depends

**Amelie : **Is me losing more respect for you a good thing in your eyes?

**Amelie : **Get that edgy bs out of here Gabe

**Ana : **same

**Reyes : **Don`t talk to me like that >:(

**Reyes : **I could have you fired

**Amelie : **Good luck with that boo

**Reyes : **Wait.

**Reyes : **shit

**Ana : **Vincent says he likes it

**Jack : **Yeah well Vincent`s opinion is invalid

**Amelie : **Jesus are you alright Jack :(

**Jack : **What do you mean?

**Amelie : **You and Vincent are always arguing nowadays

**Angela : **Yeah, I`ve never seen you guys on good terms with eachother :p

**Ana : **But this is your first week on base Angela??

**Angela : **Oh wait yeah

**Angela : **I think Genji, Jesse and Ashe have given me immunity to other people bs

**Angela : **So i`m used to being around weirdos

**Amelie : **Kudos to that :)

**Amelie : **But seriously Jack

**Jack : **We`re just going through a rough path is all

**Ana : **(A 3 month rough patch)

**Angela : **They`ve only been dating for 2 months?

**Amelie : **Exactly :)

**Reyes : **Guys 

**Reyes : **Important news

**Amelie : **Whatttttt

**Reyes : **i talked to Sojourn

**Reyes : **She said "You do you" so that`s a vote for me

**Amelie : **WOOP DE FREAKING DO REYES

**Amelie : **I thought we told you no >:(

**Reyes : **But Sojourn said yes

**Reyes : **And she outranks you and so do I 

**Reyes : **Wait.

**Reyes : **You don`t even have a rank

**Amelie : **What happened to me being "a respected member of this team"?

**Ana : **That`s only for when you agree with him

**Ana : **I found that out the hard way

**Amelie : **WOW

**Amelie : **I feel robbed Gabe

**Reyes : **Of what?

**Amelie : **RESPECT

**Jack : **You could join team Jack 

**Jack : **Just to spite him 

**Amelie : **But I don`t like you either :(

**Angela : **Is there anyone here you like?

**Amelie : **Not really

**Amelie : **Gerald`s alright I guess.

**Ana : **I`d sure hope so

**Ana : **Assuming you`re married

**Jack : **(says the one trying to get a divorce)

**Angela : **What?

**Amelie : **Would would want to divorce a Canadian???

**Amelie : **They`re made entirely of maple syrup and love 

**Reyes : **Ana?

**Ana : **Oh would you look at the time

**Ana : **Looks like Fareeha needs picking up from school bye

**[Ana has left the chat]**

**Angela : **I picked Fareeha up from school hours ago.

**Reyes : **Yikes.

**Amelie : **Mom of the year 

**Amelie : **I`m a better mom and I don`t even have kids

**Reyes : **@Amelie I need you to find out if Gerald wants a theme song or not

**Jack : **Are you still on about that?

**Reyes : **No Jack.

**Reyes : **That`s why I`m ASKING 

**Amelie : **Fair point

**Jack : **>:(

**Reyes : **>:)

**Amelie : **Gerald says depends on the song

**Amelie : **He`d go for the my little ponies theme song

**Angela : **Honestly I would too

**Amelie : **No one asked

**Angela : **:(

**Jack : **I can`t believe this is an actual thing we`re debating.

**Jack : **Who`s winning?

**Reyes : **Sojourn, Vincent and me say Wake me up

**Reyes : **Amelie, Gerald and Angela say My little ponies theme

**Amelie : **So looks like Jack is the deciding vote

**Angela : **What about Ana?

**Reyes : **She`s too busy being a bad mom

**Reyes : **Choose jack.

**Jack : **Or, hear me out,

**Jack : **We don`t have a damn theme song.

**Reyes : **No.

**Amelie : **We`re too far gone for that

**Amelie : **Choose damnit

**Jack : **But I don`t like either of them.

**Jack : **So no.

**Angela : **F

**Reyes : **So they both win?

**Amelie : **yeah

**Amelie : **Let`s play both at once 

**Jack : **Wait no

**Angela : **But it`ll sound so angsty and kawaii at the same time

**Amelie : **That`s the point Angela 

**Amelie : **I love it already

**Jack : **FINE

**Jack : **Mlp just to spite Reyes

**Angela : **YES

**Angela : **This calls for some celebratory coffee

**Amelie : **Don`t you always drink coffee though?

**Angela : **Yeah

**Angela : **But this one`s special

**Reyes : **What`s mlp?

**Amelie : ***Link*

**Reyes : **Thanks.

**[Jack has left the chat]**

**Amelie : **3

**Amelie : **2

**Angela : **1

**Reyes : **WHAT IS THIS

**Reyes : **IS THAT A PONY

**Amelie : **yes

**Reyes : **Why would he choose THIS????

**Angela : **To spite you

**Reyes : **so

**Reyes : **if jack ended up in a ditch would either of you snitch

**Amelie : **Go for it man 

**Amelie : **I support you :)

**Angela : **Aren`t we supposed to report it though?

**Amelie : **Ew suckup

**Reyes : **This is why no one respects you Angela

**Angela : **:(

**Angela : **finee go for it

**Reyes : **Thanks.

**Amelie : **Just hope he doesn`t call HR

**[Reyes has left the chat]**

**Amelie : **so

**Amelie : **I would say let`s go get some coffee

**Amelie : **but you`ve already got some

**Angela : **Sooo,

**Angela : **How are you?

**Amelie : **Whoops

**Amelie : **Looks like my socializing quota is up

**Amelie : **Soooo

**[Amelie has left the chat]**

**Angela : **:(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, if you liked this chapter and want to leave a critique, please do! :D
> 
> Also, REQUESTS ARE WELCOME. Encouraged, really.  
This can range from :  
ANY ship you want included in the story (we need more!)  
A certain character you'd like to see more of/added into the chat  
(Keep in mind that all playable characters will be added soon)  
Anything specific that you want (so, anything, really.)
> 
> Also! I wanna change the title! If you have any title suggestions, PLEASE let me know :)
> 
> I`m getting used to using this site, so if you see anything weird, let me know.
> 
> Have a good day :D


	6. The case of the missing omnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which someone goes missing and McCree discovers the ultimate betrayal

**Genji : ***Photo*

**Genji : **looK at THE CHONKY CAT

**Angela : **I don`t think that`s healthy

**Angela : **Stop feeding her so much.

**Genji : **Never!

**Sombra : **Nah, I`d let him have this one

**Sombra : **that`s a pretty cute cat

**Sigma : **FLUFF

**Sombra : **Yeah, that

**Fareeha : **Who doesn`t love that cat? Me and her are like best friends

**Genji : **Excuse me I`m her best friend

**Genji : **You don`t even compare to our FRIENDSHIP

**Hana : **Nah Genji you`re more like overprotective dad

**Fareeha : **I can see that

**Reaper : **Even I can see that.

**Reaper : **And I`ve never even seen them together in my life

**Genji : **omg i`m a dad

**Genji : **that`s so cool

**Genji : **@Zenyatta look bro you`re a grandpa

**Zenyatta : **In what world am I your father?

**Genji : **:o

**Genji : **bro ;-;

**Sombra : **Can I be an auntie?

**Genji : **ew no

**Sombra : **:( 

**[Ashe has entered the chat]**

**Ashe : **ANGELA WE NEED HEALING OVER HERE

**Zenyatta : **Phew

**Hana :** F

**Angela : **You didn`t actually kill Jesse, did you?

**Jesse : **nah but she kicked my ass pretty good

**Ashe : **DAMN RIGHT

**Lucio : **Did I miss something?

**Ashe : **It`s the CITY BOY

**Lucio : **???

**Ashe : **Can you heal??

**Lucio : **Yeah why?

**Ashe : **WELL WHY DO YA THINK???

**Angela : **Yeah but who needs healing??

**Ashe : **My heart :(

**Genji : **You don`t need a doctor for that

**Genji : **Just buy some chocolates

**Genji : **Works just as well, I`d know :)

**Lena : **Or coffee!

**Angela : **Lena no

**Angela : **We`ve been over this

**Lena : **You can`t stop me >:(

**Angela : **Yeah but I`m gonna damn well try

**Angela : **It`s MINE

**Ashe : **NIEN

**Jesse : **Did someone break up with you?

**Jesse : **Poor Ashe, lez talk

**Ashe : **Even worse

**Ashe : **I lost Bob

**Jesse : **WHAT

**Jesse : **HOW COULD YOU?

**Ashe : **I KNOW D:

**Hana : **Was that the guy that came out of my closet?

**Ashe : **Bob`s gay?

**Hana : **lmao

**Hana : **not like that

**Angela : **How did you lose a giant metallic beast?

**Ashe : ***Lava Golem

**Jesse : **Um.

**Jesse : **That`s nice

**Lucio : **Yooo, golems are awesome

**Angela : **excuse me what?

**Ashe : **He went full out with his Halloween costume

**Sombra : **oooohhhh

**Sombra : **that`s what I saw on the cameras

**Sombra : **I was so confused for the longest time :p

**Lena : **I`m afraid to ask but,

**Lena : **What cameras?

**Sombra : **The ones at your base?

**Lena : **What?????

**Lena : **Please don`t tell me there`s one in my room

**Sombra : **There`s one in your room

**Lena : **damnit

**Lena : **You may have seen some things

**Lena : **Please don`t talk about them

**Sombra : **And might I say, I have alot of blackmail material

**Sombra : **Especially on Fareeha and Angela

**Sombra : **and Jesse but we don`t talk about that

**Jesse : **damn straight

**Sombra : **Well...

**Angela : **But I haven`t done anything wrong on base.

**Sombra : **There`s a camera in your room

**Fareeha : **Oh shit.

**Fareeha : **We`re screwed.

**Angela : **@Fareeha

**Angela : **Find that camera right fucking now

**Fareeha : **Already on it

**Genji : **Soo

**Genji : **Can you not spy on us?

**Sombra : **But then I`ll never be able to find cool cat moments!

**Sombra : ***Photo*

**Genji : **:o

**Ashe : **That`s adorable

**Genji : **Ok spy away

**Fareeha : **Please don`t.

**Hana : **What blackmail?

**Sombra : **I`ll tell you when you`re mature :)

**Jesse : **hey i`m older

**Jesse :** you can tell me

**Sombra : **I`ll tell you when you`re mature

**Jesse : **wait

**Jesse : **HEy 

**[Hanzo has entered the chat]**

**Hanzo : **Hello.

**Ashe : **HANZO

**Hanzo : **Yes?

**Ashe : **I LOST BOB

**Ashe : **please tell me you`ve seen him

**Jesse : **Why would Hanzo of all people know where bob is?

**Hanzo : **Sorry, the last time I saw him was last night.

**Hanzo : **Hope you find him.

**Jesse : **wh

**Jesse : **Where did you see Bob?

**Hanzo : **He was in the bar with me and Ashe.

**Jesse : **he what

**Jesse : **why were you in the bar with ashe?

**Hana : **Oh idk Jesse

**Hana : **Why would two adults go to a bar?

**Jesse : **To drink?

**Hana : **nice.

**Hana : **Now why would HANZO, and adult, and ASHE, an adult go to a bar?

**Jesse : **To drink.

**Jesse : **oh

**Jesse : **OH

**Jesse : **WTF HANZO

**Hanzo : **What?

**Jesse : **Why are you drinking with my arch nemesis??

**Jesse : **wait

**Jesse : **IS THIS WHERE YOU SNEAK OFF TO EVERY SUNDAY???

**Hanzo : **Yes.

**Jesse : **WTF

**Ashe : **Big deal

**Ashe : **We`ve been drinking buddies even before the two of you met

**Ashe : **Now about Bob

**Jesse : **NO FUCK BOB THIS IS IMPORTANT

**Ashe : **:O

**Ashe : **NO FUCK YOU BOB IS PRIORITY

**Hanzo : **Oh, be right back.

**Hanzo : **I think someone just walked in.

**Jesse : **Don`t run away from me TRAITOR

**Reaper : **My god.

**Reaper : **Stop talking.

**Jesse : **Sorry dadcree :(

**Reaper : **DON`T

**Reaper : **CALL ME THAT

**Ashe : ***Photo*

**Ashe : **Has anyone seen this giant golem??

**Fareeha : **No, but I found the camera. :)

**Sombra : **Darn.

**Angela : **Fareeha you`re my hero <3

**Fareeha : **<3

**Sombra : **It`s fine, I have enough blackmail material :)

**Fareeha : **oh

**Angela : **oh

**Lena : **You guys are screwed

**Sombra : **I have stuff on you too lena

**Lena : **ew

**Lena : **Blackmail is for nerds

**Sombra :** :(

**Fareeha : **In my defense, Sombra,

**Fareeha : **Angela asked for it ;)

**Hana : **LMAO

**Angela : **FAREEHA STFU

**Sombra : **Don`t worry, I can see that

**Angela : **onfaosnrgroasngansognjoasgnoasgnageg

**Fareeha : **We cool? :)

**Sombra : **Yeah, we cool. :)

**Jack : **What have you two been doing on base?

**Sombra : **You don`t wanna know.

**Fareeha : **You really don`t.

**Ashe : **Somebody please fetch me my butler :(

**Sombra : **Forgot about that :p

**Genji : **When did you last see Bob?

**Ashe : **I went to bed after going to the bar

**Jesse : **Stop reminding me >:(

**Ashe : **He was gone this morning when I woke up

**Ashe : **Said something about Hanzo??

**Hana : **ey maybe he`s looking for Hanzo

**Sombra :** I could add Bob to the chat for a small price

**Angela : **How??

**Sombra : **I went into your base and installed cameras literally everywhere

**Sombra : **I can do anything

**Jack : **Everywhere?

**Sombra : **Everywhere.

**Sombra : **I know about the shrine, Jack.

**Jack : **oh.

**Jack : **Back in a mo

**Angela : **fair point

**Ashe : **What you want homie

**Ashe : **anything you want

**Sombra : **Start up some drama

**Angela : **Why??

**Sombra :** It`s what I live for

**Jack : **Please don`t.

**Reaper : **Please do.

**Jack : **>:(

**Reaper : **>:)

**Ashe : **Would you settle for Jesse drama?

**Sombra : **I`m listening

**Jesse : **Bruh what you talking about

**Ashe : **You know what i`m talking about

**Ashe : **hey Jackkkk

**Jesse : **you don`t mean

**Ashe : **OH BUT I DO

**Ashe : **SOMEONE MUTE JESSE

**Jesse : **WAIT NO

**[Jesse has been muted for 5 minutes]** ****

**Sombra : **I`m invested

**Fareeha : **um

**Fareeha : **I think i just heard something break in creamy`s room.

**Sombra : **Irreverent

**Ashe : **@Jack

**Angela : **You know Jack?

**Jack : **You know me?

**Ashe : **yeah man

**Ashe : **What`s up with your legs?

**Genji : **That`s rude >:(

**Ashe : **But it`s part of the STORY Genji

**Ashe : **So shut it 

**Genji : **:(

**Genji : **I`m depressed

**Angela : **Ffs Ashe

**Angela : **He was finally getting better

**Ashe : **Whoops

**Sombra : **Jackkkk hurry up

**Fareeha : **THIS IS MCCREE

**Fareeha : **STOP HIM

**Fareeha : **HANZO PLS

**[Fareeha has been muted for 5 minutes]**

**Sombra : **Sorry 

**Ashe : **Don`t be sorry

**Ashe : **She`ll understand :)

**Ashe : **NOW EVERYONE STFU AND LET THE MAN SPEAK

**Jack :** Thanks?

**Jack : **Anyways

**Jack : **I was sleeping at base.

**Jack : **A terrorist must have planted a trap in my bed or something.

**Jack : **Had to get both my legs replaced.

**Ashe : **well what if I told you

**Ashe : **THAT WAS NO TERRORIST

**Lena : **Gasp!

**Lucio : **:o

**Ashe : **It was just Jesse being Jesse

**Hana : **Yikes

**Lucio : **F

**Reaper : **Nice.

**Reaper : **Makes me like the kid a little bit more.

**Angela : **I can hear Jesse screaming from my room?

**Angela : **Explain

**Jack : **He`s gonna be screaming A LOT louder in a minute.

**[Jack has left the chat]**

**Ashe : **hey hey hey Sombra was that good enough?

**Sombra : **Was that actually true though?

**Ashe : **kinda

**Ashe : **gimme Bob

**[Sombra has sent an invite]**

**Sombra : **Pleasure doing business with you.

**Reaper : **Making my 2 people highest on my kill list mad at each other.

**Reaper : **I like you.

**Ashe : **Thanks darlin

**Reaper : **I take it back.

**[Bob has entered the chat]**

**Ashe : **BOB

**Ashe : **WHERE YA BEEN BUDDY I`VE BEEN WORRIED SICK

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **No I don`t care that it`s only been a few hours

**Ashe : **where are you

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **and where`s he?

**Lena : **Am I high again?

**Lena : **Or is he not talking?

**Ashe : **He`s speaking bob

**Ashe : **Very complex

**Sombra : **How does one speak Bob?

**Ashe : **By being Bob

**Ashe : **duh

**Sombra : **Can you speak Bob?

**Ashe : **What did I JUST say

**Ashe : **Obviously not

**Sombra : **And you can still understand him?

**Ashe : **LET THE OMNIC SPEAK GOD

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **you what

**Hana : **Can someone translate for the viewers please

**Hana : **They wanna know the Bob gossip

**Ashe : **He says he`s near Hanzo

**Ashe : **Anyone know where that is? 

**Angela : **Jesse might.

**Fareeha : **I think it might be too late for that.

**Fareeha : **Jack`s keeping him occupied.

**Fareeha : **Wait, that sound wrong

**Lucio : **;)

**Fareeha : **Not like that :(

**Ashe : **@HANZO @HANZO @HANZO @HANZO @HANZO @HANZO @HANZO @HANZO @HANZO @HANZO @HANZO @HANZO @HANZO @HANZO @HANZO @HANZO WHERE YOU AT BRO

**Lena : **stop :(

**Hanzo : **Back.

**Hanzo : **I`m in Hanamura, I come here the same time each year.

**Ashe : **isn`t

**Ashe : **ain`t that that one place in Japan

**Hanzo : **Yes?

**Hanzo : **Why?

**Reaper : **Wait, so the gay robot`s in Japan?

**Angela : **Bob`s gay?

**Hana : **I didn`t mean it like that >:(

**Ashe : **Bob.

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **NO

**Ashe : **DON`T YOU START ACTING INNOCENT NOW

**Ashe : **WHY ARE YOU IN JAPAN

**Hana : **Maybe he`s a weeb

**Fareeha : **Nah.

**Fareeha : **By that logic, Genji would live in Japan

**Genji : **Hey >:(

**Widowmaker :** Moira is in Japan at the moment.

**Widowmaker : **She said it was for a mission, but didn`t specify.

**Reaper : **I`m not surprised.

**Angela : **All the more reason to hate Moira.

**Angela : **She`s a weeb :(

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **you

**Ashe : **you what

**Hanzo : **Bob, that doesn`t seem very wise.

**Hanzo : **Though I appreciate the gesture.

**Sombra : **Seriously, how do you understand this guy?

**Hanzo : **I don`t rightly know.

**Hanzo : **I just,

**Hanzo : **Do.

**Lena : **Someone please explain

**Hanzo : **Bob said I left my wallet at the bar, so he`s returning it to me.

**Angela : **You could have just waited until he came back??

**Ashe : **YEAH BOB

**Ashe : **LISTEN TO THE PRETTY DOCTOR

**Fareeha : **Hey now.

**Fareeha : **Could you not?

**Ashe : **But ya gotta agree

**Ashe : **She is pretty good lookin

**Angela : **Fareeha..

**Fareeha : **Eh.

**Fareeha : **Kinda.

**Angela : **???

**Fareeha : **9/10 would smash.

**Angela : **You already have?

**Fareeha : **Damn.

**Fareeha : **Looks like I`m working ahead of schedule :)

**Ashe : **Smoooth

**Bob : **...

**Hanzo : **Bob`s here.

**Hanzo : **And so is my wallet.

**Genji : **How did he even get there so fast?

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **Says one of my jets dropped him off

**Ashe : **And of course the only thing he thought to bring was his phone

**Ashe : **AND DIDN`T EVEN THINK TO CALL ME

**Fareeha : **So how`s the gay robot gonna get home?

**Lucio : **Bob`s gay?

**Hana : **NO

**Ashe : **Hanzo

**Hanzo : **Yes?

**Ashe : **Can you bring him home with you?

**Hanzo : **No.

**Hanzo : **I couldn`t sneak him on the plane.

**Hanzo : **I mean, look at him.

**Bob : **...

**Hanzo : **Yes Bob, I love your Halloween costume.

**Ashe : **His head`s detachable

**Ashe : **So you could just stuff that in your luggage bag and we can rebuild the rest

**Sombra :** How many Bob bodies have you had?

**Ashe : **Lost count

**Hanzo : **I don`t have a luggage bag.

**Ashe : **You wut

**Angela : **Who doesn`t bring a luggage bag on a trip abroad?

**Hanzo : **Me.

**Sombra : **I mean

**Sombra : **fair

**Widowmaker : **He could wait around for Moira.

**Ashe : **How dare you even suggest that

**Widowmaker : **What?

**Ashe : **I ain`t gonna leave my bestie abroad

**Ashe : **With the worst person in the universe

**Hanzo : **Can I come too?

**Ashe : **NO >:(

**Hanzo : **A shame.

**Jesse : **back

**Jesse : **am broke

**Sombra : **??

**Hanzo : **Arm broke?

**Jack : **Yes.

**Jack : **I made sure of it.

**Ashe : **Nice one Jack

**Ashe : **I`m heading for the private jet Bob

**Hana : **Already?

**Ashe : **Yeah man what`s the point in waiting?

**Ashe : **We`re gonna look so cool in our Halloween costumes

**Ashe : ***Photo*

**Ashe : **Spent ages on the horns

**Jesse : **ay guess you could say

**Jesse : **that`s one horny looking warlock

**Jesse : **haha

**Jesse : **god this hurts

**Ashe : **@Jack

**Jack : **Yeah?

**Ashe : **Be a pal and beat Jesse up again :)

**Jack : **Done.

**Jesse : **MERCY

**Angela : **No :) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, if you liked this chapter or want to leave a critique, please do! :D
> 
> Also, REQUESTS ARE WELCOME. Encouraged, really.  
This can range from :  
ANY ship you want included in the story (we need more!)  
A certain character you'd like to see more of/added into the chat  
(Keep in mind that all playable characters will be added soon)  
Anything specific that you want (so, anything, really.)
> 
> Also! I wanna change the title! If you have any title suggestions, PLEASE let me know :)


	7. OverChristmas: Genji got snow balls (Pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Genji is stuck in a building with people he hates and Jesse tries to get closer to Reaper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter comes in 2 parts, next part should hopefully be out soon. Merry Christmas :)
> 
> Plus, anyone like any of the new skins that came out this event? I wanna know what people think. It`s not a legendary, but I would wear Ugly Sweater: 76 to death. :)

**Genji :** HELLO????

**Mei :** Hi :D

**Genji : **WHERE ARE OVERWATCH WHEN YOU ACTUALLY NEED THEM???

**Angela : **Knowing us, probably playing dead

**Fareeha : **Sounds like someone I know ;)

**Ana : **I give up.

**Jesse : **My dog

**Jesse : **He was real good at it 

**Fareeha : **Wait what

**Angela : **what

**Jesse : **;-;

**Genji : **I NEED HEALING

**Genji : **BUT FOR REAL THIS TIME

**Angela : **Really?

**Genji : **SAVE ME ANGELA

**Angela : **Oh hell no

**Angela : **Get Brig to deal with your bullshit cause i`m done

**Genji : **But I`m serious this time :(

**Angela : **You said that last time.

**Genji : **:((

**Brigitte : **Aww, why me? :(

**Brigitte : **He might pull another 'I need healing but not really just date me scenario'!

**Genji : **THAT WAS ONE TIME

**Genji : **CAN YOU LET IT GO?

**Brigitte :** No Genji wtf

**Jesse : **She`s like 12 years younger then you eww

**Genji : **SHUT UP JESSE 

**Jesse : **:(

**Ashe : **Maybe he was just gettin desperate?

**Hana : **Desperate to go after my gf??

**Hana : **No offence genji but i`m better then you

**Hana : **in like literally everyway

**Hana : **He had no chance

**Genji : **IM STUCK

**Fareeha : **Stuck in denial.

**Angela : **Perhaps.

**Angela : **The only female that I`ve seen actually want to be around him is his cat

**Jesse : **That`s a bit of a stretch doc

**Genji : **Can we stop talking about my relationship status and focus on helping me????

**Angela : **It better not be another dick recovery surgery.

**Angela : **The last one was scarring enough

**Genji : **HEY

**Genji : **Does the Hippocratic oath mean nothing to you??

**Angela : **Eh.

**Angela : **For you, it`s more like a Hippocratic suggestion.

**[Lena has joined the chat]**

**Genji : **And no the dick recovery is for later

**Lena : **Fuckin hell

**Mei : **Hi Lena :)

**Lena : **mei

**Lena : **You`re a heartless demon

**Lena : **please end me

**Mei : **??

**Angela :** Are you ok Lena??

**Genji : **EXCUSE ME??

**Genji : **WHAT ABOUT ME?

**Lena : **oi shut it you tin can

**Lena : **We`re trapped in the same building

**Genji : **THATS WHAT IVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL THEM

**Genji : **IM TRAPPED IN A BUILDING

**Jesse : **lmao

**Ashe : **You know Genji

**Ashe : **IT AINT THAT HARD TO TYPE IM TRAPPED IN A BUILDING IN A CHAT ROOM

**Ashe : **DUMBASS

**Genji : **wait

**Genji : **GODDAMNIT

**Sombra : **I love lurking in the chat and laughing at people`s stupidity.

**Sombra : **Top 10.

**Brigitte : **Can we backtrack?

**Brigitte : **Why is Genji trapped in a building?

**Lena :** And me

**Brigitte : **And Lena.

**Lena : **There`s a lot of people in here actually

**Lena : **Emily says hi

**Mei :** Hi :)

**Fareeha : **Greetings :)

**Genji : **Hello :)

**Genji : **Wait that`s not the point

**Lena : **There was a snow storm

**Lena : **Now there`s huge piles of snow blocking the exits

**Genji : **See?

**Genji : **It wasn`t my fault this time :D

**Hana : **aww

**Hana : **imma have to give you a gg for that

**Jack :** This sounds serious.

**Jack : **Who else is trapped with you?

**Lucio : **me

**Moira : **I am stuck as well.

**Ashe : **Can`t we just leave them in there?

**Ashe : **Sorry city boy and british lez but killing off moira is too good of a chance to waste

**Lucio : **I get you :D

**Lucio : **I`ll find my own way out

**Angela : **Just don`t tell Moira when you do

**Moira : **THIS IS GOING TO FAR

**Moira : **YOU`D LET ME DIE JUST CAUSE YOU SLIGHTLY DISLIKE ME????

**Angela : **yes

**Fareeha : **Yeahh

**Moira : **WTF??

**Widowmaker : **It is not a slight dislike.

**Widowmaker : **It is a hatred.

**Moira : **Ok.

**Moira : **I get widow hating me with the whole heart thing.

**Moira : **But everyone else is just over exaggerating >:( 

**Widowmaker : **The only person I`d let play with my heart like that is Satya.

**Satya : **Thank you <3

**Widowmaker : **<3

**Widowmaker : **I think we should let them perish.

**Satya : **Oh.

**Satya : **I am stuck with them as well.

**Widowmaker : **Nevermind.

**Widowmaker : **I`m sending a team in now.

**Satya : **I feel loved.

**Genji : **I feel grossed out.

**Jesse :** You should

**Ashe :** Says the guy who tried to date a girl TWELVE YEARS YOUNGER THEN HIM

**Genji : **IT WAS ON APRIL FOOLS

**Fareeha :** Genji, come on.

**Fareeha : **I literally told you to talk to a girl on april fools.

**Fareeha : **So if they reject you they you can take it back.

**Ashe : **Damnn when did the kid get so smooth

**Fareeha : **I`m not a kid >:(

**Angela : **Wait.

**Angela : **Wasn`t that when you proposed to me?

**Fareeha : **no

**Satya : **A question.

**Satya : **Does it count as a present for someone if you use their money to buy it?

**Ashe : **Yes

**Jesse : **Nah.

**Ashe : **...

**Jesse : **See, this is why I hate you.

**Ashe : **Bob gets me presents all the time though

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **OF COURSE I CHERISH EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM

**Hana : **ew

**Ashe : **:o

**Ashe : **I think he just smiled irl

**Brigitte : **How??

**Jesse : **Wdym how? 

**Jesse : **You saying he can`t smile cause he`s an omnic?

**Jesse : **Woooooow

**Brigitte : **???

**Brigitte : **He literally can`t move his face

**Ashe : **RACIST MUCH?

**Widowmaker : **Americans.

**Ashe : **HE DID SMILE

**Ashe : **I`M SO HAPPY :D

**Genji : **So when`s that rescue team coming Widow?

**Ashe : **FUCK OFF GENJI WE`RE HAVING A MOMENT

**Lena :** And I`m freezing

**Lena : **Save me Widowbitch

**Widowmaker : **This wasn`t part of the deal.

**Genji : **Hello??

**Genji : **Am I invisible??

**Lena : **You can`t really rescue one without the other

**Lena : **My hero <3

**Widowmaker : **Merde.

**Widowmaker : **@Reaper @Sombra help me rescue Satya?

**Reaper : **No.

**Reaper : **I`m good.

**Widowmaker : **You won`t be in a minute.

**Reaper : **Point taken.

**Moira : **EXCUSE ME?

**Moira : **WHAT ABOUT ME???

**Moira : **TALON`S ONLY HEALER?

**Reaper : **I can self heal.

**Sombra :** The rest of us can`t :(

**Reaper : **You think I care about the rest of you?

**Sombra : **WOW

**Sombra : **YOU THINK YOU KNOW A GUY

**Jesse : **F

**Sombra : **Listen here Gabe

**Sombra : **You`re getting on that heli and saving my damn healer

**Sombra : **Or I`ll tell them about your secret stash :)

**Reaper : **...

**Reaper : **How did you know??

**Sombra : **I`m a damn psychic 

**Sombra : **Now get in the chopper

**Reaper :** FINE

**Moira : **Aww, you do care Gabe! :)

**Fareeha : **It only took blackmail to care but hey ho

**Jesse : **Can I come?

**Reaper :** ABSOLUTELY NOT

**Jesse : **DAD PLEASE

**Jesse : **Son/Dad bonding time

**Reaper : **I`M NOT YOUR DAD

**Sombra : **C`monnn Gabe 

**Sombra : **Let the excited puppy come along ;)

**Jesse :** Pleeeeeeease? 

**Jesse : **:)

**Reaper : **FINE

**Reaper : **But if he shits on the chopper, not my problem

**Jesse : **YES :D

**Jesse : **I`ve been son-zoned 

**Angela : **Is that a real thing?

**Fareeha : **Let him has his moment Angela 

**Hanzo : **Hello.

**Mei : **Hi :D

**Hanzo : **What does 'Wdym' mean?

**Hanzo : **Jesse keeps saying it.

**Jesse : **Widowmaker destroys your mom

**Ashe : **THE MOMENT WAS LOST

**Widowmaker : **Excuse me?

**Satya : **But I don`t have any children.

**Satya : **But I might have a cold.

**Widowmaker : **Oh merde

**Widowmaker : **@Reaper get on the fucking plane.

**Reaper : **Swear jar.

**Widowmaker : **Whatever.

**Genji : **HELLO???

**Genji : **I think I have hyperthermia

**Ashe : **That`s when you get too hot dumbass

**Brigitte : **How do you have hypothermia??

**Jesse : **Are you being racist again?

**Brigitte : **No

**Brigitte : **I`m just stating factsss

**Ashe : **RACIST

**Brigitte : **NO

**Torbjorn : **I THOUGHT I RAISED YOU BETTER THEN THIS

**Brigitte : **Dad you literally hate omnics

**Torbjorn : **IRRELEVENT

**Jesse :** SHE`S TRYING TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT

**[Brigitte has left the chat]**

**Hana : **Great

**Hana : **Thanks guys

**Genji :** Welcome :)

**Ashe : **Getting rid of racists since 1950

**Hana : **I was being sarcastic

**Hana : ¬_¬**

**[Hana has left the chat]**

**Jesse : **Omggggggg

**Jesse : **We don`t have a pilot

**Jesse : **Dadcree drive me

**Reaper : **no

**Jesse : **OMG

**Jesse : **He responded to dadcree

**Reaper : **No i didn`t 

**Reaper : **Shut up

**Sombra : **awww

**Sombra : **It`s a Christmas miracle :D

**Widowmaker : **Seeing Reaper display emotions is off putting.

**Reaper : **Why am I the only one on this chopper being bullied??

**Reaper : **I mean, look at McCree.

**Reaper : **Poncho wearing ass

**Jesse : **Thanks for the constructive criticism dad

**Jesse : **I`ll be sure to dress cooler when I visit you :D

**Sombra : **Big words for a little man

**Reaper : **It was supposed to be an insult

**Reaper : **Wait

**Reaper : **Oh HELL no

**Reaper : **This is a one off.

**Reaper : **I`m not gonna let you `visit` me.

**Jesse : **I don`t need your permission :D

**Jesse : **Nothing`s gonna stop me

**Reaper : **Not even a shotgun blast point blank?

**Hanzo : **You think a simple shotgun blast can kill Jesse McCree?

**Hanzo : **Hardly.

**Jesse : **<3

**Jesse : **See this is why I like him

**Ashe : **Who doesn`t?

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **what

**Ashe :** HANZO

**Hanzo : **Yes?

**Ashe : **BOB SAYS YOU STOOD HIM UP

**Ashe : **EXPLANATION?

**Hanzo : **Sorry, Bob.

**Bob : **...

**Hanzo : **I am stuck in a building.

**Lena : **Wait

**Lena : **That`s you??

**Lena : **Wtf are you wearing?

**Lena : **it looks hideous

**Hanzo : **Jesse`s clothes. 

**Lena :** oh ok that explains that

**Jesse : **Hey now :(

**Jesse :** dadcree hold me

**Reaper : **No

**Reaper : **GET AWAY FROM ME

**Jesse : **YOU CAN`T ESCAPE MY LOVE

**[Reaper has left the chat]**

**[Jesse has left the chat]**

**Ashe : **ew

**Fareeha : **WAIT.

**Fareeha :** Hanzo.

**Hanzo : **Yes?

**Fareeha : **Where`s Genji?

**Fareeha : **You know he hates you.

**Hanzo : **You mean the cyborg?

**Hanzo : **He`s trying to hide behind a coat rag.

**Hanzo : **And failing.

**Hanzo : **Miserably. 

**Genji : **hey guys

**Genji : **Any idea how to actually turn invisible

**Sombra : **Nah

**Genji :** Darn

**Hanzo : **He`s looking at me now.

**Hanzo : **I`m waving at him.

**Genji : **Guys help

**Genji : **There`s some guy in a hideous poncho waving at me

**Angela :** Seriously?

**Lena : **Yep

**Lena : **give him a sec he`ll realize

**Fareeha : **Readying the popcorn.

**Genji : **wdym

**Genji : **wait

**Genji : **THAT

**Genji : **SON

**Genji : **OF

**Genji : **A


	8. OverChristmas: The Snowball Massacre (Pt 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Genji tries to finally exact revenge and Hanzo is confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone got a favorite Winter Wonderland skin in general? Santa Torbjorn is a work of art. :)

**Genji : **THAT

**Genji : **SON

**Genji : **OF 

**Genji : **A

**Genji : **BITCH

**Hanzo : **Rude.

**Lena : **who`s a bitch today?

**Lena : **Hanzo?

**Genji : **WELL NAHHHH

**Jesse : **Wait, really?

**Genji : **my god

**Genji : **jesse i know you can`t hear sarcasm through a monitor

**Genji : **But I can feel your dumbass rays hitting me through the screen

**Jesse : **Hey now :(

**[Hana has joined the chat]**

**Reaper : **"Dumbass rays." 

**Reaper : **Fits you perfectly.

**Jesse : **lol thanks dad :)

**Reaper : **DAMNIT BOY

**Reaper : **STOP

**Jesse : **:)

**Hana : **¬_¬

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **Wait really

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **LMAOOO

**Hana :** translate pls

**Ashe : **GENJI CALLED HIS OWN MUM A BITCH

**Hana : **Oh well done Genji

**Genji : **WAIT

**Jesse : **Now who`s the dumbass :)

**Genji : **DON`T SAY ANYTHING TO HER

**Genji : **YOU DON`T UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF THE CHANCLAS

**Genji : **I`D RATHER GET MURDERED AGAIN

**Hanzo : **Hello.

**Genji : **SHIT HE`S STILL HERE

**Lucio : **I`m just gonna sit here

**Lucio : **Listening to my music

**Hana : **Trying not to go insane?

**Lucio : **Yeah

**Lucio : **You get me Hana :)

**Hana :** :)

**Lena : **Well you know who got me????

**Fareeha : **Do you english

**Lena : **WIDOWBITCH

**Lena : **MY HERO <3

**Widowmaker : **Yeah, well.

**Widowmaker : **Tracer?

**Widowmaker : **More like,

**Widowmaker :** Eraser.

**Lena : **what

**Angela : **what?

**Ashe : **HAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

**Ashe : **I GET IT

**Ashe : **NOT FUNNY DIDN`T LAUGH

**Hana : **0-o

**Jesse : **what

**Satya : **Are you referring to how she disappeared through time and space that one time?

**Widowmaker : **Yes.

**Satya : **How humorous. 

**Satya : **<3

**Widowmaker : **I am aware.

**Widowmaker : **<3

**Fareeha :** Honestly they sound like 2 robots having a convo

**Bob :** ...

**Ashe : **Bob asks if that`s racist or not

**Fareeha : **To be fair,

**[Brigitte has joined the chat]**

**Fareeha : **I`d probably be able to have less of a dry convo with Bob.

**Ashe : **gasp

**Ashe : **You have successfully dodged 12 bullets in succession

**Fareeha : **Thanks?

**Hanzo : **Hello?

**Hanzo : ***Photo* What is he doing?

**Angela : **In my scientific opinion,

**Angela : **It`s an angry looking Genji building a snow fort.

**Brigitte : **How?

**Angela : **How what?

**Brigitte :** Nvm I`m not going through this shit again

**Brigitte :** Genji send me Frumpkins I`m sad

**Genji : **CAN`T BUSY

**Jesse : **But not busy enough to type

**Hanzo : **How long until help arrives?

**Hanzo : **That snow fort is getting quite big.

**Hanzo : **And intimidating.

**Sombra : **We`re picking you up too?

**Jesse : **GASP

**Jesse : **DAD YOU GET TO MEET MY BOYFRIEND

**Reaper : **Kill me.

**Jesse : **NO CAN DO :)

**Lena :** guyssss

**Lena : **Turns out genji is a veryyy fast builder

**Hana : **He`s practiced with lego I bet

**Lena : **Pretty sure Emily wants to talk to him

**Angela : **You should introduce them then.

**Lena : **hell no

**Lena : **I value my gf`s sanity

**Fareeha : **I don`t.

**Angela : **:o

**Angela : **Awwwww 

**Angela : **It`s like you know I`m already mentally unstable! <3

**Fareeha : **Yeah that

**Moira : **I can vouch for Angela`s insanity!

**Ashe : **ew Moira

**Angela : **Says the one who one who tortures animals for fun

**Moira : **But can you deny my results? 

**Moira : **No :)

**Fareeha :** Your 'results' are multiple visits from the RSPCA.

**Moira :** Hey!

**Moira : **Fluffy was a dick, he deserved it!

**Reaper : **Were the fines worth it though?

**Moira : **Oh absolutely :)

**Doomfist : **I hope they were,

**Doomfist : **Cause it`s coming out of your pay check

**Moira : **:0

**Moira : **BUT DOOOOOOM

**Moira : **I NEED THE MONEYY

**Widowmaker :** Please.

**Widowmaker : **You don`t need to make another anime cosplay.

**Moira : **but

**Moira : **but

**Moira :** I wanna be toaster-chan :(

**Ashe :** ew

**Angela : **ew

**Jesse : **ew

**Moira : **:(

**[Moira has left the chat]**

**Hana : **Do you ever feel bad for her?

**Angela : **No?

**Hana : **lmao me neither

**Lena : **Guysssss

**Lena : **I think Genji`s planning something

**Fareeha : **What makes you think that?

**Genji : **AHEM

**Genji : **MR SHIMADA

**Hanzo :** Who`s that?

**Genji : **YOU???

**Hanzo : **But I`m not married.

**Genji : **Oh

**Genji : **(Hey guys what do you call an unmarried man)

**Fareeha :** A bachelor?

**Genji : **Ok thank you.

**Genji : **AHEM

**Genji : **BACHELOR HANZO

**Genji : **No that doesn`t sound right

**Sombra : **Nah, it definitely is.

**Genji : **I dunno :p

**Hanzo : **My friends call me Hanzo.

**Hanzo : **And so does Moira.

**Genji : **YEAH WELL

**Genji : **WE AREN`T FRIENDS

**Jesse : **Ow

**Jesse : **As his bf now I`m legally supposed to hate you

**Ashe : **NOT TRUE

**Ashe : **I HATE YO ASS AND HANZO STILL LOVES ME

**Hanzo :** It`s true.

**Jesse : **BETRAYAL

**Jesse : **I need emotional support :(

**[Reaper has left the chat]**

**Jesse : **OK

**Jesse : **Brb dad`s being stubborn

**[Jesse has left the chat]**

**Genji : **GUYS

**Genji : **STOP TALKING

**Lena : **Genji that`s a big snow fort you got there

**Lena : **you compensating or something?

**Genji : **WHAT DID I JUST SAY?????

**Lena :** ok sheesh

**Genji : **AHEMMMM

**Genji : **(Bachelor) HANZO

**Genji : **HANZO??

**Genji : **@HANZO @HANZO STOP IGNORING ME

**Hanzo : **You said stop talking.

**Genji : **NO NOT YOU

**Genji : **I swear

**Hanzo : **What do you want?

**Genji : **I challenge you to a duel!

**Ashe : **My god Genji we`ve been over this

**Ashe : **YOU COULD HAVE SAID THAT LIKE 10 MINUTES AGO

**Genji : **STFU ASHE

**[Ashe has received a 5 minute ban]**

**Genji : **I HAVE THE POWER

**Hanzo : **Oh no.

**Hanzo : **He`s gone mad with power.

**Lena :** Pretty sure he was mad to begin with

**[Lena has received a 3 minute ban]**

**Hanzo** : Oh no.

**Hanzo : **why do you want to fight me so badly?

**Genji : **Because,

**Genji : **Last time we fought you kinda cheated

**Genji : **And I died.

**Genji : **Very uncool by the way

**Fareeha :** Am i the only one that`s kinda scared to talk?

**[Fareeha has recieved a 2 minute ban]**

**Hanzo : **And having a giant snowfort isn`t cheating?

**Genji : **nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

**Genji : **No?

**Zenyatta : **Ok.

**Zenyatta : **Stop kicking everyone out.

**Zenyatta : **Before I kick your ass to the curb.

**Genji : **Master????

**Zenyatta :** i mean

**Zenyatta : **Harmony.

**[Ashe has entered the chat]**

**[Fareeha has joined the chat]**

**[Lena has joined the chat]**

**Ashe : **BITCH

**Widowmaker :** This is nice and all.

**Widowmaker : **But the cowboy has a black eye.

**Satya :** And I have several colds in succession.

**Hanzo : **Wait, what?

**Widowmaker : **Oh no.

**Widowmaker : **Ok screw the cowboy.

**Widowmaker : **Sombra drive faster.

**Sombra : **I`M DRIVING THROUGH A SNOWSTORM 

**Sombra : **ARANDANO

**Sombra : **WHAT MORE DO YOU WANTTTT?

**Widowmaker : **For you to fly faster.

**Sombra : **NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnn

**Hanzo : **Hello?

**Hanzo :** What about Jesse and his black eye?

**Genji : **HELLO???

**Genji : **WHAT ABOUT ME???

**Genji : **The snowfort?

**Genji : **The awesome intro?

**Genji : **Aren`t you afraid Hanzo?

**Hanzo : **Not really.

**Hanzo : **Now is not the time to be afraid.

**Hanzo : **Now is Jesse time.

**Angela : **Awww

**Fareeha : **Cute.

**Ashe : **HANZO

**Ashe : **YOU`RE TOO PURE FOR THIS WORLD

**Genji : **HE LITERALLY KILLED ME

**Ashe : **IRRELEVANT

**[Hanzo has left the chat]**

**[Jesse has entered the chat]**

**Lena : **ohhhh

**Lena : **Guyssssssssss??

**Fareeha : **Yeeeeeeeees?

**Lena : **Genji just threw a snowball at Hanzo

**Lena :** And he looks pissed

**Angela : **Who`s he?

**Lena : **Both actually

**Lena : **Which is pretty weird cause yknow he had no eyes

**Brigitte : **Oh so she gets to say it and i don`t?

**Ashe :** Say what?

**Brigitte : **I don`t wanna say it.

**Ashe : **SAY

**Ashe : **WHAT

**[Brigitte has left the chat]**

**Ashe :** COWARD

**Lucio : **Hey guysssss,

**Lucio : **How much do you think I could make if I record this?

**Ashe : **As much as you want.

**Ashe : **I`m paying

**Lucio : **:o

**Lucio : **I love knowing rich people

**Lena : **Ok

**Lena : **Now they`re just throwing snowballs at each other

**Hana : **Lenaaaaa

**Hana : **Give us the details

**Lena : **um

**Lena : **what the hell am i supposed to say

**Lena : **it`s a damn snowball fight

**Hana : **:(

**Lena : **Lucio has his phone out

**Lena : **Moira is sobbing

**Widowmaker : **Wait, really?

**Lena : **I don`t lie widowbitch

**[Reaper has joined the chat]**

**Widowmaker : **Good.

**Lena : **Emily looks traumatized

**Lena : **like any sane person who looks at this chat

**Lena : **And Satya is sneezing

**Widowmaker : **Sombra.

**Widowmaker : **Hurry the fuck up.

**Sombra : **OFNOANFJOANJODGNjojaegladgnonaskngknka

**Sombra : **gawekngaj\eg

**Fareeha : **I didn`t know words could give people strokes 0_o

**Sombra : **EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee

**Lena : **Woa

**Lena : **Hanzo`s getting wrecked

**Ashe :** wait

**Ashe :** WHAT

**Angela :** What

**Fareeha : **What

**Lena :** i`m as shocked as you are

**Lena : **emily`s chanting

**Lena : **'Go robot guy kick his ass'

**Lena : **HE NEEDS TO BE STOPPED

**Fareeha : **Why aren`t you helping Hanzo then?

**Lena : **Oh good point

**Lena : **i mean i have a pulse bomb

**Lena : **would that help?

**Ashe : **IN WHAT WORLD WOULD A PULSE BOMB NOT HELP?

**Ashe : **KABOOM

**Lena : **Good point

**Lena : **goodbye snowfort

**Widowmaker : **Ok.

**Widowmaker : **We`re almost there.

**Jesse : **Slightly more battered then before we left

**Angela :** What happened?

**Jesse : **I tried to touch the spooky man

**Reaper : **He tried to hug me.

**Reaper : **He was basically asking for it.

**Jesse : **I JUST WANTED SOME LOVE D:

**Reaper : **I`m called the reaper.

**Reaper : **I think literally anyone else would be a better pick.

**Jesse : **yeah well

**Jesse : **:((((((

**Lena : **Bang

**Lena : **And the fort is gone!

**Lena : **and I think Genji`s swearing in weeb

**Jesse : **I`m so proud

**Angela : **You`ve earned a coffee my friend.

**Lena : **yay

**Lena :** oh

**Lena : **hey so i think I messed up

**Fareeha : **You always mess up, Lena

**Lena : **shut up

**Lena : **either i`m too high or there`s a dragon flying around

**Jesse : **:o

**Jesse : **What color????

**Reaper : **What?

**Reaper : **She says that there`s a dragon flying around.

**Reaper : **And your first thought is:

**Reaper : **'Oh! Yee haw! What color is it?!'

**Jesse : **I don`t sound like that :(

**Jesse : **yee naw

**Lena : **now there`s more

**Lena : **Green and blue

**Lena : **And the blue one`s holding piles of snow in its mouth

**Jesse : **Ok that`s pretty normal

**Reaper : **Why do I bother?

**Lena : **Now the dragons are fighting

**Lena : **congrats now there`s 2 snowball fights

**Lucio :** @Ashe is that double the money??

**Ashe : **HELL YEAH BROTHER

**Lucio : **:D

**Lena : **Hanzo`s saying weeb shit

**Angela :** Isn`t that racist?

**Lena : **pretty sure i`ve heard it in an anime at least once so no

**Jesse : **wait

**Jesse : **Lena`s a weeb?

**Lena : **Irrelevant

**Lena : **the blue dragons completely wrecked the green one

**Lena : **like so bad it literally disappeared 

**Reaper : **Let me guess,

**Reaper : **Jesse`s gonna say that`s completely normal?

**Jesse : **gasp

**Jesse : **You know me so well dadcree :D

**Reaper : **I hate my life.

**Fareeha : **Don`t we all?

**Lena** : oh god

**Lena : **this is like

**Lena : **2 dragons 1 shimada

**Widowmaker : **Ok.

**Widowmaker : **We`re landing.

**Satya : **My hero <3

**Widowmaker : **<3

**Lena : **<3

**Widowmaker : **</3

**Widowmaker : **Whatever,

**Widowmaker : **Jesse`s digging through the snowpile.

**Widowmaker : **Turns out bringing him along was more useful then we thought.

**Jesse : **Hey :(

**Reaper :** Less typing

**Reaper **: More digging.

**Jesse : **Ok sorry

**Widowmaker : **Done.

**Widowmaker : **Everyone relevant get on the plane.

**Widowmaker : **But don`t steal my spot or I`ll kill everyone you love.

**Widowmaker : **Including you.

**Lucio : **Jokes on you I`m secretly insecure!

**Hana : **What?

**Lucio : **What?

**Lena : **um guys

**Lena :** i think genji might be dead

**Angela : **What.

**Lena : **Maybe

**Angela : **What did you do, Lena?

**Lena : **Hey for once it`s not my fault 

**Fareeha : **Oh this i have to hear

**Lena : **Ok

**Lena : **So Genji`s been yelling like a deranged banshee this entire time

**Lena : **Then the dragons picked him up

**Lena : **And he kinda just

**Lena : **stopped

**Angela : **Are you telling me,

**Angela : **That I have to haul my ass in the cold to rez him?

**Ashe : **Depends on if you actually care about him or not

**Angela : **Not at all.

**Angela : **But i`m a doctor sooo

**Angela : **god damnit

**Angela : **Anyone got a spare private jet I can borrow to get there?

**Ashe : **OH OH

**Ashe : **ME

**Angela : **Can I borrow it?

**Ashe : **Depends

**Ashe : **Are you willing to take me out for ice cream? :)

**Angela : **But you`re rich?

**Ashe : **BUT I`M SO LONELY

**Ashe : **PLEASE

**Angela : **fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine

**Ashe : **:D

**Fareeha :** Can I come?

**Ashe : **But then I`ll be the third wheel D:

**Ashe : **That`s happened way to many times to be funny

**Fareeha : **But

**Fareeha : **Sister`s day out?

**Ashe : **That doesn`t make sense

**Ashe : **Cause that means my sisters are bangin

**Ashe : **ew

**Fareeha : **Fair point

**Zenyatta : **May I accompany you?

**Ashe : **:o

**Ashe : **YASSS

**Ashe : **WE CAN BE SPARE WHEELS TOGETHER

**Ashe : **COME ON SISTER

**Zenyatta : **I`ve always wanted to be a wheel.

**Angela : **Don`t forget about Genji.

**Ashe : **Oh yeah I totally did

**Ashe : **Was too excited by the thoughts of having friends :(

**Fareeha : **But how about,

**Fareeha : **We get the ice cream first?

**Fareeha : **he`s not going anywhere.

**Ashe : **Orrr

**Ashe : **We rez him and bring him for ice cream too

**Ashe : **We bully him too much :(

**Ashe : **He may be a douche but he`s our douche

**Jesse : **Ashe has a heart??

**Jesse : **What alternate dimension have I ended up in?

**Zenyatta :** I`ve never seen a car with five wheels.

**Ashe : **Mine does!

**Angela :** What the fuck is wrong with your car???

**Angela : **And you for that matter

**Ashe :** Who cares

**Ashe : **LET`S GO GET OUR 5TH WHEEL

**Fareeha : **Fineeee.

**Jesse : **And this is gonna be the worst mistake you`ll ever make :)

**Ashe : **SHUT UP JESSE

**Reaper : **Agreed.

**Jesse : **:(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have plans until around mid January, but requests are still open! :)


	9. Gaming Time : Town Of Dumbasses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our first game chapter!  
Basically, alot of people get murdered.
> 
> Plus, I have no idea how to portray Sigma so he might suck.  
My bad.
> 
> ALSO: PRETTY IMPORTANT:  
If you see something like "Brigitte to Baptiste", that means the first person is whispering to the second, and no one else can hear them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, 1000 hits! Thanks to everyone who has given this a chance. Soooo, now would be a great time to try something? I guess? Let me know if you like it? Bye? :)
> 
> This chapter is based on the game "Town Of Salem", and if you`re unfamiliar, you should:  
A) Look up a bit about it first so you have the faintest idea what`s going on.  
B) Go to the end notes to see each person`s role, and their affiliation  
So I apologize if this chapter is a bit confusing, but I thought I`d be fun :D  
  
You should probably read the end notes anyways
> 
> This is a test chapter, I`ll probably make a more of different games in the future if this one doesn`t suck too bad.  
Hope it doesn`t! :D  


**Sombra : **Hey.

**Sombra : **Do you want to play a game?

**Orisa : **Oh!

**Orisa : **That is a reference to the movie franchise "Saw", correct?

**Sombra : **Uh.

**Sombra : **Yeah.

**Orisa : **I`m getting better at this! :D

**Zarya : **And here I thought this chat couldn`t get any worse

**Zarya : **Another omnic 

**Orisa : **Hello! :D

**Zarya : **ew

**Baptiste : **You are aware that the mod of this chat is an omnic?

**Baptiste : **Just saying.

**Zarya : **EW

**Jesse : **What`s with all the new people?

**Jack : **I have no idea.

**Jack : **They just showed up here.

**Jesse : **Who invited yall here?

**Satya : **Widowmaker.

**Jack : **How long have you been here?

**Satya : **The very beginning

**Lena : **dear god

**Lena : **You might have seen some things

**Widowmaker : **<3

**Satya : **<3

**Reaper : **Seeing Widow have emotions is off putting.

**Ashe : **LET THE GIRL LOVE MAN

**Jesse : **yeah dad

**Reaper : **DOn`t call me that

**Jesse : **k dad

**Reaper : **>:(

**Orisa : **Sombra said if I join, her people will leave the people of Numbani alone.

**Sombra : ***for a short while

**Orisa : **Oh.

**Orisa : **You did not specify this.

**Sombra : **It was in the small print.

**Orisa : **Oh.

**Baptiste : **Sombra and me are close bros.

**Baptiste : **She said she`d get me something special if I join

**Baptiste : **That`s all Baptiste needed to hear ;)

**Jesse : **ew

**Sombra : **not like that

**Sombra : **I need more people to play my game!

**Jesse : **Who says we`re playing anyways?

**Sombra : **It`s either that or I tell everyone how you lost your arm.

**Jesse : **ok what we playing

**Sombra : **I`m sending people invites explaining the rules.

**Sombra : **Basically, you need to make sure your side wins.

**Genji : **Excuse me

**Genji : **But what if I have Jesse on my side?

**Genji : **I don`t wanna be at such a disadvantage

**Jesse : **YEAH WELL

**Jesse : **shut up

**Genji : **lmao

**Ashe : **HEY

**Ashe : **I got an invite but I can`t play right now

**Hanzo : **Why not?

**Ashe : **We`re kinda about to have a standoff with a rival gang

**Ashe : **Important stuff :p

**Sombra : **But you haaaaave to

**Ashe : **whyyyyyyyy

**Sombra : **I`ll hack Bob ;)

**Ashe : **aw shit

**Ashe : **eh I`m sure Zeke can handle himself

**Ashe : **sure he won`t die

**Sigma : **sOMbruH

**Sigma : **whAts aN inVItE

**Sombra : **You wanna play?

**Sigma : **yEH

**Sigma : **MoiRA says i neEd more fRIEnds

**Angela :** Why is he talking like that

**Sigma : **SPOnGEbOB kEyboaRD

**Sigma : **iS gOOd

**Angela : **Can you turn it off?

**Sigma : **nO

**Moira : **Good Sigma :)

**Moira : **Looks like my shitting on Angela lessons paid off

**Sigma : **thAnks, i TriED

**Angela : **Bad Moira

**Moira : **D:

**Sigma : **igNOrE tHAt WITCH

**Moira : **:D

**Angela : **Hey :(

**Fareeha : **Yikes.

**Ashe : **Bob says he wants to join

**Ashe : **I don`t wanna make him sad

**Ashe : **Please

**Sombra : **Fine

**Ashe : **:D

* * *

**[SOMBRA] Has created chat room [GAMING TIME!]**

**Sombra : **Come to me my minions

**[Doomfist has entered the chat]**

**[Fareeha has entered the chat]**

**[Orisa has entered the chat]**

**[Satya has entered the chat]**

**[Widowmaker has entered the chat]**

**[Jesse has entered the chat]**

**[Hanzo has entered the chat]**

**[Genji has entered the chat]**

**[Zarya has entered the chat]**

**[Reaper has entered the chat]**

**[Jack has entered the chat]**

**[Baptiste has entered the chat]**

**[Ana has entered the chat]**

**[Angela has entered the chat]**

**Baptiste : **First!

**[Moira has entered the chat]**

**[Sigma has entered the chat]**

**Sombra : **There`s always one Baptiste :p

**[Bob has entered the chat]**

**[Ashe has entered the chat]**

**[Brigitte has entered the chat]**

**[Hana has entered the chat]**

**Hana : **I mean

**Hana : **I play games for a living.

**Hana : **I`m gonna win :D

**Sombra : **This is a team game.

**Hana : **Damnit.

**Hana : **I don`t have to work with Jesse, do I?

**Jesse : **Hey!

**Jesse : **If I`m a bad guy I`m gonna kill you so hard

**Baptiste : **The game hasn`t even stared and this one is giving away his plans!

**Baptiste : **I like it! 

**Jesse : **wait no

**Ashe : **So if Hana ever dies we kill Jesse

**Ashe : **I like this plan

**Sombra : **Can we start the game now?

**Orisa : **I believe so.

**Orisa : **I am quite excited to play with all these new people!

**Orisa : **I might make a new friend! :D

**Zarya : **not from me you tin can >:(

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **Jesus Bob

**Ashe : **Watch your langauge

**Reaper : **He didn`t say anything?

**Ashe : **You can`t speak Bob

**Ashe : **Only Bob can

**Baptiste : **Ooohkay,

**Baptiste : **I`m just gonna ignore the crazy people from now on

**Sombra : **You have a lot of ignoring to do.

**Baptiste : **Good job I`m a pro!

**Widowmaker : **Sombra.

**Sombra : **What up bestie?

**Satya : **You said I was your bestie last time we spoke.

**Sombra : **I`ve moved on

**Sombra : **Again

**Widowmaker : **Start the game.

**Sombra : **K

**Sombra : **Just cause you scare me a lil

**Sombra : **a lot

* * *

**DAY ONE**

**Hanzo : **So. 

**Hanzo : **What do we do, exactly?

**Zarya : **My role suggests that I should probably be crying right now

**Brigitte : **oh

**Jesse : **Idfk man

**Baptiste :** Damn

**Baptiste : **And here I thought I could escape being a doctor for 2 seconds :(

**Ashe : **feels bad man

**Genji : **I vote we kill Moira!

**Moira : **WHAT DID I DO TO YOU NOW

**Sigma : **pOor mOIrA

**Moira : **Thanks Sigma 

**Sigma : **:D

**Moira : **:D

**IT IS TOO LATE TO CONTINUE VOTING**

**Jesse : **tf does that MEAN

**Orisa : **Good luck! I`m looking forward to this game! :D

**Baptiste : **M A S S C O N F U S I O N

* * *

**NIGHT ONE - JAILOR CHAT**

**Jailor : **ROLE

**Ashe : **THE FUCK

**Jailor : **NOW OR YOU DIE

**Ashe : **THE FUCK IS A ROLE

**Jailor : **WHAT ARE YOU

**Ashe : **JESUS CHRIST

**Ashe : **A DOCTOR?

**Jailor : **OK COOL

**Jailor :** KEEP HELPING PEOPLE

**Ashe : **OK COOL

**Jailor : **GOOD TALK

**Jailor : **BYE

**Ashe : **BYE?

* * *

**NIGHT ONE - MAFIA CHAT**

**Reaper : **Nice, I`m evil.

**Reaper : **Who`s with me?

**Angela : **Great.

**Ana : **Me too.

**Bob : **...

**Reaper : **Jesus.

**Reaper : **This is the worst team possible.

**-Ana has decided to frame Fareeha tonight-**

**Angela : **It could be worse.

**Angela : **We could have Jesse.

**Reaper : **Yeah, that`s true.

**-Bob has decided to attack Orisa tonight-**

**Ana : **Woah.

**Angela : **But she seemed so happy to play!

**-Reaper decided to blackmail Hana tonight-**

**Reaper : **Exactly.

**Reaper : **Good job, Bob.

**Bob : **...

* * *

**DAY TWO**

**(Orisa was killed last night.)**

**(She was killed by a member of the Mafia.)**

**(We found a will next to the body.)**

**("**I`m sooo happy to be able to play with new friends!**")**

**(Orisa`s role was MEDIUM)**

**Baptiste : **Oh damn.

**Sigma : **the INNocent onE is DEAD

**Moira : **aww

**Moira : **that`s pretty sad

**Genji : **Shut up Moira

**Ashe : **YEAH, SHUT UP MOIRA

**Ashe : **FAKE SYMPATHY MUCH?

**Genji : **I say we hang her just for that!

**Satya : **Widowmaker hates her, so I agree.

**Widowmaker : **Thank you.

**Satya : **<3

**Widowmaker : **<3

**Reaper : **ew

**-Brigitte is whispering to Baptiste-**

**Brigitte to Baptiste : **Hey, why did you visit Sigma last night?

**Baptiste to Brigitte: **Are you stalking me?

**Brigitte to Baptiste : **no

**Jack : **Isn`t this supposed to be a team game?

**Baptiste to Brigitte : **Just my job. He`s alive, isn`t he? :)

**Angela : **Exactly.

**Angela : **And as a team, we`re all for hanging Moira.

**Doomfist : **Don`t the rest of us get a say?

**Doomfist : **There are a lot of people not talking.

**Ashe : **I bet they would say yeah let`s kill her

**Fareeha to Angela : **Sorry for "roleblocking" you last night

**Angela to Fareeha : **It`s alright <3

**Fareeha to Angela : **<3

**Moira : **WHY

**VOTING TIME**

**-Jesse has voted against Moira-**

**-Reaper has voted against Moira-**

**-Ashe has voted against Moira-**

**-Genji has voted against Moira-**

**-Reaper has voted against Moira-**

**-Bob has voted against Moira-**

**-Brigitte has voted against Baptiste-**

**Baptiste : **:o

**-Satya has voted against Moira-**

**-Ana has voted against Moira-**

**(The town has voted against Moira.)**

**(What is your defense?)**

**Moira : **OK FUCK YOU GUYS

**Moira : **I JUST WANTED TO PLAY A GAME BUT NOOO

**Moira : **If you must know

**Moira : **I`m a bodyguard, and I visited Sigma last night

**Moira : **Happy?

**(The town will now decide your fate.)**

**Ashe : **LIES

**Jack : **But we have no proof against her?

**Reaper : **Who cares?

**Reaper : **Guilty.

**Bob : **...

**Genji : **I DON`T KNOW WHAT`S GOING ON BUT WE GET TO KILL MOIRA 

**Genji : **I LOVE THIS GAME

**Angela : **Same!

**Moira : **WHAT

**Baptiste : **I see Moira is as hated as ever!

**Baptiste : **And I am not surprised in the slightest.

**Sigma :** D:

**(The town has decided to hang Moira on a 16-2 vote)**

**(Any last words?)**

**Moira : **WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER

**Moira : **SHIT

**(May God have mercy on your soul, Moira)**

**Angela : **ew no

**(We found a will next to the body)**

**(**"If i died, it was probably Angela`s fault"**)**

**(Moira`s role was BODYGUARD)**

**IT IS TOO LATE TO CONTINUE VOTING**

**Angela : **???

**Genji : **GG EZ

**Jack : **Darn

**Sigma : **D:

* * *

**NIGHT TWO - JAILOR CHAT**

**Jailor : **ROLE

**Hana : **Sheriff

**Hana : **Night one-Brigitte-Innocent (Blackmailed)

**Hana : **ez

**Jailor : **Damn.

**Jailor : **Wasn`t expecting an actual response

**Hana : **dude

**Hana : **I play games for a living

**Hana : **Expecting me to get caught in a lie?

**Jailor : **Kinda, yeah

**Hana : **Dude

**Hana : **Have more faith in me

* * *

**NIGHT TWO - MAFIA CHAT**

**-Ana has decided to frame Fareeha tonight-**

**Angela : **Ana why

**Ana : **Why not

**-Bob has decided to attack Genji tonight-**

**Reaper : **Heard you and Fareeha whispering.

**Reaper : **Sounds like an important role.

**Reaper : **We should kill her

**Angela : **ew no

**Angela : **She`s really bad with grudges

**Angela : **She`s gone weeks without talking to me

**Ana : **And YEARS without talking to me

**Angela : **Yeah but

**Angela : **You deserved it

**-Reaper has decided to blackmail Sigma tonight-**

**Bob : **...

**Angela : **Gonna assume he`s agreeing with me

**Angela : **Thanks Bob

* * *

**DAY THREE**

**(Satya was killed last night.)**

**(She was mauled by a Werewolf.)**

**(We could not find a last will.)**

**(Satya`s role was ESCORT)**

**Hana : **lol she a hoe

**Widowmaker : **Don`t call my girlfriend a hoe.

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **He said that was pretty rude

**Widowmaker : **I don`t care.

**Ashe : **HEY

**Ashe : **DON`T talk down to my best pal like that

**Zarya : **Who cares?

**Zarya : **He`s an omnic.

**Hanzo : **The first time she talks is to be racist.

**Hanzo : **Pretty rude of you.

**Baptiste : **Says a lot about your character!

**Bob to Ashe : **....

**Ashe to Bob : **hey it`s ok buddy she doesn`t mean it :(

**Genji : **Oh btw guys I won

**Genji : **The game just told me to hang Moira

**Genji : **Now I can post pictures of Frumpkin and no one can stop me

**Brigitte : **We wouldn`t have stopped you anyways.

**Brigitte : **Frumpkin is adorable.

**Reaper : **Debatable.

**Angela : **It isn`t.

**Angela : **@Doomfist look at this

**Angela : ***Photo*

**Doomfist : **AWWWW

**Doomfist : **I mean

**Doomfist : **That`s a nice looking cat.

**Genji : **Thank you.

**VOTING TIME**

**Jack : **We literally have nothing

**Sombra : **lmao yeah

**Sombra : **You guys suck

**-Ashe has voted against Jesse-**

**-Jesse has voted against Ashe-**

**-Bob has voted against Zarya-**

**-Hanzo has voted against Zarya-**

**-Genji has voted against Zarya-**

**Zarya : **Stupid omnics >:(

**-Reaper has voted against Genji-**

**IT IS TOO LATE TO CONTINUE VOTING**

**Hana : **wtf are you guys doing

**Hana : **I`ll carry you all I swear

* * *

**NIGHT THREE - JAILOR CHAT**

**Jailor : **ROLE

**Brigitte : **Tracker

**Brigitte : **which is what I`M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING

**Brigitte : **BUT SOME WISE GUY DECIDED TO JAIL ME 

**Jailor : **Jesus

**Jailor : **I`m sorry?

**Brigitte : **Yeah you better be

**Brigitte : ***Photo*

**Brigitte : **Look at this cat

**Brigitte : **It`s sad because of you

**Jailor : **My bad?

**Brigitte : **>:(

* * *

**NIGHT THREE - MAFIA CHAT**

**-Ana has decided to frame Fareeha tonight-**

**Angela : **Can you stop that?

**Ana : **I will when I`m old and dead

**Reaper : **You`re already half of those things

**Ana : **BITCH

**Angela : **And she was both at one point :)

**Bob : **...

**-Bob has decided to attack Brigitte tonight-**

**Angela : **Aren`t we supposed to get along?

**-Reaper has decided to blackmail Doomfist tonight-**

**Reaper : **yeah

**Reaper : **It`s not working.

* * *

**DAY FOUR**

**(Zarya was killed last night.)**

**(She was plundered by a Pirate.)**

**(We could not find a last will.)**

**(Zarya`s role was JESTER)**

**(** **Satya has been brought back to life!)**

**Satya : **I am back.

**Ashe : **SERVES HER RIGHT

**Ashe : **Thanks whoever pirate is

**Ashe : **Dissing my bestie like that

**Jesse : **They have Pirates in this game?

**Jesse : **Awesome :D

**Bob to Ashe : **...

**Ashe to Bob : **Alright thanks for the info buddy

**Brigitte : **DUDE

**Brigitte : **WHICH ONE OF YOU CAT HATERS ATTACKED ME LAST NIGHT

**Hana : **BRIGITTE

**Brigitte : **WHAT CHU WANT HOMIE

**Hana : **IT WAS ANGELA

**Fareeha : **Wait what

**Brigitte : **what

**Angela : **What did I do??

**Hana : **Night three- Angela - SUSPICIOUS 

**Brigitte : **WHAT THE FUCK ANGELA

**Angela : **She`s lying??

**Angela : **I`m just a lowlife doctor!

**Angela : **Murdering people is like the opposite of what I do

**Widowmaker : **As a real life murderer,

**Widowmaker : **I doubt it.

**Angela : **Hey >:(

**Jack : **She`s lying!

**Jack : **I know who the real doctor is!

**Jack : **And it isn`t you!

**Hana : **gg ez

**Hanzo : **What does "ez" mean?

**Jesse : **Extra zing

**Brigitte : **What`s a zing?

**Sigma : **zING

**Sigma : **I LOVE ZInG

**Sigma : **iS niCE woRd

**Jesse : **Thanks?

**VOTING TIME**

**Fareeha to Angela : **You aren`t lying, are you?

**Fareeha to Angela : **You know how I keep grudges.

**Angela to Fareeha : **Would you be mad if I said yes?

**-Fareeha has voted against Angela-**

**-Baptiste has voted against Angela-**

**-Jack has voted against Angela-**

**-Brigitte has voted against Angela-**

**Brigitte : **IF YOU DON`T VOTE HER UP YOU HATE CATS

**-Genji has voted against Angela-**

**Genji : **:D

**-Ashe has voted against Jesse-**

**Jesse : **D:<

**-Jesse has voted against Ashe-**

**-Hana has voted against Angela-**

**-Widowmaker has voted against Angela-**

**(The town has voted against Angela.)**

**(What is your defense?)**

**Angela : **ok.

**Angela : **I know this looks suspicious,

**Angela : **But I really am a doctor

**Angela : **I`m being framed!

**(The town will now decide your fate.)**

**Hana : **lmao no one`s believing that.

**Ashe : **yea

**Ashe : **Even Jesse and he`s a dumbass

**Jesse : **HEY

**Bob : **...

**Sigma : **bYE

**Angela : **FAREEHA PLEASE

**Angela : **IF YOU LOVE ME YOU`LL HELP ME

**Fareeha to Angela : **Sorry, but the Amari family is really competitive :p

**(The town has decided to hang Angela on a 10-4 vote)**

**(Any last words?)**

**Angela : **DAMNIT FAREEHA

**(May God have mercy on your soul, Angela)**

**Baptiste : **Yay, Irony!

**Hana : **BOOM

**(We found a will next to the body)**

**(**":("**)**

**(Angela`s role was MAFIOSO)**

**IT IS TOO LATE TO CONTINUE VOTING**

**Jack : **WE DID SOMETHING RIGHT

**Hana : **NO

**Hana : **IT WAS ALL ME

**Hana : **SCREW YOU

* * *

**NIGHT FOUR - JAILOR CHAT**

**Jailor : **ROLE

**Widowmaker : **Retributionist.

**Jailor : **Um.

**Jailor : **What does that mean?

**Widowmaker : **It means, you imbecile,

**Widowmaker : **I was the one who brought Satya back.

**Jailor : **Oh.

**Jailor : **Well then, good job.

**Widowmaker : **I do not care for you validation.

**Jailor : **Jeez

**Jailor : **I mean, It was a good idea :p

**Jailor : **The bad guys would be stupid to attack her now

**Widowmaker : **I wouldn`t have done if it I thought it was a bad idea.

**Jailor : **OK SHEESH 

**Jailor : **>:(

* * *

**NIGHT FOUR - MAFIA CHAT**

**-Ana was promoted to MAFIOSO-**

**Reaper : **We lost one.

**Ana : **Good.

**Ana : **Now we can kill Fareeha without any complaints

**Reaper : **???

**Reaper : **Why do you want to kill her so bad?

**Reaper : **You used to love her when I was around.

**-Reaper has decided to blackmail Hanzo tonight-**

**Ana : **Things happen.

**Ana : **Like when your daughter over reacts to you faking your own death and shuns you every time she has the chance

**-Bob has decided to attack Fareeha tonight-**

**Ana : **Thank you Bob

**Ana : **Whoever you are

**Reaper : **Don`t agree with her!

**Bob : **...

* * *

**DAY FIVE**

**(Satya was killed last night.)**

**(She was mauled by a Werewolf.)**

**(We found a will next to the body.)**

**("**Looks like a died again. A shame.**")**

**(Satya`s role was ESCORT)**

**(Fareeha was killed last night.)**

**(She was attacked by a member of the mafia.)**

**(We could not find a last will.)**

**(Fareeha`s role was ESCORT)**

**Widowmaker : **...God damnit.

**Hana : **lmao the hoes are dead again

**Widowmaker : **What did I say about calling my girlfriend a hoe?

**Hana : **damnnn i`m talkin bout ingame chilllll

**Doomfist : **I DID SOMETHING!

**Ashe : **Ain`t that Bob`s job?

**Bob to Ashe : **...

**Ashe to Bob ****: **lol yeah buddy :)

**Doomfist : **So I was watching over Fareeha`s house,

**Doomfist : **Never mind you why

**Reaper : **Doom, no.

**Widowmaker : **That sounds sketchy

**Baptiste : **Exactly!

**Baptiste : **Looks like you haven`t changed a bit, man!

**Doomfist : **I`m trying to tell a story!

**Jack : **And the rest of us are waiting for you to finish

**Hana : **yeah dude hurry tf up

**Doomfist : **Rude but

**Doomfist : **I saw who murdered Fareeha!

**Hana : **Oh damn

**Ana : **I bet it was Bob, he`s been super silent this entire game

**Jack : **Ana.

**Jack : **I think this is the first time YOU`VE talked.

**Ana : **Oh yeah

**Doomfist : **IT WAS HER OWN MOTHER

**Doomfist : **DUN DUN DUNNNN

**Reaper : **Drama Queen.

**Doomfist : **Hey now,

**Doomfist : **I`d like to think of myself as more of a Drama Princess.

**Ana : **I didn`t murder my daughter

**Doomfist : **Oh, but you did!

**Brigitte : **Gasp!

**Genji : **Double gasp!

**Ashe : **TRIPLE GASP

**Jesse : **Quadruple gasp

**Hana : **Quintuple gasp

**Sigma : **seXtuPLE 

**Sigma : **gaSp

**Baptiste : **Team gasp! :D

**Jesse : **Good job team :D

**Ana : **WHY WOULD I WANT TO KILL MY OWN DAUGHTER?

**Jack : **Really???

**Jack : **Literally everyone here knows you have a huge grudge against her

**Brigitte to Bob : **Cat test

**Brigitte to Bob : ***Photo*

**Brigitte to Bob : **What do you think of this photo?

**Bob to Brigitte : **...

**Brigitte to Bob : **um

**VOTING TIME**

**-Jack has voted against Ana-**

**-Hanzo has voted against Ana-**

**-Ashe has voted against Ana-**

**-Jesse has voted against Ana-**

**Baptiste : **Hey, I didn`t!

**Baptiste : **Why does she have a huge grudge against her daughter?

**-Brigitte has voted against Ana-**

**Jack : **It`s a long story.

**-Widowmaker has voted against Ana-**

**Baptiste : **It can`t be that bad, I`m sure!

**Jack : **It really is.

**-Doomfist has voted against Ana-**

**(The town has voted against Ana.)**

**(What is your defense?)**

**Ana : **So I might have lied a little,

**Ana : **But Doomfist is lying

**Ana : **Um

**Ana : **I`m not very good at this

**(The town will now decide your fate.)**

**Jack : **You really aren`t.

**Hana : **My God

**Hana : **You guys suck

**Reaper : **Yeah.

**Brigitte to Ashe : **hey.

**Brigitte to Ashe : **What does "..." mean?

**Ashe to Brigitte : **"Cute", why?

**Brigitte to Ashe : **:o

**Brigitte to Ashe : **No reason :)

**Baptiste : **Goodbye, crazy lady

**Baptiste : **I would say more but I literally have no idea who you are.

**Ana : **HEY

**(The town has decided to hang Ana on a 7-0 vote)**

**(Any last words?)**

**Ana : **Looks like I won`t have to fake my death now

**Ana : **So you won`t have to keep a grudge against me

**Ana : **FAREEHA

**(May God have mercy on your soul, Ana)**

**Baptiste : **F

**Hana : **F

**(We found a will next to the body)**

**(**"If you`re reading this I died. Again. And that sucks."**)**

**(Ana`s role was MAFIOSO)**

**Hana : **YESH

**IT IS TOO LATE TO CONTINUE VOTING**

* * *

**NIGHT FIVE - JAILOR CHAT**

**Jailor : **ROLE

**Jailor : **WAIT DAMN IT

**Jailor : **I MEANT TO JAIL REAPER

**Ashe : **WHAT AM I DOING BACK IN HERE

**Jailor : **I`M SORRY

**Ashe : **YEAH YOU BETTER BE

**Ashe : **STOPPING ME FROM HEALING PEOPLE AND SHIT

**Jailor : **I SAID I WAS I SORRY GOD

**Ashe : **GOD

**Jailor : **GOD

**Ashe : **>:(

**Jailor : **>:(

**Ashe : **>>>>>>>>>>:(

* * *

**NIGHT FIVE - MAFIA CHAT **

**-Reaper has decided to frame Genji tonight-**

**Reaper : **Sooo, Bob.

**-Bob has decided to attack Brigitte tonight-**

**Bob : **...

**Bob : **...

**Reaper : **Good talk.

* * *

**DAY SIX**

**(Widowmaker was killed last night.)**

**(She was plundered by a Pirate.)**

**(We could not find a last will.)**

**(Widowmaker`s role was RETRIBUTIONIST)**

**(Brigitte was killed last night.)**

**(She was attacked by a member of the mafia.)**

**(We could not find a last will.)**

**(Brigitte`s role was TRACKER)**

**Hana : **Ok, we need to do a rolecall.

**Jack : **Damn kid lingo

**Jack : **What`s a rolecall?

**Baptiste : **I think it`s when you do a register on something, like in a school!

**Baptiste : **Present, Miss Hana!

**Hana : **what

**Reaper : **Here.

**Jack : **Present

**Ashe : **Howdy how

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **He says sup

**Jesse : **Howdy

**Ashe : **COPYCAT

**Ashe : **SCREW YOU

**Hanzo : **Please don`t.

**Hanzo : **I won, by the way.

**Baptiste : **Explain

**Hanzo : **Well, the game says "plunder 2 people" and I did that.

**Jesse : **Good job Hanzo!

**Jesse : **Proud of ya!

**Ashe : **Yeah, good job bestie

**Bob to Ashe : **...

**Ashe to Bob : **Is that even a question? Of course you come before everyone else buddy :)

**VOTING TIME**

**-Sigma has voted against Genji-**

**Sigma : **DEStRoy thE WEAKliNG

**Hana : **GUYS WE`RE WASTING TIME

**Hana : **WE COULD BE HANGING SOMEONE EVIL

**-Hana has voted against Jesse-**

**Hana : **ROLE

**Ashe : **A dumb ass we`ve already been over this

**Jesse : **STOPBULLYING ME

**Ashe : **Pretty sure he`s evil

**Ashe : **Doomfist protect me

**Reaper : **Forgot he was here

**IT IS TOO LATE TO CONTINUE VOTING**

**Hana : **DAMN YOU GUYS

**Baptiste : **eh, I`m sure we`ll be fine

* * *

**NIGHT SIX - ** **JAILOR CHAT**

**Jailor : **ROLE

**Baptiste : **Doctor.

**-The Jailor has decided to execute Baptiste-**

**Baptiste : **Um.

**Jailor : **LIES

**Jailor : **I KNOW THE REAL DOCTOR

**Baptiste : **Of course you do!

**Baptiste : **He`s right here!

**Baptiste : **They call me Mr.BaptisteTheRealDoctor42 for a very good and specific reason!

**Jailor : **Then why haven`t you saved anyone?

**Baptiste : **It`s called RNG, my small brained friend.

**Baptiste : **There were 19 other people in this town and you just expect me to pick the right one?

**Baptiste : **No no no.

**Jailor : **I`m still executing you.

**Baptiste : **Oh.

**Baptiste : **Well damn, I tried.

* * *

**NIGHT SIX - MAFIA CHAT**

**Reaper : **So Bob.

**Reaper : **I`m thinking Jack would be a good target.

**-Bob has decided to attack Genji tonight-**

**Reaper : **Why do I bother?

**-Reaper has decided to blackmail Jack tonight-**

**Reaper : **I`ll do it myself.

* * *

**DAY SEVEN**

**(Baptiste was killed last night.)**

**(He was executed by the Jailor.)**

**(We found a will next to the body.)**

**("**I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.**")**

**(Baptiste`s role was DOCTOR)**

**(Jack was killed last night.)**

**(He was mauled by a Werewolf.)**

**(We could not find a last will.)**

**(Jack`s role was JAILOR)**

**(Reaper was killed last night.)**

**(He was mauled by a Werewolf.)**

**(We could not find a last will.)**

**(Reaper`s role was BLACKMAILER)**

**Hana : **DAMNIT JACK YOU HAD ONE JOB

**Hana : **ONE

**Doomfist : **Are you ok?

**Hanzo : **I don`t think she enjoys losing.

**Hana : **I`VE BEEN STREAMING THIS

**Hana : **YOU KNOW HOW MUCH RESPECT I`M GONNA LOSE?!

**Jesse : **lmao

**Bob to Ashe : **...

**Ashe to Bob : **Couldn`t agree more, want me to ask him?

**Bob to Ashe : **...

**Ashe to Bob : **alright buddy :)

**Ashe : **YO SIGMA 

**Sigma : **yE

**Ashe : **YOU BAD?

**Sigma : **depEnDS

**Jesse : **is that a yes

**Sigma : **dePEndS

**Hanzo : **I can already hear Moira screaming from the grave.

**Hanzo : **It`s surprising amusing.

**Bob to Ashe : **...

**Ashe to Bob : **I don`t think that was "too direct" 

**Hana : **Finally something good

**Hana : **Vote Sigma unless he claims

**VOTING TIME**

**-Hana has voted against Sigma-**

**-Jesse has voted against Sigma-**

**-Doomfist has voted against Sigma-**

**-Ashe has voted against Sigma-**

**(The town has voted against Sigma)**

**(What is your defense?)**

**Sigma : **I AM WHAT ThE UNiVERsE waNTS ME TO bE

**Sigma : **if THaT`S bAD

**Sigma : **sO be IT

**(The town will now decide your fate.)**

**Ashe : **Hey if you hate Moira vote guilty

**Ashe : **This`ll piss her off

**Jesse : **Bet no one`s gonna inno then

**(The town has decided to hang Sigma on a 5-0 vote)**

**(Any last words?)**

**Sigma : **vICTORY

**(May God have mercy on your soul, Sigma)**

**(THE JESTER WILL GET THEIR REVENGE FROM THE GRAVE)**

**Jesse : **hecc

**Bob : **...

**(We found a will next to the body)**

**(**"YAY"**)**

**(Sigma`s role was JESTER)**

**IT IS TOO LATE TO CONTINUE VOTING**

**Hana : **OH COME ON

* * *

**NIGHT SEVEN - MAFIA CHAT**

**Bob : **...

**Bob : **:D

* * *

**DAY EIGHT**

**(Hanzo died last night.)**

**(He was haunted by the JESTER)**

**(We could not find a last will.)**

**(Hanzo`s role was PIRATE)**

**Ashe : **aw no

**Ashe : **he was so young

**Jesse : **DARN YOU JESTER

**Jesse : **I loved him like a brother ;-;

**Hana : **Aren`t you boyfriends?

**Jesse : **wait

**Jesse : **NOT LIKE THAT

**Ashe : **EWWW

**Hana : **EW

**Doomfist : **Gross.

**Bob : **...

**Jesse : **I DIDN`T MEAN IT LIKE THAT

**Ashe : **Of course Genji doesn`t give a damn lmao

**Doomfist : **He`s still alive?

**Ashe : **yeah?

**Ashe : **Wait.

**Hana : **WHAT IF HE`S JUST PRETENDING TO BE AFK

**Sombra : **Hey, Sombra mod here. Lena`s watching the stream and she wants you to stop using caps?

**Sombra : **She might be high though.

**Jesse : **my god sombra

**Jesse : **no one cares

**Sombra : **Just saying, sheesh :p

**Hana : **GENJI MUST BE THE LAST EVIL THEN

**Hana : **GET HIM

**VOTING TIME**

**Hana : **GO GO GO

**-Hana has voted against Genji-**

**-Ashe has voted against Genji-**

**-Jesse has voted against Genji-**

**(The town has voted against Genji)**

**(What is your defense?)**

**(The town will now decide your fate)**

**Hana : **HE`S JUST PRETENDING TO BE AFK

**Hana : **GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY

**Doomfist : **Am I the only one scared by her?

**Jesse : **nah

**Jesse : **I am too

**(The town has decided to hang Genji on a 2-0 vote)**

**(Any last words?)**

**(May God have mercy on your soul, Genji)**

**Hana : **GG GENJI

**(We found a will next to the body)**

**(**"Hey, I won ages ago and went afk. Here is a picture of Frumpkin to make you feel better. *Photo*"**)**

**(Genji`s role was EXECUTIONER)**

**Hana : **OH FOR FUCKS SAKE

* * *

**NIGHT EIGHT - MAFIA CHAT**

**-Bob has decided to attack Hana tonight-**

**Bob : **...

**Bob : **...

**Bob : **...

* * *

**DAY NINE**

**(Hana was killed last night.)**

**(She was attacked by a member of the Mafia. She was also mauled by a Werewolf.)**

**(We found a will next to the body.)**

**("**FUCK GENJI**")**

**(Hana`s role was SHERIFF)**

**(Doomfist was killed last night.)**

**(He was mauled by a Werewolf.)**

**(We could not find a last will.)**

**(Doomfist`s role was LOOKOUT)**

**(Bob was killed last night.)**

**(He was mauled by a Werewolf)**

**(We found a will next to the body.)**

**("**...**")**

**(** **Bob`s role was GODFATHER)**

**Jesse : **Whoops, didn`t mean to get bob

**Ashe : **MCCREE YOU SONOFABITCH 

**Jesse : **My mom ain`t that bad D:

**Ashe : **YOU JUST KILLED MY BEST FRIEND

**Ashe : **LOOK AT THAT LAST WILL

**Ashe : **LOOK AT IT

**Ashe : **POOR GUY IS POURING HIS HEART OUT AND YOU DON`T EVEN CARE

**Jesse : **I can`t even kill you until night 10

**Jesse : **so can you keep yer whining to a minimum

**Ashe : **FUCK YOU

**Jesse : **nah, the only person I`d do that to is Hanzo.

**Jesse : **But he`s dead.

**Jesse : **I ain`t no necrophiliac

**Ashe : **I can`t even kill YOU until night 10 AS WELL

**Jesse : **You`re a killer?

**Ashe : **YES

**Ashe : **AND EVERYONE I WENT AFTER DIED RIGHT AFTER

**Ashe : **I`M IN AGONY

**Jesse : **lmao you suck

**Sombra : **You guys need some alone time?

**Ashe : **YES

**Jesse : **GET OUT SOMBRA

**Sombra : **lol

**VOTING TIME**

**-Ashe has voted against Jesse-**

**-Jesse has voted against Ashe-**

**Ashe : **DAMNIT

**Ashe : **HOW CAN I AVENGE BOB NOW

**Jesse : **you could just

**Jesse : **join him

**Jesse : **>:)

**IT IS TOO LATE TO CONTINUE VOTING**

**Ashe : **>>>>>:(

* * *

**NIGHT NINE - ???**

**A Medium is talking to you!**

**Orisa : **Hello!

**Ashe : **WHAT 

**-You have decided to douse Jesse tonight-**

**Orisa : **I just wanted to say hello to you.

**Orisa : **You seem quite upset.

**Orisa : **You do remember that this is only a game, correct?

**Ashe : **yee but

**Ashe : **bob

**Orisa : **actually, he told me to tell you:

**Orisa : **"..."?

**Orisa : **I copy and pasted that, and have no idea what it means.

**Ashe : **woah

**Ashe : **that sounds just like him

**Ashe : **k thanks weirdo

**Orisa : **You`re welcome?

**Ashe : **Did you manage to make a friend then?

**Orisa : **Bob seems pretty nice.

**Orisa : **Despite the fact I cannot understand what he is saying.

**Ashe : **BOB?

**Orisa : **Is that bad?

* * *

**DAY TEN**

**Ashe : **Alright McCree listen up

**Ashe : **Bob said he wants us to truce

**Ashe : **For whatever reason

**Ashe : **And you`re always like

**Ashe : **"AW ASHE BUDDY IT DOESN`T HAVE TO ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS"

**Jesse : **Is that accurate?

**Ashe : **maybe

**Ashe : **LOOK ARE WE HAVING A TRUCE OR NOT

**Jesse : **y`know what

**Jesse : **fine

**Jesse : **you`ll be like my ex ex sister

**Sombra : **The negatives cancel each other out

**Jesse : **my god

**Sombra : **so it`d just be sister

**Jesse : **no one cares

**Ashe : **yeah like seriously

**Ashe : **shut up

**Sombra : **rude

**Ashe : **So you`re gonna let me win?

**Jesse : **what?

**Ashe : **um i meant

**Ashe : **you gonna lose with me?

**Jesse : **yeah

**Jesse : **too high for this stuff anyways

**Sombra : **You`ve been high this entire time?

**Jesse : **Yeah why`d you think I barely talked?

**Sombra : **As a strategy?

**Jesse : **lol no

**Ashe : **oh shit

**Jesse : **??

**Ashe : **in irl Bob just told me Zeke got his fukkin head blown off

**VOTING TIME**

**Jesse : **lmao you serious?

**Ashe : **yeah i`m gonna miss that guy

**Jesse : **Really?

**Ashe : **no

**Jesse : **lol

**Jesse : **was gonna say

**Jesse : **that guy was a dick, who would miss him?

**Ashe : **true that

**IT IS TOO LATE TO CONTINUE VOTING**

* * *

**NIGHT TEN - ???**

**-You have decided to rampage at Ashe`s house tonight-**

**Jesse : **sorry Ashe

**Jesse : **I really do wanna become bros again

**Jesse : **but I`m a sore loser

* * *

**NIGHT TEN - ???**

**-You have decided to ignite all of your doused targets-**

**Ashe : **Sorry Bob

**Ashe : **But it`s Jesse

**Ashe : **I gotta :(

* * *

**DAY ELEVEN**

**(Jesse was killed last night.)**

**(He was ignited by an Arsonist.)**

**(We found a will next to the body.)**

**("**Yeah, I expected this, but I`m taking you down with me**")**

**(Jesse`s role was WEREWOLF)**

**(Ashe was killed last night.)**

**(She was mauled by a Werewolf.)**

**(We found a will next to the body.)**

**("**MCCREE YOU SONOFABITCH I`LL NEVER BE YOUR FRIEND AGAIN THE ONLY REASON I HAVEN`T MURDERED YOU YET IS BECAUSE ....**")**

**Sombra : **Jesus, it just keeps going.

**Sombra : **She was arsonist, yada yada.

**Genji, Hanzo and Sigma have won.**

**Sombra : **So let me get this straight.

**Sombra : **This game is supposed to be Mafia vs Town, and both sides lost?

**Sombra : **Only you guys could do this.

**_Baptiste : _**Don`t forget that everyone died!

**Sombra : **Yeah, that too.

**Sombra : **So, did you guys have fun?

**Sombra : **We can play again if you want!

**[Doomfist has left the chat]**

**[Fareeha has left the chat]**

**[Orisa has left the chat]**

**[Satya has left the chat]**

**[Widowmaker has left the chat]**

**[Jesse has left the chat]**

**[Hanzo has left the chat]**

**[Zarya has left the chat]**

**[Reaper has left the chat]**

**[Jack has left the chat]**

**[Baptiste has left the chat]**

**[Angela has left the chat]**

**[Moira has left the chat]**

**[Sigma has left the chat]**

**[Ashe has left the chat]**

**[Brigitte has left the chat]**

**Sombra : **Guys?

**_Genji : _**Hey, I`m back.

_**Genji : **_We done here?

**Sombra : **Yeah :p

**Sombra : **I don`t think they found it fun

**Sombra : **Which kinda sucks, cause it was funny watching them being idiots

_**Genji : **_Yeah, I can imagine.

_**Genji : **_But I found it fun!

**Sombra : **You`ve been afk for most of the game!

_**Genji : **_Exactly!

_**Genji : **_I still won, didn`t I?

_**Genji : **_*Photo*

_**Genji : **_I`ve been doing important stuff

_**Genji : **_Look at Frumpkin :D

**Sombra : **You might be a little obsessed with that cat

**Sombra : **Maybe cut back a bit

**_Genji : _**I have good reason!

**Sombra : **:o

**Sombra : **Secrets?

_**Genji : **_Yeah.

**_Genji : _**You a snitch?

**Sombra : **Not really.

**Sombra : **I`ve never told anyone that Reaper is afraid of fans.

_**Genji : **_Wait really?

**Sombra : **Oops

**Sombra : **Pretend I didn`t say that.

**_Genji : _**I won`t tell anyone, 

_**Genji : **_Not a snitch like you

**Sombra : **:o

**Sombra : **bro

_**Genji : **_bro

**Hana : **This is too Hetero for me

**Hana : **I`m leaving

**[Hana has left the chat]**

_**Genji :**_Um.

_**Genji : **_Ok.

**_Genji : _**Like I was gonna say

**_Genji : _**I hope no one else is lurking around

**Sombra : **Tell me the secrets

**_Genji :_** Actually,

** _Genji :_ ** I`ll tell you if you help me out first ;)

**Sombra :** ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**Sombra : **It doesn`t require manual labor does it?

_**Genji : **_Do you consider moving your fingers labor?

**Sombra : **yeah duh

**Sombra : **that requires you to move

_**Genji : **_You don`t even need to get out of your chair??

**Sombra : **It`s still effort!

_**Genji : **_whatever

_**Genji : **_Look at this *Photo*

**Sombra : **What chu got pictures of my Brotiste for?

_**Genji :** _I just found it online

_**Genji : **_Why didn`t you tell me you had fit friends??

**Sombra : **What.

**Sombra : **You want me to hook you up with my bro?

_**Genji : **_Hell yeah :D

**Sombra : **Fineeee

**Sombra : **I`ve already got the best plan ever

**Sombra : **But you better be good to him or you`ll wish you were never born :)

_**Genji : **_0_o

_**Genji : **_message received

**Sombra : **NOW TELL ME THE SECRET ALREADY

**_Genji : _**Ok, ok :)

**-Genji is whispering to Sombra-**

**Sombra : **=O

**Sombra : **bruh

_**Genji : **_Sombruh

**_Genji : _**You promise you won`t tell anyone?

**Sombra : **eeeeehhhh

**_Genji :_ **Please don`t.

**Sombra : **Not like I need to, they`ll find out eventually

**_Genji :_ **eeeeeeehhhhh

**_Genji :_ **Yeah, that`s true

**Sombra : **Hey bro

_**Genji : **_Yeah bro?

**Sombra : **Wanna meet up for some tacos?

_**Genji : **_Sure bro :)

**Sombra : **:)

**[Sombra has left the chat]**

**[Genji has left the chat]**

_**Ana : **_Damnit

**_Ana :_ **Grandma just wanted some juicy gossip.

_**Bob : **_...

_**Ana : **_I know, Bob.

**_Ana : _**I know. :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here`s the role list:
> 
> Hana-Sheriff (Town)  
Jack-Jailor(Town)  
Baptiste-Doctor(Town)  
Widowmaker-Retributionist(Town)  
Doomfist-Lookout(Town)  
Moira-Bodyguard(Town)  
Fareeha-Escort(Town)  
Orisa-Medium(Town)  
Brgitte-Tracker(Town)  
Satya-Escort(Town)
> 
> Bob-Godfather(Mafia)(Immune)  
Ana-Framer(Mafia)  
Angela-Mafioso(Mafia)  
Reaper-Blackmailer(Mafia)
> 
> Ashe-Arsonist(Neutral)(Immune)  
Jesse-Werewolf(Neutral)(Immune)  
Zarya + Sigma-Jester(Neutral)  
Genji-Executioner(Neutral)(Immune)  
Hanzo-Pirate(Neutral)
> 
> Sombra`s the mod, basically just lets people know what`s what.
> 
> WE`RE GOING BIG OR GOING HOME


	10. (Happy) Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a birthday party is planned.
> 
> ...And goes as well as you`d expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chocolate cake is the best and I will fight everyone on this

**Genji : ***Photo*

**Genji : **got her some lil boots :)

**Angela : **No offence, but why does he start off every convo with a cat picture?

**Genji : **She`s not just some cat Angela

**Genji : **She`s the best cat ;-;

**Brigitte : **Debatable 

**Genji : **I will fight you over this, Brigitte

**Jack :** I swear you already did?

**Jack : **And Genji got his ass beat?

**Angela : **No, pretty sure Hanzo beat his ass.

**Brigitte : **Pretty sure we both did

**Brigitte : **At different times over 2 different things

**Brigitte : **He can get pretty unlikable 

**Baptiste : **Damn.

**Baptiste : **Is this the Moira equivalent of Overwatch?

**Ashe : **God no

**Ashe : **At least with Genji i can bare standing in the same room as him

**Genji : **Thanks?

**Genji : **But all the ass whooping kinda blends together

**Genji : **It`s gotten flat at this point

**Baptiste : **A moment of silence for Genji`s ass, please.

**[Jesse has entered the chat]**

**Jesse : **GUYS BIG PROBLEM

**Baptiste : **Never mind

**Hana : **Daddy issues again, Jesse?

**Jesse : **What no

**Jesse : **I know who my dad is :)

**Reaper : **I give up.

**Hana : **wdym you give up?

**Hana : **You can`t just bail now

**Reaper : **I`ve never committed to Jesse in the first place!

**Hana : **That explains a lot :/

**Jesse : **guys halp

**Jesse : **I need to plan an event in under 24 hours

**Jesse : **And it`s gotta be awesome

**Ashe : **Seriously?

**Ashe : **Who tries to plan an event in 24hrs?

**Ashe : **And you wonder why your title of the king of dumbasses has never been questioned

**Jesse : **FOR THE LAST TIME ASHE

**Jesse : **I AIN`T A DUMBASS

**Sigma : **bACK tO ThE aSS

**Fareeha : **Guys, I`ve been gone for two minutes, what`s with the ass talk?

**Sigma : **miSTAkEs HaPpeN

**Jack : **Why the hell is he still here?

**Sigma : **i hAVE evErY RigHt tO be HerE

**Jack : **Technically you don`t.

**Jack : **This is an overwatch chat.

**Ashe : **Then why am I here???

**Sombra : **Hanzo invited you

**Ashe : **Wait why the hell was I invited?

**Ashe : **This is like the worst mistake one could make

**Jesse : **GUYS BACK TO MY PROBLEM

**Jesse : **CAN YALL HELP A BROTHER OUT?

**Sombra : **no

**Angela : **No.

**Fareeha : **If Jesse was my actual brother, I think I`d have bigger problems on my hands then helping him

**Ashe :** In what alternate universe would we help you out?

**Jesse : **It`s for Hanzo :(

**Ashe : **gasp

**Ashe : **never mind what do you need

**Baptiste : **Who`s Hanzo?

**Genji :** Oh Baptiste

**Genji : **We have so much to catch on

**Lena : **i hate it when you guys beat about the bush

**Lena :** Like ffs Jesse just tell us what you need and we will decide your fate

**Reaper : **'Decide your fate'

**Angela :** Lena are you ok?

**Lena : **do i sound ok to you Angela??

**Jack : **We can`t hear you.

**Lena : **exactly

**Jack : **What

**Lena : **exactly

**Jesse : **Ok.

**Jesse : **So I totally forgot that tomorrow is Hanzo`s birthday

**Jesse : **And I wanna be a good person so what the hell do I do??

**Baptiste : **Just get him a card or something??

**Jesse : **I`m very extra

**Jesse : **You should know this by now

**Baptiste : **This is literally my first conversation in this chat.

**Jesse : **Irrelevant

**Hana :** You can tell he`s extra from the first moment you meet him

**Jesse : **:D

**Hana : **But in person.

**Hana : **He literally thinks he`s a real life cowboy lmao

**Jesse : **Whattttt?

**Jesse : **That`s cause I am :)

**Hana : **My point exactly

**Ashe : **And he dresses like one

**Ashe : **And acts like a drama queen about it

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **What do you mean 'I`m one to talk'???

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **SURE I DRESS LIKE ONE BUT AT LEAST I`M NOT DRAMATIC ABOUT IT >:(

**Ashe : **AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE BOB

**Baptiste :** So Sombra, you know how I said I`d ignore all the crazies? 

**Sombra : **Yeahhhh?

**Baptiste : **It`s getting really hard.

**Sombra :** I know how you feel Brotiste :(

**Jesse : **Guysssss

**Jesse : **I gotta go soon

**Jesse : **Help me :(

**Hana : **Sorry Jesse you`re beyond help

**Jesse : **Woooow

**Jesse : **Original

**Jesse : **You know how many times i`ve heard that?

**Fareeha : **Jesse, that just proves her point :/

**Jesse : **Oh.

**Jesse : **LOOK JUST HELP ME PLAN THIS DAMN PARTY

**Lena : **:o

**Lena : **Hanzo`s having a party??

**Jesse : **Hopefully?

**Jesse : **I ain`t never planned a party though 

**Lena : **I can be the magician!

**Jesse : **Hanzo doesn`t need a magician

**Lena : **The guests probably will

**Lena : **All of your friends have the mental age of 11

**Lena :** Including me

**Angela : **Lena, do you know any magic tricks?

**Lena : **Emily says I`ve got the magic touch ;)

**Jesse :** ew

**Hana : **ew

**Lena :** But besides that

**Lena : **I can make a mean balloon animal

**Lena : **And I`ve made a few people disappear in my time

**Jesse : **Oh good

**Jesse : **Wait disappear?

**Lena : **Still looking for mom ;-;

**Hana :** Oof

**Angela : **She`s not the only one in here with parental problems

**Ashe : **Same

**Baptiste : **Same

**Sombra : **same

**Jesse : **same

**Genji : **same

**Hana : **For once I feel different but in a good way :)

**Hana : **yay for parents

**Jesse : **Alright Lena can be a magician

**Lena : **I expect payment in coffee

**Lena : **And money

**Lena : **but mostly coffee

**Jesse : **Ok?

**Ashe : **You`ve brought a damn magician but you still have no idea where it`s gonna be, do you?

**Jesse : **Wait

**Jesse : **Shit i forgot about that

**Ashe : **Dumbass :/

**Sigma : **reTuRN oF tHE aSs tALK

**Baptiste : **And when asses are around, Sigma is!

**Sigma : **HE gEts mE

**Jesse : **Uh huh.

**Jesse : **Sigma, wanna go to a party?

**Sigma : **i Won`T hAVe TO tALk aBOUt EsCape VelOciTy wiLl I?

**Jesse : **um

**Jesse : **Only if you want to?

**Sigma : **pHew

**Sigma : **i`M iN

**Sigma : **aNYOnE iN pAtICUlAr I shoulD KEeP oUt?

**Jesse : **Well Genji for one

**Genji : **Whatt?

**Genji : **What if I want to just say hi to my brother?

**Genji : **Yknow, reconnect or whatever?

**Fareeha :** Genji we don`t have to talk about the snowball massacre do we?

**Fareeha : **That was less then a month ago

**Genji : **YOU GAVE IT A NAME???!

**Baptiste : **All important historical events have names!

**Genji : **No offense but you weren`t even around when that happened

**Genji :** Wait historical event?

**Genji ****: **All it was was me getting my ass beat

**Sigma : **iS thAT aN ASS I hEaR

**Lena** : hehe 'was was'

**Lena : **sounds like a confused bee

**Angela : **And you sound like a drunk Lena.

**Lena :** Maybe I am ;)

**Baptiste : **I still saw it.

**Baptiste : **Everyone did

**Genji : **Wait what

**Genji : **how

**Ashe : **I might have paid Lucio to record the whole thing

**Ashe : **And I might have shown it to literally everyone

**Genji : **what

**Genji : **WHAT

**Hana : **Oh yeahhh

**Hana : **No offence Genji but you looked like a total dumbass

**Sigma :** ;)

**Hana :** And all the comments seem to think so

**Genji : **COMMENTS??

**Genji : **Oh kuso

**Genji :** i have um stuff to do

**Genji : **Bye

**[Genji has left the chat]**

**Hana :** lol

**Ashe : **Jesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

**Jesse :** Whattttttttt?

**Ashe : **Booked a venue for the party, talk about the details later.

**Jesse : **Um.

**Jesse : **What?

**Ashe :** ?

**Fareeha :** I`m not the only one that thinks that`s really out of character?

**Angela : **Yeah Ashe

**Angela : **Wtf

**Ashe : **OH SO I CAN`T HELP BOOK MY FRIEND`S PARTY???

**Ashe : **WHAT THE FUCK GUYS >:(

**Jesse : **And she`s back :)

**Ashe : **I GOTTA BE LOUD ALL THE TIME DO I??

**Ashe : **MCCREES A BITCH BUT HANZO`S MY BOY

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN >:(

**Ashe : **LISTEN HERE JESSE YOU ASS

**[Ashe has been kicked for 2 minutes]**

**Jesse : **Thanks Zen gods

**Jesse : **Wherever you are

**Zenyatta : **Everywhere.

**Zenyatta :** And nowhere.

**Jesse : **0_o

**Baptiste : **Hey Sombra, is this normal?

**Sombra : **pretty much :/

**Baptiste : **Yikes.

**Jesse :** Moving swiftly on

**Jesse : **Sigma wanna be a bouncer?

**Sigma : **yEH

**Brigitte :** Why do we need a bouncer??

**Jesse : **To keep all the crazies out duh :/

**Baptiste : **What?

**Baptiste : **Then how are you gonna have a party if everyone you invite isn`t allowed in?

**Jesse : **Wow ok rude

**Jesse : **Who even is this guy??

**Baptiste :** Wanted by talon!

**Baptiste :** And overwatch!

**Baptiste : **But you both suck soooooo

**Sombra : **Very true Brotiste :')

**Reaper : **Sombra.

**Sombra : **I mean

**Sombra : **Talon is awesome etc

**Reaper : **Good.

**Jesse : **OMG DAD

**Jesse : **YOU CAN COME TO THE PARTY AND MEET MY BOYFRIEND

**Reaper : **Why would I want to do that?

**Jesse : **Because you love me <3

**Reaper : **lol

**Reaper : **Thanks, I needed a laugh today.

**[Reaper has left the chat]**

**Jesse : **I`ll save him a spot :)

**Fareeha :** Oh Jesse

**Fareeha : **You sad, sad, sad man.

**Jesse : **Excuse me

**Jesse :** I`m pretty happy right now what you saying :)

**Fareeha : **that`s

**Fareeha : **That`s not what that means

**[Ashe has entered the chat]**

**Ashe : **I`M BACK BITCHES

**Ashe :** AND I ORDERED SOME DRINKS FOR THE PARTY

**Ashe : **LOVE ME

**Hana : **Aw hell yeah

**Hana : **Brig can we gooo?

**Brigitte : **But you`re like a lightweight with no limits

**Hana : **That makes it more fun :)

**Brigitte : **For you.

**Brigitte : **Remember last time you got drunk and it took you three hours to get you home?

**Hana : **That`s not too bad?

**Brigitte : **HOME WAS LITERALLY DOWN THE STREET

**Hana : **Fineeee :(

**Fareeha : **Damn.

**Fareeha : **Now I feel suddenly inclined to clear my schedule tomorrow

**Jesse : **Oh yeah that`s a good point

**Jesse : **Who`s coming?

**Angela :** You don`t know???

**Jesse : **I literally started planning this today what do you think??

**Ashe : **We`ve got enough room for 10, short notice and all :p

**Jesse : **Well 5 of us are confirmed already soo

**Lena : **oh boy

**Lena : **I can`t wait to go to a party with 4 other people

**Jesse : **Me, Hanzo, Lena, Sigma, and dad.

**Brigitte : **He literally said he wasn`t coming???

**Jesse : **Nah, he likes to joke around :)

**Sombra : **He literally doesn`t but ok.

**Lena :** I`m bringing Emily

**Lena : **So that`s one person coming that can at least do simple math

**Angela :** Heyyyy, I wanna come.

**Jesse : **Why?

**Angela :** Me and Hanzo are close

**Jesse : **No you`re not

**Jesse : **You`re just there for the booze

**Angela : **Look, Angela needs a break once in a while.

**Angela : **Looking after a bunch of dps can take a toll on someone

**Jesse :** That`s gonna be a hard no

**Fareeha : **Can I come Jesse?

**Jesse : **Whyyyyyyy?

**Fareeha : **For the booze obviously

**Fareeha : **But at least I`m honest :)

**Jesse : **Welp

**Jesse : **My mama says honesty is the best policy so welcome aboard :)

**Angela : **wtf??

**Fareeha : **And I`m bringing Angela as my +1

**Jesse :** ...

**Angela :** I knew there was a reason I kept you around :)

**Fareeha : **Only the one reason? ;)

**Angela : **;)

**Lena : **ew

**Bob :** ...

**Ashe : **Bob says he wants to come

**Jesse : **yee but

**Jesse : **You and Bob are like two yees in a haw

**Baptiste : **What

**Ashe : **DON`T DO THIS TO SPITE ME MAN

**Ashe : **DO IT FOR BOB :(

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **YEAH THAT`S RIGHT YOU TELL HIM >:(

**Jesse : **Fiiiiine

**Jesse : **For Bob, not you

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **:D

**Jesse : **So that`s nine

**Jesse : **Who else wants to come?

**Jack : **Jesse.

**Jesse : **Don`t tell me you wanna come

**Jesse : **No offence but I don`t think dad wants to see you

**Jack : **HE`S NOT YOUR DAD

**Hana : **Ok gramps

**Jack : **Shut up Hana

**Hana : **:(

**Jack : **What I was gonna say was

**Jack : **In this time, Ashe has gotten us a room, and a bunch of alcohol

**Jesse : **Andddd?

**Jack : **And you`ve got us a caffeine high magician

**Jack : **And a mentally unstable bouncer.

**Sigma : **I`m NoT meNtALy uNStAble :(

**Angela : **Anyone who types like that probably is

**Sigma : **sHUT Up ANgELA >:(

**Angela : **Coward

**Jesse** : OH YEAH WELL

**Jesse : **um

**Jesse : **BET ASHE FORGOT TO ORDER SOME SAKE

**Ashe : **I brought a whole crate of the stuff ;)

**Jesse : **SHIT

**Ashe : **Because unlike you, I actually remember shit about Hanzo

**Jesse : **:O

**Jesse : **YOU TAKE THAT BACK

**Angela : **How can you take back a fact?

**Angela : **You said you remembered his birthday today

**Angela : **Aaaaand it`s tomorrow.

**Jesse : **DAMNIT ANGELA I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE

**Angela : **When did I say that?

**Jesse :** 15 YEARS AGO

**Angela : **um

**Angela : **That`s a long time

**Jesse : **But I never forgot ;-;

**Ashe : **Sooooo Jesse

**Ashe : **Now that I`ve basically carried your party

**Ashe : **Can I come? :)

**Jesse : **What?

**Jesse : **HELL NO

**Ashe : **:O

**Ashe : **WHYYYYYYYYY?????????????

**Jesse : **You`re ASHE

**Jesse : **That word alone is like 15 red flags all at once

**Ashe : **So I can`t come?

**Jesse : **No.

**Ashe : **Fine then

**Ashe : **Be right back

**[Ashe has left the chat]**

**Jesse : **where did she go

**Lena : **my bets on somewhere on this planet

**Jesse : **Oh thanks Lena

**Jesse : **Because narrowing it down to an ENTIRE planet is EXACTLY what I need

**Fareeha : **I can narrow it down for you

**Jesse : **Where????

**Fareeha : **Well, she was hanging with me this entire time

**Fareeha : **Me and you are on the same base

**Fareeha : **And she just stormed out of my room.

**Fareeha :** That`s all the clues you`re getting, sorry.

**Jesse : **oh no

**Jesse : **ok fine she can come

**Jesse : **NO sheadn caNT`aas

**Jesse : **helppiojojoknkad

**Angela : **Is he ok?

**Jesse : **BITCH STOLE MY PHONE

**Jesse : **DONAFSASFOHNASDNUOHASDFOUBASOD

**Jesse :** HELPPPPPPPas

**[Jesse has left the chat]**

**Fareeha : **Oh shit

**Fareeha : **Why do I hear what sounds like a scared cowboy?

**Lena : **He`ll be fiiiine

**Lena :** well he better be

**Lena : **I wanna get paid

**Angela :** And I want to have a break :p

**Fareeha :** What`s stopping us?

**Fareeha : **We`re adults!

**Fareeha : **Who can do adult things

**Fareeha : **Let`s get drunk!

**[Hanzo has joined the chat]**

**Hanzo : **Hello.

**Lena : **Oh heyyy

**Lena : **The man of the hour

**Hanzo : **What does that mean?

**Lena : **nothing

**Hanzo : **Ok.

**Hanzo : **Has anyone seen Jesse?

**Hanzo : **He has stopped replying to my calls and I am worried.

**Angela : **nope

**Fareeha : **Haven`t seen him sorry

**Lena : **Jesse who

**Hana : **He`s getting beat up by ashe right now so you might have to wait

**Hanzo : **What?

**Angela : **HANA

**Hana : **What?

**Hana : **Jesse`s mom said honesty is the best policy and i`m inclined to believe her

**Hanzo : **Is he ok?

**Angela : **Don`t worry, she was just kidding

**Hana : **no i wasn`t

**Fareeha : **They`re PLAY FIGHTING 

**Fareeha : **all in good fun :)

**Hanzo : **Oh.

**Hanzo : **Well then, good to see they are finally getting along again.

**Fareeha : **uh huh

**Fareeha : **Wanna get drunk with us?

**Hanzo : **Sure.

**[Hanzo has left the chat]**

**[Fareeha has left the chat]**

**[Angela has left the chat]**

**[Lena has left the chat]**

**Hana : **Briggg 

**Hana : **Can I come??

**Brigitte : **Are you gonna drink?

**Hana : **yes

**Hana : **Honesty is the best policy

**Brigitte : **Then no >:)

**[Brigitte has left the chat]**

**Hana : **:(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Sir Saddman' asked me about how I portray characters. So if you`re interested, read, I guess? Also, kudos to them.
> 
> Basically, you can already tell that everyone in this chat is the definition of not normal. It`s kinda like... and exaggeration of their characteristics? Like Brig, for example, likes cats. But in this, she`s obsessed to the point people are concerned. Like that! Saddman asked about Lena, Jack and Ashe in particular sooo...
> 
> Lena. She`s super happy and cheerful all the time in cannon. But in this, it`s like she`s a retail worker on permanent break. Need C O F F E E
> 
> Jack. He`s the grumpy old grandpa who tries to be professional. But unlike Winston, he can handle the chat`s craziness. Barely. But he tries his best.
> 
> Ashe. So you know where ever she sees Jesse she`s full on angry? She`s like that, but all the time. >:(
> 
> Thanks for the question, Saddman! Feel free to ask whatever, no matter how weird. This chat is weird.


	11. The photo that started a mini war (Pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sombra accidentally leaks private times and everyone hates each other

**Genji :** *Photo*

**Widowmaker : **Can you stop?

**Genji : ***Photo*

**Genji : **no 

**Jack : **I swear this chat had a purpose at some point

**Brigitte : **Who cares

**Brigitte : **It`s been given a better one

**Hana : **Yeah keep em coming genji

**Hana : **It makes Brig happy

**Brigitte : **awww

**Brigitte : **<3

**Hana : **(And the viewers)

**Brigitte : **Wait what

**Hana : **What

**Genji : ***Photo*

**Genji : **:) 

**Zenyatta :** Genji.

**Genji : **Yes?

**Zenyatta : **Please stop.

**Zenyatta : **I don`t want to have to ban you for spam.

**Genji : **Master please ;-;

**Brigitte : **DON`T LISTEN TO HIM GENJI

**Brigitte : **That cat deserves to be shared with the world

**Genji : **Thank you :)

**Zenyatta : **Please don`t encourage him.

**Brigitte : **THEY CAN`T STOP US ALL

**Sombra : **There`s literally 2 of you

**Brigitte : **That`s enough for me

**Brigitte : ***Photo*

**Genji :** *Photo*

**Sombra : **Eh 

**Sombra : **What the hell

**Sombra : ***Photo*

**Genji : **EW

**Brigitte : **AH

**Sombra : **??

**Jack : **WHAT.

**Jack : **THE HELL.

**Zenyatta :** I believe you sent the wrong photo

**Sombra :** Wait

**Sombra : **wroNG PHOTO

**Sombra : **Ignore that blackmail pls

**Hana : **MY POOR VIRGIN EYES

**Lena : **too late

**Brigitte : **@ANGELA @FAREEHA EXPLAIN

**Fareeha : **Hello?

**Angela : **Someone explain?

**Brigitte :** *Photo*

**Brigitte : **This photo scarred my gf

**Fareeha : **Oh shit.

**Fareeha : **Where did you get that?

**Angela : **OH WHAT THE FUCK

**Sombra : **I said I was sorry

**Zenyatta : **You didn`t.

**Sombra : **oh well

**Sombra : **sorry

**Sombra :** damn wikileaks

**Angela : **WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT???

**Fareeha : **From our bedroom duh,

**Fareeha : **You can see it in the background

**Angela : **FAREEHA I SWEAR TO GOD

**Zarya :** Do not swear to me.

**Mei :** Can I swear at you?

**Zarya : **Of course you can.

**Zarya : **I encourage it :)

**Mei : **<3

**Zarya : **<3

**Angela :** WHERE DID YOU COME FROM

**Mei : **I lurk behind jack

**Jack :** Wait, what?

**Mei : **Wait what

**Ana : **Please tell me Jack turned around

**Jack : **that isn`t important.

**Hana :** lmao he totally did

**Jack : **No.

**Zarya : **I lurk in the shadows.

**Reaper : **Edgy, much?

**Jack :** Coming from you.

**Reaper : **At least when i`m edgy it`s cool.

**Jack : **Looks like Reyes adopted a kid and taught them the way of edge

**Reaper :** We don`t use that name here

**Jesse : **Wait what 

**Jesse : **I`m not edgy

**Jesse : **Papa didn`t raise no edgelord

**Ashe : **You are a bit

**Jesse : **>:(

**Reaper : **How many times do I have to say it?

**Reaper : **I

**Reaper : **AM

**Reaper : **NOT

**Reaper : **YOUR 

**Reaper : **DAD

**Jesse : **Ok dadcree

**Reaper : **STOP

**Sombra : **This has been fun :)

**Angela : **HEY

**Sombra : **??

**Angela : **I`m not done with you

**Sombra : **you still salty about that photo?

**Angela : **No I`m not

**Sombra : **Really?

**Angela : **OF COURSE I AM

**Sombra : **You shouldn`t.

**Sombra : **Take a page outta Fareeha`s book

**Fareeha : **Nah.

**Fareeha : **My book is just a 50 page essay on why mom sucks

**Ana : **FAREEHA 

**Ana : **Don`t talk about your mother like that.

**Hanzo :** May i ask,

**Hanzo : **What photo?

**Sombra : ***Photo*

**Sombra : **That one

**Angela : **Don`t POST IT AGAIN WTF

**Sombra : **I mean it`s out there now

**Sombra : **Might as well encourage it

**Hanzo : **Oh my.

**Ashe : **Damnnn

**Ashe : **You know it`s bad when it makes hanzo say oh my

**Ashe : **I AM SCARRED

**Hana : **Ikr?

**Lena : **F

**Hanzo : **What does "Ikr" mean?

**Jesse :** I kill radishes 

**Ashe : **I kill Reyes

**Hanzo : **Um.

**Jesse : **Wait

**Jesse : **Don`t talk shit bout dadcree

**Reaper : **Oh ffs

**Ana : **Okay.

**Ana : **Fareeha

**Fareeha : **whatttttt

**Ana : **We need to talk

**Fareeha : **Well yeah

**Fareeha : **We have like 15 years to catch up on

**Ana :** That`s NOT what I meant

**Fareeha :** :)

**Sombra : **It`s true though

**Ana : **Shut up Sombra

**Ana : **What kind of a name is that?

**Sombra : **yeah well

**Sombra : **What kind of a name is Soldier: 76?

**Jack : **Don`t throw me under the bus.

**Lena : **More like under the bomb

**Lena :** get it

**Lena : **Cause yknow he blew up

**Lena : **And died kinda

**Zenyatta : **We understand.

**Lena : **k thanks jesus 

**Ana :** Fareeha 

**Fareeha : **WHATTT

**Ana : **We need to talk about that photo

**Fareeha : **I thought we were over that

**Angela : **I`M NOT

**Angela : **Why do you think I haven`t been typing?

**Angela : **I`m going over to kick Sombra`s ass

**Sombra : **lol

**Angela : **And I brought coffee

**Sombra : **uh oh

**Sombra :** Be right back

**Fareeha : **Well

**Fareeha : **I thought everyone besides Angela was over it

**Ana : **Lets just say,

**Ana : **I`ve been through war

**Ana : **And I thought my eyes had seen the worst

**Ana : **But oh god was I wrong.

**Widowmaker : ***Eye.

**Ana :** DON`T YOU EVEN START

**Ana : **Stupid Widow

**Widowmaker : **Creative.

**Lena : **I just call her widowbitch

**Ana : **WIDOWBITCH

**Ana : **Yeah I like that

**Satya :** Don`t call my girlfriend such a horrid name.

**Lena : **And 'Widowmaker' isn`t horrific???

**Satya : **Not to me.

**Widowmaker : **Thank you.

**Satya : **<3

**Widowmaker : **Be right back.

**Widowmaker : **I must finish the job.

**Satya :** </3

**Ana : **OH YOU CAN TRY IT

**Ana : **I wanna kick your ass as much as you wanna kick mine

**Fareeha :** ew

**Angela : **K I`m back

**Angela : **Don`t be surprised if you don`t hear from Sombra for a while

**Lena :** what did you do???

**Fareeha : **Did you kick her ass?

**Fareeha : **Please tell me you kicked her ass

**Angela : **Something like that.

**Fareeha : **My god

**Fareeha : **I`m so proud <3

**Angela : **Thanks?

**Hana :** OMG

**Hana : **Sombra I need you to find someone

**Hana : **Wait

**Hana : **ANGELA WTF

**Jesse : **lol

**Hana : **I NEEDED HER

**Brigitte : **Why??

**Hana : **Stream sniper w/ aimbot

**Widowmaker : **What`s an aimbot?

**Ana : **WIDOWBITCH GET BACK HERE

**Ana : **You can`t escape JUSTICE

**Widowmaker : **I`ve done it before.

**Fareeha : **Mom wtf

**Fareeha : **Justice is my thing

**Fareeha : **Back off

**Ana :** Not now Fareeha >:(

**Ashe : **HEY

**Ashe : **YELLING BACK OFF AGGRESSIVELY IS MY THING SO BACK THE FUCK OFF

**Fareeha : **Not now sistah

**Hana : **Hello?

**Hana : **My problem needs solving 

**Widowmaker : **So does mine.

**Widowmaker : **I`m trying to shoot hijab lady,

**Widowmaker : **But she keeps hopping around like a rabbit on crack.

**Ana : **Nice one

**Ana : **We found one of her secrets

**Ana :** When in doubt, hop away

**Widowmaker : **How are you hopping and texting?

**Ana : **How are you breathing and talking?

**Widowmaker : **?

**Widowmaker : **I just do?

**Ana : **WELL I JUST DO

**Jack : **What the fuck is even going on anymore?

**Zenyatta : **Everyone is mad at each other.

**Zenyatta : **Widow and Ana are fighting,

**Zenyatta : **And I believe Sombra was beaten up?

**Zenyatta : **Did I get everything?

**Lena :** not even close

**Hanzo : **And it all started because of a photo.

**Satya : **What photo?

**Hanzo : ***Photo*

**Angela : **HANZO

**Hanzo : **Yes?

**Angela : **WHYYYYY

**Hanzo : **She asked.

**Satya : **How unsightly.

**Jesse : **ew

**Hana : **Yeahhhh Angela 

**Hana : **about that

**Fareeha : **"that"

**Genji : **At this point Angela has done a lot of wrong

**Genji : **So you might need to specify

**Angela : **OK

**Angela : **Guess who isn`t getting any heals on the next mission

**Genji : **You?

**Angela : **shit

**Angela : **Besides me

**Genji :** :(

**Fareeha :** *Photo*

**Fareeha : **Getting my gf a present for beating someone up

**Fareeha : **So proud <3

**Angela : **Thank gott

**Angela : **I need all the help i can get

**Jack : **Um

**Jack : **Aren`t we supposed to discourage that type of behavior?

**Hana : **Coming from the vigilante

**Jack : **Hana...

**Hana : **MY GODD

**Hana : **This guy

**Hana : **Someone please gimme emotional support

**Brigitte : **Bit busy sorry :(

**Hana : **what

**Hana : **what is more important then making your gf feel better

**Brigitte : **The cats need feeding :p

**Hana : **THE CATS CAN WAIT GODDAMNIT

**Brigitte : **:o

**[Brigitte has left the chat]**

**Hana : **why do i hear boss music

**Lucio : **Hey don`t look at me

**Lucio : **I`m not even on base

**Hana : **uh oh 0_o

**Jesse : **Yeah you`re screwed

**Ashe : **Says you

**Jesse : **??

**Ashe : **Hanzo`s away so i`m using the chance to rob you :)

**Jesse :** WHY????

**Ashe : **YOU STILL OWE ME 40 BUCKS FROM THAT POKER GAME, ASSHOLE

**Ashe : **And i`m getting it one way or another

**Jesse : **You can try :)

**Hanzo : **Jesse owes you money?

**Hanzo : **You could of just told me, I would have happily paid you.

**Jesse : **Don`t pay that witch a CENT if you truly love me

**Ashe : **Without any proof?

**Hanzo : **I would have believed you.

**Hanzo : **And I love both of you.

**Hanzo : **But in different ways, obviously.

**Jesse : **BETRAYAL

**Ashe : **Oh hanzo

**Ashe : **You`re too precious for this world

**Hana :** (The guy that killed Genji = precious)

**[Genji has left the chat]**

**Hana : **LOL

**[Doomfist has entered the chat]**

**Doomfist : **Hello?

**Mei : **Hi :)

**Zarya : **ew doomfist

**Doomfist : **Ew Zarya

**Doomfist : **Can I ask a question?

**Jesse : **You just did

**Jesse : **:)

**Doomfist : **Ok listen here you little shit

**Doomfist : **Didn`t I already hire Widow to kill you?

**Jesse : **Oh look you just asked another one

**Doomfist : **WHATEVER

**Reaper :** How is he not dead yet?

**Ashe : **Unfortunately 

**Doomfist : **I have no idea.

**Doomfist : **Anyways,

**Doomfist : **"Angela."

**Doomfist : **Why did you destroy Sombra`s phone?

**Fareeha : **What?

**Angela : **What?

**Doomfist :** Yes.

**Doomfist : **She marched into Sombra`s room and broke her phone

**Doomfist : **Then left.

**Reaper : **So you`re saying,

**Reaper : **Overwatch`s best doctor was at OUR base and you didn`t do anything?

**Doomfist : **Yes.

**Reaper :** Why do I bother?

**Fareeha : **WAIT

**Fareeha** **: **Are you saying she didn`t beat up Sombra?

**Angela : **I beat her up emotionally :)

**Fareeha : **THAT DOESN`T COUNT

**Fareeha : **You know how I am with grudges

**Fareeha : ***Photo* See your gift?

**Angela : **That`s a crater

**Fareeha : **Exactly :)

**Angela : **Woooooow

**Jesse : **rip

**Angela :** Gonna go eat my sorrows away be right back

**[Genji had entered the chat]**

**Doomfist :** Also, 

**Doomfist : **Has anyone seen Widowmaker?

**Ana : **Depends

**Doomfist : **On what?

**Ana : **Depends

**Angela : **I swear to god 

**Angela : **ROADHOG DID YOU BINGE EAT OUT OF THE FRIDGE AGAIN?????

**Roadhog : **Ye.

**[Angela has left the chat]**

**Roadhog : **Whoops.

**Lena :** Holy shit

**Lena : **Why is Widowbitch unconscious and tied up outside my room

**Lena : **This is like???

**Lena : **a nightmare and awesome dream combined into one???

**Ana : **Sleepdart :)

**Lena : **oh i gotta get me some of those

**Jack : **Wait,

**Jack : **We actually captured someone from talon?

**Ana : **Yep!

**Reaper : **For once I`m as shocked as you are

**Reaper : **We COULD have captured Angela

**Reaper : **If Akande actually paid attention

**Doomfist : **:(

**Jack : **Holy shit.

**Jack : **We actually did something meaningful in this chat.

**Ashe : **X

**Ana : **ME 

**Ana : **Screw you Jack it was all me

**Jack : **This has never happened before

**Jack : **So what do we even do with a prisoner?

**Jack : **Do we just feed it and leave?

**Reaper :** You people are hopeless.

**Doomfist :** If had a prisoner, I`d probably ask them questions

**Reaper : **AKANDE

**Doomfist : **What??

**Jack : **That`s a good idea actually

**Jack : **Lena

**Jack : **Tell the gang to meet up in the super secret overwatch chat

**Jack : **I`ll see you there.

**[Jack has left the chat]**

**Lena : **Oh shit we`re actually doing stuff now

**Ashe : **Yeah and it`s boring

**[Lena has left the chat]**

**Doomfist : **Ohhh

**Doomfist : **I see the problem.

**Doomfist : **Sorry.

**Reaper : **YOU THINK?!

**[Reaper has left the chat]**


	12. The worst interrogation in Overwatch history (Pt 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jack tries interrogation for the first time and it goes as well as you`d expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wait, I wrote this half way through November?  
Oh how time flies.

**[The super secret Overwatch chat that is for Overwatch and Overwatch only- and I mean it this time-Jack]**

**Widowmaker : **Bonjour?

**Lena : **HELLO WIDOWBITCH

**Widowmaker : **Merde.

**Lena : **We`ve captured you

**Lena : **And now we`re gonna ask you some super secret shit

**Ana : **LENA

**Lena : **Whattttt

**Ana : **Icaptured her,

**Ana :** So I`m the one that`s gonna be asking the super secret shit

**Jack : **Absolutely not.

**Ana : **Why???

**Jack : **Do I really need to answer that?

**Ana : **Fair point

**Widowmaker : **Where am I?

**Widowmaker : **And what is that thing in the corner?

**Jack : **Food.

**Widowmaker : **Really?

**Jack : **HEY

**Jack : **My cooking isn`t that bad

**Widowmaker : **No.

**Widowmaker : **That was a genuine question.

**Widowmaker : **I could not tell.

**Jack : **We had to make do.

**Jack : **Someone ate most of the food in the fridge

**Jack : **Not mentioning names.

**Lena : **Roadhog

**Jack : **LENA

**Lena : **Whatt????

**Lena : **It`s been 30 seconds and you`ve both already shouted at me

**Widowmaker :** Is that a new record?

**Jack : **It might be.

**Jack : **Wait

**Jack :** We`re the one`s that are supposed to be asking the questions.

**Widowmaker : **Is that so?

**Jack : **Yes.

**Jack : **WAIT STOP

**Lena : **What are we even supposed to ask anyway?

**Jack : **Important things,

**Ana : **....Likeeee?

**Lena : **Like

**Lena : **I GOT A QUESTION

**Widowmaker : **And?

**Widowmaker : **How are you supposed to force me to answer?

**Lena : **um

**Lena : **Jack where did you put her?

**Jack : **You`re supposed to be asking her questions, not me.

**Lena : **DAMNIT JACK JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION

**Jack :** In one of the cells.

**Ana : **Jack

**Jack : **That`s me.

**Ana : **Did you tie her down?

**Jack : **Well, no.

**Jack : **I just threw her in the cell with her phone and my food.

**Widowmaker :** I`m still not sure that can be classified as food.

**Jack : **Well, you can consume it?

**Widowmaker : **You can also consume cyanide.

**Widowmaker : **What is your point?

**Lena : **Damnmm gramps you gonna take that?

**Jack : **LENA

**Lena : **Three for three :)

**Ana : **WAIT SHE HAS HER PHONE????

**Ana : **Well fucking done Jack.

**Jack :** Don`t worry,

**Jack : **She doesn`t know the WIFI password.

**Lena : **My god Jack

**Lena : **You don`t need wifi to call someone

**Jack : **really?

**Jack : **Goddammit

**Widowmaker : **Reaper says he`s on his way.

**Jack :** SHIT

**Ana :** What`s plan B?

**Jack : **I DIDN`T THINK WE`D NEED A PLAN B

**Lena : **Really

**[Widowmaker has been kicked for 30 seconds]**

**Jack : **Get as much info out of her as we can.

**Jack : **Got it?

**Lena :** Don`t worry I got this

**Ana : **I made tea

**Ana : **Anyone want some?

**Jack : **ANA

**Ana : **Yes?

**Jack : **Out of WIDOW, not us

**Ana : **Rude.

**Ana : **I just asked if you wanted tea

**Jack : **In the MIDDLE OF AN INVESTIGATION

**Ana : **Irrelevant

**[Widowmaker has joined the chat]**

**Widowmaker : **Rude.

**Lena : **Ok Widowbitch riddle me this

**Widowmaker : **This better to be good.

**Lena : **What`s your favorite color?

**Widowmaker :** Yellow.

**Lena : **Boom

**Lena : **Write that one down jack

**Jack :** ...What.

**Jack : **WHAT

**Widowmaker : **It is just a color, Jack.

**Widowmaker : **No need to be dramatic.

**Ana : **Yeah well that color made me spit out MY TEA

**Lena : **As a British person that personally offends me

**Ana : **WHAT SANE PERSON LIKES PUKE YELLOW???

**Widowmaker : **Nice to see I can still fuck you over inside a jail cell, Ana.

**Lena : **Wouldn`t mind Widow fucking me over not gonna lie

**Widowmaker : **What.

**Ana : **What?

**Lena : **nothing

**Jack : **I MEANT USEFUL INFORMATION

**Ana : **This is useful.

**Ana : **It sparked a debate

**Ana :** And gave me more reason to hate her

**Widowmaker : **Glad to be of service.

**Jack : **My god.

**Jack : **Stuff like,

**Jack : **Where do you keep your gun stash?

**Ana : **Good idea Jack!

**Ana : **Where do you keep your gun stash Widow?

**Jack :** Something original??

**Jack : **You had to go steal mine?

**Lena : **She added Widow to the end that`s original

**Lena : **What more do you want from the old lady?

**Ana : **Thanks, Lena.

**Ana : **But don`t call me old.

**Lena : **but you`re like the oldest person i knowww

**Lena : **Either that or I call you hijab

**Ana : **Or you could just call me Ana like everyone else?

**Lena : **Pharah doesn`t

**Lena : **I heard her call you corpse the other day

**Ana : **THAT LITTLE BRAT >:(

**Jack : **BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP

**Jack : **WIDOW, WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR GUNS?

**Lena : **I can already hear Zarya shout

**Lena : **"They`re on my arms!"

**Jack : **LENA

**Lena : **WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

**Jack : **SHUT UP

**Ana : **Rude

**Lena : **Rude

**Widowmaker : **This has been quite amusing, I must confess.

**Jack :** AND YOU

**Jack : **SHUT UP

**Widowmaker : **What ever you say.

**Jack :** Wait no,

**Jack : **Keep talking

**Widowmaker : **I`m getting mixed messages here.

**Lena : **So am I gramps

**Lena : **This thing is getting as confusing as genjis fanfiction

**Ana : **Genji writes fanfiction?

**Lena : **Yeah but i wouldn`t look it up

**Lena : **His username is Mada_Mada84 

**Lena : **it`s fukking awful grammatically

**Lena : **But the plot is sweeeeet

**Ana : **Sounds interesting.

**Lena : **It is

**Jack : **Whyyyy

**Widowmaker : **Why what?

**Jack : **Why did everyone else have to be busy?

**Widowmaker : ** Luck.

**Jack : **Bad luck.

**Lena : **veryyyy bad luck

**Lena : **holy crumpets

**[Junkrat has joined the chat]**

**Junkrat : **Hi!

**Jack : **READ THE TAG

**Jack : **Overwatch ONLY

**Jack : **How did you even get in here?

**Junkrat : **Hana gave me the password!

**Junkrat : **I can live on your base but not in your chats?

**Lena : **That`s the deal

**Junkrat : **awww :(

**Widowmaker : **But I`m not Overwatch.

**Jack : **You`re an obvious exception

**Widowmaker : **Wow.

**Widowmaker : **I feel honoured to be stuck in a chat with you idiots.

**Ana : **Rude

**Ana : **Don`t forget i captured you and I would do it again in a heartbeat

**Widowmaker : **You cannot capture someone who is already captured.

**Widowmaker : **Bravo.

**Ana : **Not with that attitude you can`t

**Ana : **Widowbitch

**Lena : **That`s my line!

**Ana : **You let me use it

**Lena : **no I didn`t

**Lena : **I`ll sue

**Ana : **You can`t sue me

**Lena : **Not with that attitude >:(

**Ana : **>:(

**Jack : **CAN YOU TWO STOP?

**Jack : **This is supposed to be serious.

**Junkrat : **Soooo

**Junkrat : **What are you guys doing here?

**Lena : **Oh yknow

**Lena : **Interrogating Widow

**Junkrat : **ooooooh!

**Jack :** LENA

**Lena : **what

**Jack : **STOP TELLING PEOPLE OUR SECRETS

**Junkrat :** Hey!

**Junkrat : **Look on the bright side!

**Junkrat : **It`s not a secret anymore!

**Ana :** Yeah Jack

**Ana : **Try being positive for a change.

**Jack : **That`s not a positive??

**Widowmaker : **It is for me.

**Widowmaker : **Let the whole world know for all I care.

**Lena : **That`s the spirit

**Lena : **see even widowbitch is being more positive then you

**Lena : **and she doesn`t feel emotions

**Lena : **step up your game gramps

**Widowmaker : **Exactly.

**Widowmaker : **Now, this has been fun and all,

**Widowmaker : **But I have a date later today.

**Lena : **yo same bro

**Lena : **where you going?

**Widowmaker : ***Photo*

**Lena : **BRO

**Lena :** SAME

**Lena : **If I see you there at all I will actually hurt you

**Widowmaker : **I`d like to see you try.

**Lena : **You literally got beat by a half blind granny stfu

**Ana : **Why does everyone call me granny?

**Ana : **I`m never gonna be a grandma.

**Lena : **What makes you say that granny

**Ana : **You know who my daughter`s dating.

**Lena : **um

**Lena : **adoption is a thing

**Ana : **oh

**Ana : **OH

**Ana : **I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THAT

**Ana : **I COULD BE A GRANDMA :D

**Lena : **yay?

**Junkrat : **Congrats!

**Lena : **i forgot he was here

**Jack : **Junkrat.

**Junkrat : **Ye!

**Jack : **Explain yourself.

**Junkrat : **myself?

**Junkrat : **ummm

**Junkrat : **well i`m pretty sure my mom and dad did some stuff and then i was born

**Junkrat :** Hey ho!

**Jack : **No not that far

**Jack : **Why are you HERE?

**Junkrat : **Oh yea!

**Junkrat : **Hana said there was a spooky man outside who wanted to see you!

**Widowmaker : **That`s my ride.

**Lena : **that`s a weird way to phrase it

**Widowmaker : **What?

**Lena : **Makes it sound like your gonna mount reaper and ride him like a fukking motorbike

**Lena : **would that be considered cheating?

**Ana :** Maybe??

**Widowmaker : **Anyways, 

**Widowmaker : **Jack.

**Jack : **What?

**Widowmaker : **I`m not a fan of using blackmail, but,

**Widowmaker : **I do remember a certain hacker telling Reaper about your shrine.

**Widowmaker : **So either you let me go,

**Widowmaker : **Or the shrine gets it.

**Lena : **oooooh

**Lena : **gramps you gonna take that?

**Jack : **FUCK

**Lena :** guess not

**Jack : **WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO??

**Ana : **Sacrifice the shrine for more information?

**Jack : **HELL NO

**Jack : **WHAT INFORMATION???

**Jack : **THE ONLY THING WE GOT OUT OF HER WAS HER FAVOURITE COLOR

**Junkrat : **Hey!

**Junkrat : **Knowing someone`s favorite color is very important!

**Junkrat : **It tells you a lot about them!

**Lena : **exactly

**Lena : **Jack`s just a grumpy old man who doesn`t get it

**Jack : **WHAT IS THERE TO GET??

**Lena : **That just proves my point more

**Widowmaker : **So?

**Widowmaker : **What shall it be?

**Jack : **UM

**Jack : **I DUNNO

**Lena : **Don`t worry jack i got this

**Ana : **we`re screwed

**Lena : **shut up

**Lena : **ahem

**Lena : **WIDOWBITCH

**Lena : **I WILL LET YOU GO AFTER YOU DO ONE THING

**Widowmaker : **There`s not much I can do in a cage.

**Widowmaker : **What is it?

**Lena : **YOU EAT

**Lena : **JACK`S FOOD

**Widowmaker : **Oh.

**Widowmaker : **I implore you to reconsider.

**Widowmaker : **I feel like I`m going to go into cardiac arrest by just looking at it.

**Lena : **Nope :)

**Jack : **Ok.

**Jack : **Actually fuck you tracer

**Lena :** Actually?

**Lena : **oh jack and here i thought you were gay

**Jack : **MY FOOD ISN`T THAT BAD

**Jack : **LOOKS DON`T MATTER

**Widowmaker : ***Photo*

**Widowmaker : **Done.

**Widowmaker : **I feel like I`m actually going to die.

**Ana : **Or you could just fake your death

**Ana : **Less effort then actually dying

**Lena : **I don`t think that`s entirely accurate

**Junkrat : **Oooh

**Junkrat : **The spooky man`s moving!

**Ana : **Tell him that Halloween was months ago.

**Ana : **He`s a bit late

**Junkrat :** Now there`s a purple lady with him!

**Lena : **She moves fast for a spider

**Ana :** She`s not actually a spider :/

**Lena : **they both hide up in the corner while you`re in the bathroom

**Lena : **Basically the same thing

**Junkrat : **Andddd

**Junkrat : **She just passed out!

**Lena : **wait what

* * *

**[Sombra`s Sombros chat for talon weebs]**

**Sombra : **Soooo arana

**Sombra : **How did the whole kidnapping thing go?

**Widowmaker : **Sombra.

**Widowmaker : **I literally died.

**Reaper : **I knew Jack was a shit chef.

**Reaper : **But not that bad.

**Sombra : **How do you accidentally poison someone?

**Widowmaker : **By being Jack.

**Widowmaker : **I feel like eating food is going to give me PTSD or something.

**Sombra : **Don`t chu have a date today or something?

**Sombra : **You kinda need to eat at those

**Widowmaker : **Shit.

**[Widowmaker has left the chat]**

**Sombra : **hey hey hey hey

**Sombra : **Reaper

**Reaper : **What.

**Sombra : **You wanna hang out?

**[Reaper has left the chat]**

**Sombra : **:(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unimportant, but I'm releasing a one-shot in a few days you should totally keep your eyes peeled for...Golden funds.
> 
> ...Does it count as self advertising if you don't make any profit?
> 
> Eh :/
> 
> Also, still looking for suggestions. Mentioned in chapter one. Besides ships, cause there's 1 more planned, then everyone else is gonna be single nobodies >:)


	13. Master Thief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone`s been stealing all of Overwatch`s food, and it isn`t Roadhog this time.
> 
> Luckily, a bunch of idiots are on the case.
> 
> ...And party gets planned instead.

**Junkrat :** Oi!

**Junkrat : **@EVERYONE

**Junkrat : **Someone`s been eatin my dumplings!

**Genji : **Did you put your name on them?

**Genji : **That`s the unspoken rule of the fridge.

**Hana : **Who writes their name on dumplings??

**Junkrat : **Me!

**Hana : **What???

**Hana : **I thought that black stuff on it was mold or something?

**Hana : **Are you ok?

**Junkrat : **I have been feelin a little under the weather :/

**Hana : **NO SHIT

**Hana : **Who draws on their food?

**Fareeha : **Him, obviously.

**Fareeha : **That`s what he`s been saying.

**Hana : **I swear to god

**Junkrat : **I just wanna know who ate my dumplings!

**Junkrat : **It`s important!

**Jesse : **Why?

**Jesse : **They probably saved you from ink poisoning

**Hanzo : **If I recall correctly,

**Hanzo : **You used to do the same thing, Jesse.

**Jesse : **But I stopped :)

**Hanzo : **At age 30.

**Junkrat :** I`m 25!

**Hanzo : **That`s nice.

**Jesse : **Can we stop making fun of my life choices and get on to the matter at hand?

**Sombra : **Ok cowboy ;)

**Jesse : **:(

**[Angela has joined the chat]**

**Angela : **@ROADHOG

**Roadhog :** Ye?

**Angela : **What have I told you about binge eating out of the fridge?

**Angela : **You have money and legs!

**Angela : **Go walk your fat ass to the store and buy your own food!

**Roadhog :** ...

**Roadhog : **;-;

**Junkrat : **Woah woah woah!

**Junkrat : **Don`t call my buddy fat!

**Junkrat : **He`s big boned!

**Fareeha : **Jesus, Angela

**Fareeha : **Making fun of someone`s insecurities isn`t cool >:(

**Angela : **?

**Hana : **that was pretty rude of you to be fair

**Angela : **And eating most of the food out of fridge isn`t??

**[Roadhog has left the chat]**

**Junkrat : **Now look what you`ve done!

**Junkrat : **Poor guy :(

**Angela : **Guys, come on.

**Angela : **You know if someone eats my food I`m gonna bully the hell out of them.

**Angela : **I`m not allowed to hurt anyone physically

**Angela : **So I`m going to hurt them mentally instead! 

**Genji : **Damn.

**Genji : **For someone who can`t hurt me physically I`m pretty scared of you 0_o

**Angela :** Good :)

**Jesse : **wait wait wait

**Jesse : **But Roadhog was with me :(

**Junkrat : **Why was he with you and not his partner in crime?

**Jesse : **I have my secrets

**Jesse : **Like most people in this chat

**Jesse : **Our communication sucks :/

**Jack : **Ehem

**Jack : **Need I remind you of the name of this chat?

**Jack : **Overwatch COMMUNICATIONS??

**Hana : **No u

**Jack : **Um.

**Jack : **What does that mean?

**Hana : **Don`t worry about it ;)

**Angela : **Waittttttt

**Angela : **So it wasn`t Roadhog who ate my cookies?

**Jesse : **No?

**Genji : **WAIT.

**Genji : **Angela?

**Angela : **Yes?

**Genji : **Did you just assume it was him just because he`s big-boned?

**Angela : **Um.

**Angela : **No?

**Angela : **Fareeha help

**Fareeha : **I got this.

**Fareeha : **Just found the joker walking around our base.

**Angela : **What?

**[Ashe has joined the chat]**

**Ashe : **WHO`S READY FOR A MOTHER FUCKING PANCAKE PARTY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!??

**Jesse : **shit it`s that time of the month

**Genji : **?

**Jesse : **Wednesday.

**Fareeha : **I think you`re a bit off there Jesse

**Ashe : **YER GODDAMN RIGHT IT IS

**Ashe : **BUT NOT JUST ANY WEDNESDAY!

**Ashe : **ASHE WEDNESDAY!

**Angela : **(Wasn`t that last week?)

**Jesse : **'Every wednesday is Ashe wednesday'

**Ashe : **EVERY WEDNESDAY IS ASHE WEDNESDAY!

**Jesse : **¬_¬

**Junkrat : **:o

**Junkrat : **Really????

**Ashe : **HELL YEAH BROTHER

**Junkrat : **:O

**Junkrat : **Pancake time!

**Ashe : **:D

**Ashe : **Finally, someone appreciates pancake day!

**Ashe : **Unlike someone I know

**Ashe : **Not mentioning names >:(

**Jesse : **Me.

**Ashe : **JESSE.

**Jesse : **Yeah :/

**Hana : **Damnn Jesse

**Hana : **You ok?

**Jesse : **I`ve had to put up with Wednesdays my entire life.

**Jesse : **I`ve survived

**Jesse : **Barely

**Angela : **Soooo

**Angela : **Ashe, what`s with the costume?

**Ashe : **You know how people have their 'Sunday best'?

**Angela : **Don`t tell me you dress up like this every Wednesday??

**Ashe : **YOU HAVEN`T EVEN SEEN THE BEST PART!

**Genji : **Oh god there`s more?

**Ashe :** BOB

**Bob : **...

**Fareeha : **What the hell is he wearing?

**Ashe :** A MASTERPIECE

**Ashe : ***Photo*

**Ashe : **LOOK AT OUR LIL MATCHING TOP HATS

**Hana :** Poor guy D:

**Jesse : **I met Ashe on a wednesday.

**Jesse : **Imagine my surprise when a giant omnic dressed like an anime character comes out of the woods holding a stack of pancakes

**Jesse : **And he just stands there.

**Jesse : **Waiting. 

**Ashe : **:O

**Ashe : **BOB!

**Ashe : **GET THE DAMN PANCAKES

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **In the fridge

**Fareeha : **Ah, the fridge.

**Fareeha : **Painful memories.

**Angela : **Fareeha please don`t

**Fareeha : **Like the time Angela mercilessly mentally murdered some guy cause she THOUGHT he ate her cookies.

**Fareeha : **But it turned out he didn`t and she was just a judgmental coward

**Angela : **FAREEHA

**Hanzo : **Outsiders would be surprised to learn you are in a relationship.

**Ashe : **When did this happen?

**Ashe : **Doesn`t sound like Angela at all :/

**Ashe : **Glad to see she`s become a better person now :)

**Hana : **About 5 mins ago actually

**Ashe : **wait what the fuck

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE FRIDGE IS EMPTY??

**Bob :** ...

**Ashe : **NO

**Ashe : **WE CAN`T JUST MAKE MORE PANCAKES

**Ashe : **IT`S JUST NOT THE SAME

**Bob** : ...

**Ashe : **Wth do you mean it literally is

**Hanzo : **Hey.

**Hanzo : **What does does 'Wth' mean?

**Jesse : **Whip that honey

**Hanzo : **Why are we whipping honey?

**Jesse : **To show bees we don`t give a shit

**Hana : **Whut?

**Jesse : **Enslave the bees without remorse!

**Hanzo : **Oh.

**Hanzo : **But I like bees.

**Jesse : **Oh.

**Jesse : **I guess you`re just gonna have to live with being wrong

**Hana : **I thought we couldn`t get any weirder.

**Ashe : **WHO THE FUCK ATE MY PANCAKES

**Ashe : **I WILL PERSONALLY SEE TO YOUR DESTRUCTION IN OUTER SPACE

**Hana : **I should really think before I type :/

**Bob : **...

**Hanzo : **Bob says everything`s gone.

**Angela : **Everything??

**Hanzo : **Yes.

**Fareeha : **Even that out of date cow tiddie milk?

**Hanzo : **Yes.

**Hanzo : **But please don`t call it that ever again.

**Angela : **So, that eliminates all the smart people as being our food thief.

**Fareeha :** So we`re basically still at square one.

**Angela : **Pretty much.

**Angela : **All I know is, I didn`t do it.

**Genji : **That`s exactly what someone who did it would say.

**Angela : **And Fareeha, she was with me.

**Genji : **That`s exactly what someone who did it with an accomplice would say.

**Angela : **Genji stfu

**Genji : **;-;

**Hanzo : **Genji.

**Hanzo : **I hate to impose, but perhaps it was your cat?

**Genji : **So anyways who did it >:(

**Hanzo : **Oh.

**Hanzo : **I forgot he pretends I don`t exist.

**Hanzo : **Could someone translate, thank you.

**Jesse : **Don`t worry bud I got this

**Jesse : **Yo Genji maybe it was Frumpkin

**Genji : **Why would it be her?

**Angela : **Actually,

**Angela : **She has been getting fatter recently.

**Angela : **Maybe she`s being pampered by an owner that feeds her too much

**Genji : **I don`t pamper her!

**Ashe : **hehe chonky cat

**Genji : **First off, how would she even open the fridge?

**Jesse : **You calling her dumb?

**Genji : **No?

**Genji : **um

**Genji : **SECOND

**Genji : **You`re assuming it was her because she`s 'fat'?

**Genji : **Doesn`t that sound familiar?

**Angela : **I`m sorry D:

**Genji :** Yeah you better be >:(

**Hana : **Soooo

**Hana : **Someone smart enough to steal everything from the fridge

**Hana : **But dumb enough to steal expired milk?

**Hana : **The only person I would expect would be Jesse, but I know he was off base

**Jesse : **Thanks :)

**Jesse : **Hey wait no

**Jesse : **I`ve stolen expired milk before, tastes like shit

**Fareeha : **(Cow tiddie juice)

**Hanzo : **...Goddamnit.

**[Hammond has joined the chat]**

**Hammond : **Sup.

**Angela : **...???

**Hammond : **How`s everyone doing today?

**Hana : **Who are you??

**Hammond : **Hammond.

**Hammond : **Can`t you read?

**Jesse : **no

**Hanzo : **Really?

**Hanzo : **That explains a lot, actually.

**Jesse : **Yeah :/

**Jesse : **What kind of idiot steals out of date milk on purpose?

**Fareeha : **You, apparently.

**Jesse : **D:

**Jack : **Hammond.

**Hammond : **That`s me.

**Jack : **Who are you and how did you get here?

**Hammond : **I`m Hammond.

**Ashe :** BUT WHO THE FUCK IS HAMMOND?

**Junkrat : **OHHHH!

**Junkrat : **YOU ACCEPTED MY INVITE! :D

**Hammond : **Yup.

**Jack : **Great.

**Jack : **Now the evil people are inviting their evil friends.

**Junkrat : **Hammond ain`t evil!

**Junkrat : **He`s my hero!

**Ashe : **So?

**Ashe : **You don`t see Jesse inviting the ghost of Celine Dion in here

**Jesse : **Why you gotta remind me of that?

**Jesse : **I still miss her :(

**Ashe : **She died like 10 years ago.

**Jesse : **It still hurts ;-;

**Jack : **Have you actually met this Hammond?

**Junkrat : **I watched most of his fights in junkertown!

**Junkrat : **I was such a big fan, he told me his real name! :D

**Jesse : **wait

**Jesse : **You have to be someone`s fan to know their name?

**Sombra : **Obviously

**Sombra : **Why do you think no one in here knows my real name?

**Zarya : **No one?

**Sombra : **um

**Sombra : **No one 0_o

**Zarya : **Uh-huh.

**Ashe : **I can be your fan, Sombra :)

**Ashe : **I`ll tell you my name if you tell me yours ;)

**Genji : **wait

**Genji : **Your name isn`t Ashe?!

**Ashe : **nah

**Ashe : **It`s my last name

**Ashe : **Genji we`ve known each other for like 16 years now wtf

**Hanzo : **Forgive him.

**Hanzo : **It took him 4 years to realize Jesse`s name isn`t McCree.

**Genji : **:(

**Hammond :** Eyo who`s Mccree?

**Jesse : **It`s McCree you uncultured swine

**Junkrat :** Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

**Junkrat : **@Hana

**Hana : **What chu want Junky?

**Junkrat : **Can I have a friend sleepover for a while?

**Hana : **I dunno man

**Hana : **We`re a bit crowded as it is

**Junkrat : **But he can live in the walls with me!

**Junkrat : **And you can compare mech sizes!

**Hana : **Well shit why didn`t you say so?

**Hana : **Show us pics?

**Junkrat : ***Photo*

**Junkrat : **I`ve never seen him out of it, but I bet he looks just as cool!

**Hammond : **Hells yeah I do.

**Hana : **He can stay as long he promises never to talk like that again

**Hammond : **Deal.

**Hammond : **Oh, and I`ve been borrowing some of your food.

**Hammond : **We cool?

**Ashe :** WHAT

**Hana :** I have all my mtn dew stashed in my room so it`s cool.

**Ashe : **HE`S THE THIEF??????

**Ashe :** THIS BITCH THAT I`VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF RUINED ASHE WEDNESDAY??

**Hammond : **I am not a female dog.

**Ashe : **NO SHIT

**Ashe : **ANIMALS CAN`T TALK

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **NO I DO NOT NEED THERAPY BOB

**Ashe : **THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN

**Hammond :** And might I say, send my thanks to the chef.

**Hammond : **Whoever made those pancakes is amazing.

**Ashe : **STOP

**Angela : **Just the pancakes?

**Angela : **Did you even try the cookies?

**Hammond : **Eh, they were alright.

**Angela : **Just alright?

**Hammond : **They were pretty salty.

**Jesse : **Reminds me of genji

**Angela : **I don`t like this person already.

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **NO

**Ashe : **DON`T YOU DARE OFFER TO MAKE HIM SOME MORE

**Hammond : **I wouldn`t mind.

**Hanzo :** Ashe, maybe you can make something out of this.

**Ashe : **Besides feeling betrayed and disappointed?

**Ashe : **Doubt it :(

**Hanzo : **I`m sure Hammond wishes to atone for his sins.

**Hammond : **I do?

**Hanzo : **Yes, you do.

**Hammond : **Is this reverse psychology?

**Hanzo : **No.

**Hammond : **That just makes it worse.

**Hanzo : **Oh.

**Hanzo : **Anyways.

**Hanzo : **I`m sure Bob and I can band together and turn Ashe Wednesday into a real celebration for a day.

**Hanzo :** Let us meet up in the dining room and have a pancake party.

**Ashe : **:O

**Ashe : **AW HELL YEAH

**Ashe : **WHO`S COMING TO OUR MOTHER FUCKING PANCAKE PARTY?!?!?!?!

**Jesse : **And they say girls mature faster than boys :/

**Junkrat : **Me!

**Junkrat : **I`ll bring Hammond!

**Junkrat : **Maybe he`ll finally come out of his mech! :D

**Hammond : **I doubt it.

**Sombra : **Like how Bob came out of a closet that one time!

**Jesse : **Bob`s gay?

**Hana : **NO

**Hana : **I swear to god

**Hana : **Can you guys please shut up about that? :(

**Sombra : **But I barely have anything else to annoy you with :)

**Hana : **:(

**[Junkrat has left the chat]**

**Hammond : **Adios.

**[Hammond has left the chat]**

**Jack : **I still have no idea who that guy is.

**Hana : **Who cares?

**Hana : **He has a better sense of humor than you 

**Jack : **Hey!

**Jack : **I`m funny!

**Jack : **Just the other day I told you a dad joke!

**Hana : **Prove it then >:3

**Hana : **Come to the party,

**Hana : **And if you make an entire 3 people laugh I`ll leave you alone for a week

**Jack : **Deal.

**[Jack has left the chat]**

**[Hana has left the chat]**

**Hanzo :** Is she really that annoying?

**Jesse : **Eh

**Jesse : **She`s in my 'top ten most annoying women in this chat' if that counts for anything

**Hanzo : **Um.

**Jesse : **I have a guy`s version too!

**Jesse : **Spoilers: I`m in there somewhere.

**Hanzo : **Please stop talking.

**Jesse :** :(

**Ashe : **Anyone else coming to our super awesome mega fantastic fabulous epic pancake party?

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **Well obviously you`re coming 

**Ashe : **It wouldn`t be a party without you :')

**Bob : **...

**Ashe : **DAMNIT BOB YOU`RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY

**Sombra : **I really want to know what he`s saying. :/

**Hanzo : **No, you don`t.

**Hanzo : **It`s enough to make a grown man cry.

**Hanzo : **'Sad face'.

**Jesse : **Hanzo no :(

**Angela : **EHEM

**Angela :** APPARENTLY these pancakes are better than my pride and joy

**Angela : **So I guess I`ll have to come along and prove that one guy wrong.

**Fareeha : **Welp.

**Fareeha : **Guess that means I`m coming too.

**Fareeha : **Y'know, to be comforting girlfriend when she realizes Bob is a better cook than her.

**Angela : **What makes you so sure????

**[Fareeha has left the chat]**

**Angela : **DAMNIT FAREEHA

**Angela : **>:(

**[Angela has left the chat]**

**Ashe : **Oh no

**Ashe : **I`ve seen pancakes destroy many relationships before!

**Jesse : **Eh???

**Ashe : **Gotta go rescue their partnership bye

**[Ashe has left the chat]**

**Sombra : **Is confusion a valid emotion right now?

**Hanzo : **All emotions are valid.

**Hanzo : **Confusion, fear and sadness more so than others.

**Jesse : **I`m feelin pretty sad right now

**Hanzo : **Help me make pancakes?

**Hanzo : **'Smiley face'.

**Jesse : **but

**Jesse : **I don`t even like pancakes.

**Hanzo :** Oh.

**[Hanzo has left the chat]**

**Jesse : **:(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say what you will about the Mardi Gras skin, they`re wearing matching top hats. What more could you want? :)
> 
> And as always, comments are appreciated. You can ask literally anything. And that`s awesome. A request, perhaps. You could ask me what the fastest car in the world is. I have no idea. But don`t let that stop you! >:)


	14. 20XX : Our Spirits Need Uplifting (Pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ana and Jack try to brief 3 idiots on how to save King`s Row.

**[Overwatch communications chat]**

**Reinhardt**** : **HELLO! :D

**Reinhardt : **I`VE BEEN TOLD TO COME IN HERE

**Reinhardt :** AND I BROUGHT THE MIDGET

**Torbjorn : **I MAY BE SMALL YOU OAF

**Torbjorn : **BUT REMIND ME WHICH ONE OF US HAS A WIFE AND KIDS?

**Reinhardt : **SIR THE MIDGET`S BULLYING ME AGAIN

**Angela : **This caps lock thing is going to get old really fast.

**Angela : **Remind me why we`re in here again?

**Ana : **Yeah

**Ana : **Funny story, 

**Ana : **Someone spilled tea on the communicator so our comms are down.

**Reyes : **(MORRISON)

**Jack : **REYES.

**Reyes : **Don`t even try to deny it.

**Jack : **Don`t YOU try to deny it.

**Reyes : **Says the guy who 'accidentally' broke the CCTV days prior.

**Reyes : **It`s almost like you`re trying to jeopardise our mission.

**Jack : **FIRST OFF,

**Jack : **I only punched the camera because YOU were pissing me off AGAIN

**Reyes : **OH BOOHOO D':

**Reyes : **Cry me a river.

**Jack : **SECOND OFF

**Jack : **WHY THE FUCK HAVEN`T HR REPLIED TO MY CALLS???

**Reyes : **Maybe they like me bullying you.

**Ana : **I do!

**Ana : **It`s pretty entertaining to be fair

**Reyes : **See, someone here can take a joke :)

**Jack :** You`re just saying that so they he doesn`t bully you, Ana.

**Reyes : **Nah.

**Reyes : **Fareeha says I`m not allowed to bully Ana.

**Reyes : **You know how she can be with grudges.

**Jack : **YOU`LL LISTEN TO A KID BUT NOT ME???

**Reyes : **There`s a big difference between you and the kid.

**Reyes : **One of you is a valued member of this team.

**Reyes : **The other is Jack.

**Jack : **YOU PIECE OF SHIT

**Reyes : **Oh nooo Ana he`s bullying me D':

**Reyes : **Take notes.

**Ana : **Yeah Jack don`t be so fucking rude >:(

**Jack : **FUCK YOU

**Angela : **Hey, am I allowed to bully my commanders too?

**Reyes : **Sure.

**Angela : **Ok.

**Angela : **WE ARE LITERALLY ABOUT TO FLY OUT INTO A WAR ZONE SO CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP????

**Torbjorn : **CAPS LOCK!

**Reinhardt : **EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :D

**Jack :** Oh yeah

**Jack : **The mission.

**Reyes : **Right.

**Angela : **Did you guys forget or something?

**Angela : **It`s not like you called us into this chat for this specific purpose or anything!

**Reyes : **Sorry, was too busy hating on Jack.

**Torbjorn :** WE GET IT!

**Torbjorn : **YOU TWO HATE EACH OTHER

**Torbjorn : **NOW CAN YOU PLEASE BRIEF US ON THE MISSION TO LESSEN OUR CHANCES OF DYING PLEASE?

**Reyes : **Fine.

**Reyes : **I`ll let Jack do it.

**Jack : **Why me?

**Reyes : **Cause I don`t know shit about this mission either. \\_(¬_¬)_/

**Reyes : **Ana just told me to show up.

**Ana : **Yeah :)

**Jack : **Ana, why?

**Ana : **I thought it would be funny.

**Ana : **And I was right! :D

**Jack : **OK FINE

**Jack : **Listen up.

**Jack : **You`ll be dropped off at the edge of king`s row near an underground subway station.

**Jack : **You`ll need to go in there, and I`ll fill you in on the details when you get there.

**Reinhardt : **NO THANKS

**Reinhardt : **CAN`T WE JUST HAVE THEM NOW?

**Jack : **I don`t want have to repeat them for the recruit.

**Angela : **Recruit??

**Torbjorn : **DON`T TELL ME WE HAVE TO LOOK AFTER A NEWBIE WHILE BEING SHOT AT?

**Reinhardt : **NO OFFENCE MIDGET, BUT YOU`RE CRAMPING MY STYLE.

**Reinhardt**** :** STOP WITH THE CAPS LOCK

**Torbjorn : **Please tell me I`m allowed to shoot him.

**Angela : **I can just heal him up, so sure :)

**Torbjorn : **NICE!

**Reinhardt**** : **D:

**Reyes : **Wait.

**Reyes : **You didn`t tell them about the recruit?

**Jack : **Full offence, but the world`s being shot up by omnics at the moment.

**Jack : **Me and Ana have been up countless nights coming up with a plan to take back King`s Row.

**Ana : **Yeah, had to miss Fareeha`s recital :(

**Jack : **And what have you been doing?

**Reyes : **Going to Fareeha`s recital :)

**Reyes : **And she told me how much she misses her mom :(

**Ana : **:o

**Ana : **Don`t make me sad just before a mission Reyes ;-;

**Jack : **Where is that recruit???

**Jack : **I sent them an invite ages ago.

**Ana : **Did you?

**Jack : **Yeah.

**Ana : **Jack, I know how shit you are with technology.

**Ana : **You didn`t.

**Jack : **Wait.

**Jack : **OH

**Jack : **I PRESSED THE WRONG BUTTON

**Jack : **hah hah

**Jack : **Good times.

**Reyes : **And you people wonder why I`m so mean to him.

**[Jack has sent an invite]**

**[Cadet Oxton has entered the chat]**

**Cadet Oxton : **Hello luvs! :)

**Angela : **Hello :)

**Reinhardt : **EW

**Reinhardt : **THAT NAME IS WAY TOO FORMAL

**Reinhardt : **CHANGE IT NOW

**Cadet Oxton : **Did I do something wrong?

**Reinhardt**** : **YOU`VE ALL DONE SOMETHING WRONG IN MY EYES

**Cadet Oxton : **Oh no!

**Cadet Oxton : **Maybe you should get your eyes checked :)

**Reinhardt : **NEVER!

**Reinhardt : **I`D HAVE TO TAKE MY ARMOUR OFF!

**Angela : **¬_¬

**[Cadet Oxton has changed their name to Oxton]**

**Oxton : **Is that better?

**Reinhardt : **YES

**Reinhardt : **I LOVE YOU

**Oxton : **Aww! 

**Oxton :** I Love you too! <3

**Torbjorn : **FULL offence but Rein is enough stupid for the whole team.

**Torbjorn :** Can we NOT have a mini him please?

**Oxton : **Too late, I`m already there!

**Torbjorn : **Where??

**Torbjorn** **: **How are you not dead??

**Oxton : **Well, I was kinda here before the whole 'murder robot' thing.

**Oxton : **Cause I live here!

**Reyes : **You`re British?

**Oxton : **Yep!

**Torbjorn : **Accent and all?

**Oxton : **Double yep!

**Torbjorn : **I LOVE YOU!

**Oxton :** <3

**Oxton : **And Ana said winning you guys over would be hard!

**Ana :** what the fuck

**Ana : **I`ve know you for years now Torb and you`ve never said that to me...

**Torbjorn : **It`s the accent!

**Ana : **YOU KNOW WHAT??

**Ana : **I WAS gonna buy you all drinks if the mission was successful.

**Ana : **But now because of the MIDGET, That`s not happening >:(

**Reinhardt : **TORBJORN

**Reinhardt : **I WOULD SMACK YOU TO HELL AND BACK BUT I DON`T THINK I COULD REACH DOWN THERE

**Angela :** Please do.

**Angela : **The healer is here for a reason :)

**Oxton : **waitiwaitiwaitwaitttttttt

**Oxton : **How about...

**Oxton : **If we all survive, I`ll buy drinks!

**Oxton : **now please dont kill him ._.

**Reinhardt**** : **FAIR TRADE

**Angela : **I love you ;-;

**Oxton :** <3

**Ana : **Why do I feel so useless? :(

**Reyes : **Cause you are.

**Reyes : **Or, that`s what I`m teaching your daughter, at least :)

**Oxton : **:ooo

**Oxton : **You have a daughter? Congrats!

**Ana :** What is there to congratulate?

**Oxton :** Oh well then

**Oxton : **My condolences. 

**Ana : **wait

**Torbjorn :** JACKKKKKKKK

**Jack : **Whatttttttt?

**Torbjorn : **Our drop ship`s closing in!

**Torbjorn : **What now?

**Jack :** You`ll have to meet up with agent Tracer first.

**Oxton : **That`s me!

**Oxton : **Wait a sec

**[Oxton has changed their name to Tracer]**

**Tracer : **There ya go!

**Tracer : **Easier for Rein, I guess! :)

**Reinhardt : **PLEASE TELL ME WE'RE KEEPING THIS ONE!

**Jack :** Meet up with agent Tracer, and I`ll fill you in step by step.

**Tracer : **I`m in a sewer!

**Ana : **ffs Oxton we`ve been over this

**Ana : **It`s an abandoned subway station.

**Ana : **Just because it has a grate, doesn`t mean it`s a sewer.

**Tracer : **Or maybe...

**Tracer : **It`s a subway station for rats in the sewer!

**Tracer : **There! Now we`re both happy! :D

**Ana : **no

**Angela : **LET TRACER HAVE THIS, ANA >:(

**Reinhardt : **YES!

**Torbjorn : **BUZZKILL!

**Ana : **FINE!

**Ana : **Meet up in the station.

**Angela :** ...For rats?

**Ana : **FOR RATS, ANGELA!

**Reinhardt : **AYE AYE, CAPTAIN!

**Tracer : **This is exciting!

**Tracer : **We get to save the city, AND I get to show off to any potential girlfriends!

**Angela : **How???

**Tracer : **Well, we`ll be shooting up omnics in the streets!

**Tracer : **Maybe some lucky girl will look out her window and see us and think:

**Tracer : **'Wow! I really want to date the skinny one!' 

**Angela : **...The chances of that happening are very slim.

**Angela : **I wouldn`t count on it.

**Tracer : **They say the same about being struck by lightning!

**Tracer : **And yet, 100`s of uncles die from lightning strikes every year :(

**Reyes : **Uncles?

**Tracer : **I still miss him :(

**Ana :** what

**Reinhardt : **I HATE TO INTERRUPT BUT

**Reinhardt : **WE`RE ABOUT TO LAND.

**Jack : **Make sure you have your speech to text on.

**Jack : **So we know what`s happening.

**Tracer : **Got it!

**Tracer : **So if I get downed, I`ll just yell AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH super loud!

**Jack : **...Yeah.

**Ana : **Good luck, everyone.

**Torbjorn : **LET THE MADNESS BEGIN!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! All the stuff below is about current affairs about both Overwatch and real life. If you don`t care, feel free to skip. Just know that the next chapter is probably going to be delayed as well. If you have any suggestions on how to tackle the Uprising event, let me know! :)
> 
> And I reeeally hope y`all like 2 parters.
> 
> \----------------
> 
> There`s a lot to be said about Overwatch but here`s the basics.
> 
> I like the idea of challenges, and I`m glad blizzard gave us at least something new to do. Even if both the retribution ones were wayyyy to easy. For people struggling, I suggest using Reinhardt and Mercy. :)
> 
> Avator Pharah makes me feel positive feelings I didn`t know I could feel.
> 
> Echo! I really like her move set, and her ultimate is just amazing. Too bad we can`t have 2 Bobs at once though. We should enjoy her before Jeff pulls a Mercy on us and nerfs her to the ground.
> 
> Everyone: Oh boy! Echo looks so nice and innocent and nurturing! I`m so excited for a new support!  
Echo: *Readies sticky bombs* YOU THOUGHT WRONG! >:)
> 
> \------------------
> 
> Where I live, the virus isn`t doing that much damage, but its effects can be felt everywhere. I think 1 person`s been tested positive in my city, and there go all the schools and shops. Though, my best friend has diabetes, so I`m probably not going to see him for months. Soooo, that sucks :(
> 
>   
Wherever you are, random person on the internet, I hope you`re doing well. And taking extra precautions! Wash your hands, damnit! And don`t buy all the damn toilet paper! :)  

> 
> And as always, if anyone wants to talk, here I am. This story may not be that good, but I`m really thankful for the people who gave it a chance :)


	15. 20XX : 4 Idiots Vs The Uprising (Pt2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Torbjorn, Reinhardt and Angela try to take back King's Row while simultaneously trying to protect their newest recruit.
> 
> Plus, Tracer meets the love of her life in the strangest way possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope y'all have seen the event so you actually know what's going on. :)
> 
> And thanks to Rhitta for suggesting stuff :)

**Angela : **Oh my GOD.

**Angela : **ANA.

**Ana : **??

**Angela : **Why didn't you tell me the rookie's so CUTE???

**Torbjorn : **It's true!

**Tracer : **Awww! Love you guys too!<3

**Reinhardt : **LOOK AT HER LIL HAT!

**Jack : **GUYS.

**Jack : **Stop gushing over Tracer. You're on a mission.

**Torbjorn : **We're already on the first terminal, Jack!

**Torbjorn : **So stop complaining!

**Jack : **>:(

**Torbjorn :** >:(

**Reinhardt : **OOOOOHHHHHH

**Reinhardt : **WAIT, WHAT ARE WE DOING AGAIN?

**Torbjorn : **YOU DON'T KNOW?

**Reinhardt** ** : **HEY, NOBODY GAVE ME A BRIEFING!

**Reinhardt :** I JUST GOT TOLD TO SHOW UP!

**Reyes :** Eyyyyyyy same!

**Reinhardt :** EYYYYYY!

**Jack :** Actually,

**Jack :** I specifically said we wouldn't need a tank and you said,

**Jack :** '1 Reinhardt is better than none! I'm going!'

**Tracer :** We could always use more protection!

**Tracer :** Thanks, Rein!

**Reinhardt :** =D

**Ana :** Agreed.

**Ana :** Lack of protection is the reason Fareeha exists!

**Jack :** ANA

**Jack :** Just ew.

**Ana :** ;)

**Torbjorn :** JESUS, ANA!

**Torbjorn :** MOVING ON

**Torbjorn :** First terminal hacked, not like anyone cares!

**Angela :** Hey, I do!

**Angela :** I've just been busy boosting Tracer this whole time.

**Tracer :** You've been boosting me?

**Angela :** Uh.

**Angela :** Yeah.

**Tracer : **Oh.

**Tracer : **Well then, good job :)

**Angela : **It`s nice to be appreciated.

**Angela :** FOR ONCE.

**Jack :** I have an announcement to make, so stop talking.

**Reyes : **My god

**Reyes : **Are you finally quitting?!

**Reyes : **:D

**Jack : **About the MISSION.

**Reyes : **Aww.

**Jack : **There`s a new energy signal up ahead.

**Jack : **Probably a new omnic.

**Angela :** Bit too late there, Jack.

**Angela : **It`s too busy shooting at Tracer.

**Tracer : **I think my arm`s broken! :D

**Angela : **NOT ON MY WATCH

**Angela : **Wait damnit it has a shield 

**Reinhardt : **IMPOSTOR

**Reinhardt : **MUST

**Reinhardt : **CHARGE

**Torbjorn : **Rein nO

**Reinhardt : **HOORAHHHHHHHH

**Torbjorn : **And there he goes!

**Angela : **I`ll get him.

**Reinhardt : **I THINK I HAVE A CONCUSSION

**Reinhardt : **OH WELL

**Tracer : **I`ll just sit here with my broken arm then

**Torbjorn : **Beginning the hack!

**Torbjorn : **Because unlike the rest of you, I`m not incompetent!

**Ana :** Careful, you`re exposed in your current position.

**Ana : **Expect attacks from all directions.

**Torbjorn : **YEAH, I FIGURED.

**Torbjorn : **CAN YOU GUYS PLEASE STOP POINTING OUT THE OBVIOUS???

**Angela : **oh my god

**Angela : **Tracer I love you but can you please get on the point?

**Tracer : **zip zip zip zip

**Tracer : **But blinking is so fun! You should try it!

**Reinhardt : **YEAH!

**Reinhardt : **I BLINK ALL THE TIME

**Reinhardt : **KEEPS THE EYES NICE AND MOIST

**Reyes : **ew

**Tracer : **no

**Tracer : **The other kind of blinking!

**Reinhardt : **THERE`S ANOTHER KIND OF BLINKING??

**Reinhardt : **I NEED A MOMENT.

**Torbjorn : **He`ll figure it out, give him a minute.

**Reinhardt : **MY EYES HAVEN`T UNLOCKED THIS YET!

**Reyes : **Inviting Rein to this mission was the best decision you`ve ever made, Jack

**Jack : **I didn`t invite him!

**Reyes : **I compliment you for once and you attack me?

**Reyes : **Never doing that again.

**Jack : **???

**Torbjorn :** Hack finished, let`s go!

**Reinhardt : **WAITTTT

**Reinhardt : **I GET IT NOW

**Torbjorn : **Sometimes I think your body is faster than your brain!

**Reinhardt : **I CAN`T HEAR YOU FROM DOWN THERE, SORRY!

**Angela :** Why am I babysitting these 2? They`re older than me :/

**Tracer : **Who cares!

**Tracer : **The final terminal`s in a building!

**Tracer : **Yay, protection!

**Ana : **Yes...Protection.

**Jack : **Ana...

**Ana :** What? I didn`t say anything :)

**Jack : **But I know you were thinking about it.

**Ana : **Oh I`m always thinking about 'It' Jack ;)

**Jack : **I`m shrivelling

**Torbjorn :** Beginning the hack!

**Torbjorn : **Everyone stay near the drone.

**Tracer :** But

**Tracer : **If I go outside, I can kill them before they even come inside!

**Reinhardt : **GENIUS!

**Reinhardt : **ALRIGHT GOOD LUCK OUT THERE!

**Tracer : **Thanks!

**Torbjorn :** REIN WHY?

**Reinhardt : **?

**Angela : **You could have asked us for our opinion?

**Reinhardt : **SHE`LL BE FINE ON HER OWN

**Reinhardt : **SHE`S GOTTA HAVE SOME INDEPENDENCE SOMETIME!

**Torbjorn :** In the middle of a war zone?!

**Angela :** Yeah!

**Angela : **She could get a cold or something!

**Torbjorn : **Or get shot

**Angela : **OR GET SHOT YEAH THAT TOO

**Tracer : **wait

**Tracer : **Did anyone else hear that?

**Angela : **What?

**Tracer : **It sounded like

**Tracer : **Grunting?

**Ana : **Yes...Grunting...

**Jack : **ANA I SWEAR TO GOD

**Ana : **>:)

**Tracer : **:O

**Tracer : **IT`S A PERSON

**Tracer : **but more importantly

**Tracer : **IT`S A CUTE GIRL

**Tracer : **Can I go say hi? She might need my help!

**Jack : **Don`t approach the civilian.

**Tracer :** I`m approaching the civilian!

**Reinhardt : **SHE`S ALREADY TALKING TO GIRLS

**Reinhardt : **THEY GROW UP SO FAST ;-;

**Angela : **Be careful!

**Angela : **She might be diseased.

**Jack : **That`s what your most concerned about right now?

**Angela : **Well yeah.

**Tracer : **AH

**Reinhardt : **OOH

**Reinhardt : **Did you get rejected?

**Torbjorn : **Who cares!

**Torbjorn : **Hack`s done.

**Angela : **WAIT.

**Angela : **SHE SAID SHE WOULD YELL IF SHE WENT DOWN

**Torbjorn :** Drama queen!

**Angela :** REIN TAKE ME TO HER RIGHT GODDAMN NOW

**Reinhardt : **CHARGE!

**Torbjorn : **I guess I`ll actually DO MY JOB in the meantime!

**Jack : **What`s going on over there?

**Jack : **Is Tracer alright?

**Reinhardt : **BETTER!

**Reinhardt : **SHE DIDN`T GET REJECTED!

**Ana : **Oh good

**Reinhardt : **SHE JUST GOT SHOT!

**Ana : **Hold up

**Reinhardt : **ANGELA LOOKS LIKE SHE`S ABOUT TO CRY

**Angela : **NO I DON`T

**Angela : **SHUT UP

**Angela : **Let me rez Tracer in peace ;-;

**Jack : **Is the civilian ok?

**Reinhardt : **MOSTLY?

**Reinhardt : **APPARENTLY SHE`S THE ONE WHO SHOT TRACER!

**Reyes :** Why??

**Angela :** She said it was an accident.

**Ana : **Yes...An accident...

**Tracer : **GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUESS WHATTTTT

**Tracer : **I GOT SHOT! :D

**Ana : **Oh nice

**Jack : **And you might have scarred a civilian in the process!

**Angela : **Pfft

**Angela :** If anything, the girl`s here laughing at Tracer`s stupidity.

**Tracer : **Apparently, running up behind an alert girl with a gun is 'Stupid and irresponsible' according to Angela :(

**Jack : **Where did a civilian get a gun??

**Reinhardt :** WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR ZONE!

**Reinhardt : **WHERE ISN`T THERE A GUN?

**Ana : **fair point

**Torbjorn : **Can MY TEAM stop fussing over the red head and help me defend the payload?

**Tracer : **Unless we can bring her, no can do!

**Reyes : **That does beg the question...

**Reyes : **Why is there a civilian out here anyways?

**Tracer : **Gimme a sec

**Tracer : **She says:

**Tracer : **'Well, if a bunch of robots are shooting up the street outside your house, wouldn`t you do something?'

**Reinhardt : **I LIKE THIS ONE!

**Tracer : **Great, now I know where she lives :)

**Tracer : **I think I`m in love

**Reinhardt : **WHAT

**Torbjorn : **I wish I could have kids that brave.

**Angela : **Well the only one you have seems to be as reckless.

**Angela :** So it looks like you`re in luck!

**Torbjorn : **Yay!

**Reyes : **As much as I love a change of plan,

**Reyes : **Shouldn`t you be focusing on the mission?

**Torbjorn : **WHAT DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN DOING?

**Reyes : **Whoops

**Reyes : **Tend to forget about you

**Torbjorn : **WHY??

**Reyes : **Because you're...you know.

**Torbjorn : **WHAT.

**Reyes : **Nothing

**Torbjorn : **SAY IT.

**Reinhardt : **VERTICALLY CHALLENGED!

**Torbjorn : **DAMNIT REINHARDT

**Angela : **Oh where`s he going now?

**Reinhardt : **STRAIGHT INTO THE ARMS OF A BASTION!

**Reinhardt : **WAIT.

**Angela : **And down he goes.

**Angela : **I swear to god

**Angela : **Can you guys get along for 2 minutes?

**Reinhardt : **PFFT

**Reinhardt : **MAYBE WHEN I DON'T HAVE SNAP MY NECK DOWNWARDS TO TALK TO HIM!

**Tracer** **: **hey hey hey

**Tracer :** Emily says that`s pretty rude

**Ana : **Who`s Emily? 

**Tracer : **The pretty girl with the gun

**Tracer : **That isn`t Angela

**Angela : **<3

**Torbjorn : **BACK

**Torbjorn : **Wait

**Torbjorn : **Are you still talking to that girl??

**Torbjorn : **The payload`s done, we have to move!

**Tracer : **Fine, but I`m bringing her.

**Tracer : **I gotta get her number ;)

**Jack : **Seriously?

**Jack : **I let you on your mission to prove yourself and you do this?

**Tracer : **But I am proving myself!

**Tracer : **As a master of flirtation. ;)

**Torbjorn : **You literally ran up behind her, said hi, and got shot in the face!

**Angela : **Better than anything I've ever done.

**Reyes : **EVERYONE STOP TALKING

**Reyes : **I have an announcement to make!

**Reyes : **Ahem.

**Reyes : **There`s a bunch of Or14`s up ahead.

**Reyes : **In other words, you`re fucked.

**Jack : **Reyes!

**Reyes : **Whaaaat?

**Jack : **Stop being so unprofessional!

**Reyes : **bruh

**Reyes : **Don`t even try and pretend this chat has been professional for 2 seconds!

**Angela : **REIN

**Reinhardt : **YAH?

**Angela :** BEHIND

**Reinhardt : **OH

**Reinhardt : **IT`S ONE OF THE BIG BALL THINGS!

**Reinhardt : **I LOVE CHARGING INTO THEM!

**Reinhardt : **HRAHHHHHH

**Reyes : **Wtf is HE talking about?

**Angela : **The omnics?

**Tracer : **There are ball omnics now?

**Torbjorn :** Maybe you would know that if you weren`t too busy talking to that girl!

**Tracer : **Well excuse me Mr Torbjorn, but I'm not very experienced with balls if you couldn`t tell! :)

**Reinhardt : **EYYYY! ME NEITHER! :D

**Tracer : **EYYYY!

**Reinhardt : **EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

**Tracer : **A!

**Angela :** STOP.

**Reinhardt :** SORRY!

**Reinhardt : **I'M VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT THESE THINGS!

**Ana : **...Balls?

**Torbjorn : **You can say that again Rein!

**Torbjorn : **Remember that time you were playing with Brigitte and got her stuck up a tree?

**Torbjorn : **And you almost cried because you were scared she would get hurt?

**Angela : **Wait, really?

**Reinhardt : **NO

**Tracer : **Awww! <3

**Reinhardt : **STOP SPREAD LIES YOU OAF

**Reyes : **The big oaf really DOES care about people!

**Reinhardt : **AH

**Reinhardt : **HOW DO I MAKE THIS PAYLOAD MOVE FASTER?!

**Tracer : **You can`t!

**Tracer : **Now let us celebrate your new found vulnerability, Brigitte!

**Tracer : **Whoever that is! :D

**Reinhardt : **D:

**Angela : **(It`s Torb`s kid.)

**Tracer : **TORBJORN HAS KIDS?!

**Torbjorn : **Jesus Jack, you didn`t even fill her in on the basics!

**Jack : **How is you having a kid 'the basics'?

**Ana : **Are you saying talking about our kids isn`t important?

**Jack : **It`s not.

**Ana : **So our kids aren`t important to you?

**Ana : **Wooooooow

**Ana : **And Fareeha really liked you.

**Reyes : **She likes Jack more than she likes you.

**Ana : **Reyes, stfu

**Reyes : **You know I`m right. ;)

**Reinhardt : **OH HEYY WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT

**Reinhardt : **THE PAYLOAD`S ARRIVED!

**Tracer : **Aww, does this mean I`ll have to say goodbye to Emily?

**Jack : **YOU BROUGHT HER WITH YOU?!

**Tracer : **Yeah!

**Tracer : **We`ve been walking, talking, AND shooting!

**Angela : **It was quite impressive, actually.

**Reinhardt : **YAH!

**Jack : **Don`t encourage her!

**Tracer : **:OOOOOOOOOOO

**Tracer : **SHE SAYS I CAN COME VISIT HER! :D

**Tracer : **Awww yeah! :D

**Torbjorn : **As a friend.

**Tracer : **Don`t ruin this for me :(

**Reinhardt : **THAT`S WHAT THE OMNICS ARE FOR!

**Jack : **Alright team, listen up.

**Jack : **Once the payload blows up the door, you`ll have 5 minutes to kill the remaining OR14 units inside.

**Tracer : **Gotcha!

**Tracer : **wait

**Tracer : **What`s an OR14?

**Torbjorn : **SHE DOESN`T KNOW??

**Torbjorn : **WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU BRIEF HER ON?

**Tracer : **He told me about the area we`d be fighting in!

**Torbjorn : **YOU LIVE HERE!

**Tracer :** I KNOW! :D

**Reyes : **Jesus, Jack.

**Reyes : **Briefer of the year.

**Jack : **STOP QUESTIONING WHAT I DO, GABE!

**Reyes : **>:(

**Jack : **>:(

**Angela : **GUYS THE DOOR`S BLOWN UP CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??

**Angela : **YOU`RE DISTRACTING TRACER!

**Tracer : **Ohhhh, I didn`t even notice!

**Reinhardt : **SERIOUS TIME!

**Reinhardt : **GET BEHIND MY SHIELD!

**Torbjorn : **Plenty of room for all of us!

**Reinhardt : **THAT`S BECAUSE YOU BARELY TAKE UP ANY SPACE!

**Torbjorn : **>:((((((((((((

**Tracer : **:ooo

**Tracer : **IS THAT A HORSE?!

**Angela : **In what way is that a horse?

**Tracer : **It`s tall, and it has 4 legs!

**Reinhardt : **:O

**Reinhardt : **SHE`S RIGHT!

**Torbjorn : **IT`S SHOOING AT US!

**Torbjorn : **WHO CARES IF IT LOOKS LIKE A HORSE, PUT IT DOWN!

**Torbjorn : **PUT IT TO SLEEP, OR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL KILLING IT!

**Tracer :** Weird choice of wording, but ok!

**Jack : **Good job, team.

**Jack : **Move on to the next one.

**Tracer : **THERE`S MORE?

**Tracer :** Putting down one horsey robot was hard enough! :(

**Jack :** There`s four.

**Tracer : **D':

**Angela : **Think of it this way,

**Angela : **Killing them is the only way of getting out of here alive.

**Tracer : **And that helps me how?

**Angela : **You won't be able to see that red head again else! 

**Tracer : **:O

**Tracer : **Alright who`s ready to shoot up some horseys?

**Reinhardt : **MEEEEEEEEEEE

**Reinhardt : **WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**Tracer : **And there he goes!

**Angela :** REIN.

**Angela : **Do you have to charge off and leave us defenceless?!

**Reinhardt : **BUT I KILLED THE HORSE!

**Tracer : **Not before it ripped a hole through Torbjorn!

**Angela : **Wait wHAT

**Tracer : **Don't worry, I got him back up!

**Angela : **Sorry, didn't notice 

**Angela : **Because, you know...

**Tracer :** More short jokes, I get it!

**Torbjorn : **Thank you Tracer!

**Torbjorn : **Fuck you Rein and Angela!

**Tracer : **Hey!

**Tracer : **As a British person, the only swear words I will allow here are 'Bloody' and 'Hell'!

**Reyes : **I get you guys are having a moment and all,

**Reyes : **But you kiiiinda have 3 minutes until a bomb goes off and kills you all

**Tracer : **Oh yeah!

**Tracer : **This is what I've been saving up my pulse bombs for!

**Reinhardt : **STOPPING BOMBS WITH MORE BOMBS!

**Reinhardt : **YOU'RE MY NEW FAVOURITE!

**Tracer : **<3

**Tracer : **Aaaaaaand...

**Tracer : **I blew up the horse!

**Tracer : **Now I feel bad ;-;

**Angela : **Why??

**Angela : **They're literally going to blow up your home?

**Tracer : **yeah but

**Tracer : **It's a horse :(

**Reinhardt : **SHE DOES HAVE A GOOD POINT!

**Angela : **????

**Jack : **Final OR14, team!

**Reinhardt :** FOR GLORY,

**Reinhardt : **DRINKS,

**Reinhardt : **AND BRAGGING RIGHTS!

**Tracer : **Wait, so I still have to pay?

**Reinhardt : **YAH!

**Tracer : **Maybe we could hold off on killing it then?

**Reinhardt : **TOO LATE!

**Reinhardt : **VICTORY IS OURS!

**Jack : **Mission complete!

**Jack : **Good job, team.

**Angela : **By 'Victory' you mean,

**Angela : **You and Tracer charging in and stealing the glory for yourselves?

**Reinhardt : **YES

**Torbjorn : **Who cares?

**Torbjorn : **Either way, we get our vodka!

**Angela : **Oh thank god.

**Angela : **I don't know what I'd do without it.

**Jack :** At least I don't have to pay this time.

**Tracer : **well yeah

**Tracer : **About that!

**Angela : **DON'T.

**Angela : **SAY IT.

**Tracer : **wellllllllllll

**Tracer : **IshouldreallygocheckonEmilybye

**[Tracer has left the chat]**

**Torbjorn : **THAT

**Torbjorn : **SON

**Torbjorn : **OF

**Torbjorn : **A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like how blizzard decides to add 20+ new interactions, but do either of my mains get anything new? No :(  
Feels bad man
> 
>   
Blizzard: *Releases Echo*  
Also Blizzard: *Bans her instantly from comp in hero pool*
> 
> Sorry for delay. For someone who now spends 99% of their day inside, I'm surprisingly busy. And all my free time's been stolen by Fallout 76. :/
> 
> As always, suggestions are appreciated. I do have yet another 2 part chapter almost done, but we've had a lot of those lately, so I might hang onto it for a bit.


	16. Break :(

Hi!

Things have been extremely busy during the lock down for me, so just making this chapter to say that this will be on hiatus until the lock down is lifted, and things go back to normal.

This chapter will be deleted after the break.

Thanks for reading! :)


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